Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Positive Affirmation Parrot

A working animal for those with issues
  (+4, -2)
(+4, -2)
  [vote for,
against]

Many people really just need a positive boost to make it through the day. The Positive Affirmation Parrot would be professionally trained to meet the needs of the individual. Once the patient and parrot are matched, the parrot would provide the encouragement to help the person through the day. The Parrot could be treated just like any working animal, allowing people to take their parrot wherever they go. The list of positive affirmation phrases is endless, but could include such jewels as: You deserve happiness; You have the power to change; You are forgiving; You live in abundance; You choose happiness; You look stunning in puffy shirts; You are flexible and open to change; You are confident; You deserve to be loved; You are creative.
Salted Nuts, Jan 15 2007

Evil parrots learn these. http://www.despair.com/viewall.html
[pertinax, Jan 16 2007]

Stoicism Parrot Stoicism_20Parrot
by pottedstu. [calum, Jan 16 2007]

[link]






       "I love it when you repeat yourself" +
xenzag, Jan 15 2007
  

       +1 but I don't trust a word my parrot says.   

       anyway its a budgie - with allusions of grandeur
po, Jan 15 2007
  

       This would be a great background for a short story - about the man who works at the parrot factory, training all these parrots to say life affirming things...
zen_tom, Jan 16 2007
  

       Nice. Better make sure that we don't teach the bird about sarcasm...   

       (My favourite demotivator has always been "Success")
Jinbish, Jan 16 2007
  

       <applause>
Jinbish, Jan 16 2007
  

       Not including piracy into parrot idea: [+]   

       Not including piracy into parrot idea: [-]
wagster, Jan 16 2007
  

       Worth it all meerly as build-up for Ian's pun.   

       In fact, it was so good, that if I were the suspicious, paranoid and delusional type, I might suspect that [Ian], [Jinbish] and [Salted Nuts] were all in cahoots (perhaps signalling to one another using some kind of pre-agreed code) and that this whole thing were engineered for the sole purpose of setting up that one joke.
zen_tom, Jan 16 2007
  

       "The parrot told me to do it, m'lud"
hippo, Jan 16 2007
  
      
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