Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Tulip Mania Investments LLC

Tulips encased in lucite to enhance their investment value
  [vote for,

Round out your portfolio with an investment strategy that's hundreds of years old, but modernized for today's savvy investor. These fine tulips released in a limited edition of 10,000 units start at $5,000 each. Numbered and cataloged, these are 100% certified investment grade tulips.

For starting investors we offer partial ownership plans.

Grow your portfolio with the beauty of tulips. (Ask about our social media stocks trade in plan)

doctorremulac3, Oct 27 2014

Next time your in Bratislava. http://www.tuliphou...tel_bratislava.html
It don't look like a tulip to me. [popbottle, Oct 27 2014]

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       Hmm, we are persuaded to sell some of our South Sea Company holdings and buy into this in a big way ... sounds like a real winner. [+].
8th of 7, Oct 27 2014

       I put this roughly between a lastminute.com share and a bitcoin.
not_morrison_rm, Oct 27 2014

       You can probably buy a 10% share in a $1,000,000 tulip ... but on the margin, so it works out cheaper ...
8th of 7, Oct 27 2014

       A home shaped and painted to be a very large tulip ?
popbottle, Oct 27 2014

       … financed by a sub-prime mortgage bundled into a collectivised debt bond, perhaps ?
8th of 7, Oct 27 2014

       By the way, you don't need to actually physically possess the tulips, safe storage is available for a reasonable monthly fee. Ask about our mutual fund / tulip storage program.   

       Front loaded of course.   

       Our opportunity analysis group is working on the rollout of our "Virtual Tulip" investment program sometime in fiscal '15.
doctorremulac3, Oct 27 2014

       Presumably there will be a healthy trade in Virtual Tulip Futures ?   

       The ideal investment vehicle for the conservative shareholder … an undefined and unsecured stake in a nonexistent commodity that isn't even nonexistent yet.   

       Wall Street will just love it.
8th of 7, Oct 27 2014

       Hey man, if we get the full faith and backing of the U.S. gubment to guarantee the investments in the unlikely event that the market collapses, boom! We're in business!   

       The worst of capitalism meets the worst of communism! What's not to love?
doctorremulac3, Oct 27 2014

       //They are gonna raise your taxis.   

       The only two sure things in life, death and taxis..if that's an Egyptian taxi, they are often combined....wonders if there's a market for in-taxi canopic jars, but then realises they have been superseded by organ donor cards...
not_morrison_rm, Oct 27 2014

       If I know anything about history, its that nobody learns from the past. It is not only possible for the tulip boom to repeat itself, but is, also not impossible for the next boom to be bigger than ever before. You can hold me to this.
bob, Nov 01 2014


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