h a l f b a k e r y
Why on earth would you want that many gazelles anyway?
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Picture yourself in the crumbling Soviet Empire of the late 1980s. The constraints of your command economy have resulted in shortages from Warsaw to Moscow, and the imperialists have begun construction of an 800 ship navy just to rub it in your face. The workers are crying for liberation -from you! The
revolution has failed. Or has it? Could the imperialists very strength - the demon capitalism - defeat them? You could never bomb America, that would end the world. You must be stealthy. Yet poisoning the imperialists is impractical. There are too many. There is hope however, a slim hope. By the very principles of the capitalist dogs, they will purchase whatever seems to be a "better deal". Perhaps, they would buy more food than they actually need, more food even than is reasonable. If only a chain of restaurants would start such a trend. You pour yourself a martini and begin to take notes. Hours later, your scheme is finished. Agents of the KGB will infiltrate American eating franchises worldwide, starting a new race for global domination - the Food Race. If competitors come out with a double cheeseburger, they invent the triple cheeseburger. If they give the consumers french fries, your agents throw in onion rings. All the while, your agents reassure their victims that they are "Lovin' It." Within twenty years, the enemy shall die of heart disease. The capitalist pigs shall be pigs indeed.