Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Undercover Campaign Misdirection

Grind campaign managers and pour humility on them...
(+1, -1)
  [vote for,

Live in a historically-categorized swing state where you're not certain if your candidate will win? Organize as many of your like- minded voters as you can find to tell any pollsters and campaign managers that call that they plan to vote for the other party. Thus being assured of a safe victory in that state, your opposing candidate thus spends less focus and money to try and capture it. Savor the moment as you picture their face when your state votes overwhelmingly for your candidate.
RayfordSteele, Nov 06 2016

Meanwhile, in Canada https://www.thestar...atches-car-burn.jpg
[FlyingToaster, Nov 09 2016]


       How do you chose which of the other parties to falsely declare for? Should there be a scheme to distribute the supposed support amongst the other parties equally, or should it all be focussed on one of the other parties?
pocmloc, Nov 06 2016

       The dominant ones would make the most sense for the largest effect.
RayfordSteele, Nov 06 2016

       You know, I can live with the outcome, no matter which way the fickle finger of fate, eventually rests. (has to do with a lot of medication, meditation, and an uncanny ability to bury my head deeply in the sand, at will).   

       However, and this is a huge however, my husband will not be.   

       He will be like a raging, mouth frothing, hot human mess of explosives, if Trump wins this. And that definitely effects our quality of life, on a moment to moment basis, for the next month or so. There will be enough fits of foul language and fist pounding, as to raise the dead.   

       So Please, please, please, be gentle with those of us who have to live with both the heartache and disappointment of the outcome, but also with the remains of our spouses and loved ones, who will have to be institutionalized, until they can regain their self-control.   

       I thank you advance.   

       And If you don't hear from me ever again, it's because I have left this beloved land, and moved to Siberia.Just thought you should know.
blissmiss, Nov 07 2016

       He won't be the only one.   

       Canada is much closer, and has a better climate in some places. I wouldn't even need to switch jobs.
RayfordSteele, Nov 07 2016

       Pshaw on such talk. You can't let some clown making it into office drive you out of a perfectly fine place to live.   

       Besides, halfway into his term he would lose interest in the job, do a Sarah Palin and abdicate.
normzone, Nov 07 2016

       //Canada is much closer, and has a better climate in some places. I wouldn't even need to switch jobs.   

       Better be quick. Canada's going to build a wall if Trump wins.
the porpoise, Nov 07 2016

       But if you all leave I won't be able to try out my recipe for braised Eloi in plum sauce.
LimpNotes, Nov 07 2016


       He's going to win by a landslide. The polls put him behind, for exactly the reason that the Brexiteers won - lots of people won't admit to being about to vote for him, but in the privacy of the ballot-box...
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 07 2016

       The republic will survive either, but I've been shocked, in recent days by the open lamenting of liberal opinion writers about "uneducated whites". The one segment of society that has been steadfastly pushing universal suffrage all of a sudden realized that it's bad if too many people with the opposite opinion vote.
theircompetitor, Nov 07 2016

       //He's going to win by a landslide.// Tolja.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 09 2016

       Not quite a landslide, but thankfully enough to bury the Wicked Witch of the West ... more farmhouse-sized than anything else, but sufficient for the task.
8th of 7, Nov 09 2016

       Wow Max you have a new career in election prediction. Everyone else in the business has just been fired.
the porpoise, Nov 09 2016

       He's got no interest in publicising his uncannily acurrate forecasts - he's too busy selling short in the markets.
8th of 7, Nov 09 2016

       Heil to the Cheetoh.
RayfordSteele, Nov 09 2016

       I don't usually lean towards stereotypicality, but <link>
FlyingToaster, Nov 09 2016

       //he's too busy selling short in the markets// Much easier to just place a bet on Trump. Turned out nice again.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 09 2016

       I feel very sorry for Trump, Judd Trump.
po, Nov 09 2016

       I seem to have under-estimated the sense of humour of the American electorate...
not_morrison_rm, Nov 09 2016

       All it took to win this election was "I'm not from Washington".
Voice, Nov 09 2016

       <smiles in Cheshire Cat>
LimpNotes, Nov 09 2016

       Presumably democrat voters will ban their kids from playing Top Trumps.
not_morrison_rm, Nov 10 2016

       Damn. This screws up my whole Euchre experience completely. My kids are going to grow up associating a card game with an orange demon.
RayfordSteele, Nov 10 2016

       Not to mention the Chronicles of Amber, which I hear is finally being made give the success of GoT
theircompetitor, Nov 10 2016

       //braised Eloi in plum sauce//   

       Please don't get like that [LimpNotes]. I was born morlock but raised eloi. So, I understand what's wrong with the eloi, but still, they're my friends and family, and I'm hoping against hope for some kind of reconciliation. Sort of like Erasmus trying to patch things up with the Lutherans before the hideous civil wars broke out. Oops. Too late. But worth a try, anyway.
pertinax, Nov 15 2016

       Its an interesting observation that those with much to lose, wish for peace, and those with much to gain, wish for war.
LimpNotes, Jan 02 2017

       That's remarkably profound. You're clearly buying a better grade of Christmas cracker these days.   

       Or is it fortune cookies ... ?
8th of 7, Jan 02 2017

       I had dinner with the devil. He's not such a bad guy.
LimpNotes, Jan 02 2017

       There's a reason that the greatest Russian novel is called War and Peace, and the greatest American novel is The Great Gatsby
theircompetitor, Jan 02 2017

       I thought it was called "The Poky Little Puppy"?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 02 2017


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