Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Stoicism Parrot

Sits on your shoulder saying "Someday we all must die"
  (+21, -4)(+21, -4)
(+21, -4)
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Roman generals used slaves for this purpose. Parrots are more socially acceptable, and better able to accompany us through life, especially in these troubled times. To avoid the clamour of many birds, large offices may wish to employ a Shakespearean actor for the same purpose. However, the actor would require a parrot of his own lest the importance of his position should go to his head. A raven would also be fitting.
pottedstu, Nov 21 2001

Handbook of Epictetus (Enchiridion) http://classics.mit...tetus/epicench.html
Considered by many to be the best document of stoicism. [quarterbaker, Nov 21 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Your parrot sings http://www.youtube....watch?v=7jGbtIdOZ-M
Drowning Pool song - "Let The Bodies Hit The Floor" [normzone, Nov 14 2013]


       Or a toaster?
Aristotle, Nov 21 2001

       Mine would have to do that Caesar thing and remind me that I'm only human...
phoenix, Nov 21 2001

       speaking as one of lifes professional grumps, why on earth would I want a disease-ridden old bird sitting on my shoulder reminding me of my impending doom. This is the silliest idea I have come across, its worse than some of my own. I'd like a fiery dragon sitting on my shoulder breathing fire and whispering how good life is, a world with UnaBubba's, Dr Bobs', AfroAssualts, Bristolz', Bliss's, Peter Sealeys, and all my fans who without whom I would still be logging onto www.Geocities/madbirds/no brains/no life........
po, Nov 21 2001

       you'd be more than welcome, bliss but not the black hole that is No 1 son's bedroom!
po, Nov 21 2001

       Just to make sure we all understand what we're talking about, I've posted a link to the Handbook of Epictetus.

Contrary to popular views, stoicism is not a dark, dreary, morbid view. Nor is it ascetic. Certainly not nihilistic. If anything, it is just a view that says, "hey, the world works in certain ways, get used to it."
quarterbaker, Nov 21 2001

       I know a few too many chirpy, happy morning types who need such a pet. It should also never be toilet trained, to keep things in perspective even when they learn to tune it out.
Turbolich, Nov 22 2001

       '"hey, the world works in certain ways, get used to it." ([B/4]). That sounds like cat philosophy.
angel, Nov 22 2001

       pottedstu — Morituri Te Salutant.
The Military, Nov 22 2001

       UnaBubba: Would you alternate that with a moaning swan?
Guy Fox, Nov 22 2001

       angel -- Yes!
quarterbaker, Nov 23 2001

       "Yeah, and your day is going to be real soon if you crap on my shoulder again."
figure8out, Dec 02 2002

       I could live with having a cat attached to my shoulder. It's just that cats tend to get bored quicker and go off elsewhere. Plus not many of them can talk.
sadie, Dec 04 2002

       //I could live with having a cat attached to my shoulder// Not for long
thumbwax, Dec 04 2002

       [UB]: Would the parrot be required to sing O Fortuna in the typical high pitched, Omen-style or would you be just as happy if it sang it in the style of Bob Marley?
Jinbish, Dec 04 2002

       And what, in turn, will check -the parrot's- hubris? I used to have a cat who enjoyed leaping onto a parakeet's ceiling-hung cage and careening back and forth. A bit big, though -- perhaps chicken nugget epaulets would do.
n-pearson, Jun 18 2003

       In most cases this would not work, If I were a big shot Roman general - especially after Caligula era- I would reply "better others before me than, kill those rebellians!". arabic or turkic rules had a slave to remind them " there is god greater than you", but those guys acted as if the "only" person greater than them was the god. When something becomes affiliated with office or state, it loses its effectiveness.
gilgamesh, Jul 22 2003

       Nah! What you need is an elderly relative snoozing away in the big armchair in the corner and waking up occasionally to announce that "we did it better in my day and without all this technology rubbish. Things used to be built to last and now they fall to bits five minutes after you get them home. I didn't fight in two World Wars..."
DrBob, Jul 22 2003

       When my old grey cat landed on a colleague's shoulder, he growled, "Arrrgh! Damn cat ate m'bird!"
Dood, May 25 2006

       Hey, [UnaBubba],   

       Fortunae plango vulnera stillantibus ocellis, quod sua mihi munera subtrahit rebellis.   

       ... and the parrot never even warned me!
pertinax, May 25 2006

       A good parrot is still cheaper than a segway.
undata, Sep 13 2006

       Like Nuns parrots seem to travel in pairs, not apples. Suggest two birds with one stoic.
popbottle, Nov 13 2013

       Have you heard?   

       The bird has been shown to be the more or less equivalent to the word for 50 years today.
RayfordSteele, Nov 13 2013

       You mean the bird IS the word?
rcarty, Nov 14 2013


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