Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Unusably Huge Caliber Pistol

It doesn't matter how big it is ... wait, of course it does.
  (+13)(+13)
(+13)
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I was reading about very fancy sports cars. I then was thinking about a beautiful "concept" motorcycle which cost a half million dollars and was almost entirely comprised of an enormous engine. It was not rideable. I was wondering - who would buy such a thing. Then I was thinking about the 50 caliber Desert Eagle pistol. There are parallels.

I propose a pistol that would be for collectors and aficionados. It would be more beauftiful than a pistol needs to be. It would fire enormous, ferocous appearing bullets - I envision thermos sized, angry, grooved red steel bullets. The recoil would be phenomenal, but a spring built into the gun absorbs this. One must release the spring later. One can use the spring to propel a special wooden bullet from the same gun.

This pistol would be fireable. Just very impractical. But big. Yes, so big.

bungston, May 07 2008

Custard Gun Custard_20gun
What any good halfbaker ought to be firing in the first place. [ye_river_xiv, May 09 2008]

Gun wrapping service Gun_20wrapping_20service
Shameless self promotion [ye_river_xiv, May 09 2008]

Mood reading gun Mood_20Reading_20Gun
Shameless self promotion again [ye_river_xiv, May 09 2008]

Ramjet Ammo Ramjet_20ammo
Have I got some bullets for you... [ye_river_xiv, May 09 2008]

Is this the motorcycle you're talking about? http://www.allpar.c...cepts/tomahawk.html
Tomahawk concept motorcycle [Eugene, May 09 2008]

[link]






       in WW2, Allied soldiers found mortars left behind by the Japanese; they called them "knee mortars" because it had a curved butt-plate and looked like it was fireable from your thigh (while in a relaxed kneeling position).   

       Several broken legs later, they decided to rename it.
FlyingToaster, May 07 2008
  

       I must send you a pic of the model I made of an idea for a Colt 4.5... it's mounted on a tank body. I was thinking of posting it here, but no need now, as this is similar. Naturally I approve +
xenzag, May 07 2008
  

       The idea has an appeal, certainly.
You could leave it lying around the place (i.e. the gym or drunken Stag Party locations and when questioned say
"Don't, whatever you do, pull the trigger!. You aren't strong enough for the recoil!"
Hilarity will Ensue (pursued by ambulances).
gnomethang, May 07 2008
  

       use a recoilless rifle design (sort of like a bazooka, flames shoot out the back of the barrel but there's no recoil), with two channels coming out the rear of the gun at 45' to the barrel to direct the blast around the user. Then, the only size limitation is the weight of the gun.   

       To go further, get a few hobby-sized turbofan engines and mount them around the gun. When the gun's safety is turned off, the jet engines will activate and support the gun's weight for easy use. The demonic howl will intimidate and impress all observers.   

       For the ultimate shell, use the warhead from the Davy Crockett nuclear bazooka. Built and tested during the Cold War, this variable-yield warhead and delivery system was man-portable and could kill everyone within a two-mile radius.   

       This system's lethality would match its size and beauty.
sninctown, May 07 2008
  

       That common error in movies, where a shooting victim is thrown backwards (typically through a large window) by the impact of a bullet hitting them - well, this gun might actually make that happen.
hippo, May 08 2008
  

       I approve, but this is pretty well baked. As you mention the Desert Eagle in 50 cal, you should know the reason they don't make a 60 cal is that US law limits cased shells to 1/2 diameter. If the law is ever changed, Desert Eagle will have a commemorative gun for sale on that day with the new legal limit caliber. So you can go with a caseless shell, i.e. shotgun, which will allow you to build a 6 gauge wrist breaker semi-legally. You can also do as suggested in one of my favorite books "Against Gravity" about a guy who enters the Paris-Dakar and a friend suggest that he buy a 25/37mm (I can't remember) flare gun for protection. At the very least the mear sight of it will scare the crap out of whoever it is pointed at. All the big flare guns are metal, so technically you could get the flare gun and then have a crazy friend (I can loan you mine if you don't have one) load a slug round for it. I'd suggest test firing it first using a long string while hiding behind a sturdy object a block away.
MisterQED, May 08 2008
  

       I've fired a Desert Eagle .50. This is already baked by my lights. I couldn't keep the damn thing from turning straight up within my grip.
normzone, May 08 2008
  

       //I've fired a Desert Eagle .50. This is already baked by my lights. I couldn't keep the damn thing from turning straight up within my grip.//
So, perhaps you'll recognise the wisdom of your elected government in limiting the calibre of hand weapons?
AbsintheWithoutLeave, May 08 2008
  

       "So, perhaps you'll recognise the wisdom of your elected government in limiting the calibre of hand weapons?"   

       Boy, that's a complex statement. First I'd need to address the oxymoron of wisdom and government.   

       Then the issue of calibre limitation. The .50 shoots just fine in a bipod-mounted rifle. And I still would like to own a Desert Eagle, purely for those occasions when you need to punch a hole in something.   

       And as for elected, that's a whole 'nother can of worms.   

       So, I guess the short answer would be "no".
normzone, May 08 2008
  

       Make guns more fun and less usable.   

       [+]
wagster, May 08 2008
  

       //First I'd need to address the oxymoron of wisdom and government// Well, statistically, roughly 50% of you must've elected them.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, May 08 2008
  

       I'm fascinated by [MisterQED]'s offer, if I understand correctly, of a "crazy friend" on loan. Do you only have one? Do you require a damage deposit? Does it come with any special skills / odd quirks / dangerous tendancies? Does it know about the HB?
lurch, May 09 2008
  

       Absinthe needs to do a quick review of Democracy American Style. A 50% turnout would be great, an election by plurality of the population would be miraculous.
WcW, May 09 2008
  

       Ooh! It's a Gun idea, and it looks like we're about to get into the flame war part of the annos...   

       I applaud this idea. My only concern would be that someone might decide the enormous, slow(er) moving ammunition would make this weapon ideal for home defense...   

       Well, maybe that wouldn't be a bad thing either.   

       Hmm, I think I can find some shameless self promotion to tag on here...
ye_river_xiv, May 09 2008
  

       When I lived in San Diego, a guy managed to steal a tank and drive it around suburbia for a while squashing quite a few parked cars. I don’t think the right to bear arms covered that particular incident, but I admit I was rooting for him a just little bit.
bneal27, May 09 2008
  

       [lurch] Crazy friends: you can usually only ever have one, because when you meet another, they usually raise the bar so much the previous friend seems normal. Is he really on loan? Well yes and no, he has lots of free time to be crazy, but he lacks motivation to spread his craziness, so he mostly stays at home. Does he have any special skills? Lots. He is a NASA spec soderer (sp?), a chemistry wiz, an NRA member and home reloader of shotgun shells and rifle bullets and a home brewer of beer, wine & spirits. You know, standard crazy friend skills. Does he read the HB? I don't know. I've sent him links.
MisterQED, May 09 2008
  

       //an NRA member //
That's a special skill now, is it?
coprocephalous, May 09 2008
  

       I was trying to think of a polite term for gun nut. His special skill is actually marksmanship, of which he is uncanny, with everything from a crappy camp bows and arrows, BB guns to high powered rifles. The NRA thing is just a symptom. He is the reason I know as much as I do about firearms.   

       Oh and I missed odd quirks and dangerous tendencies, which he has several. I don't want to go into too many details as he may be reading this, but I'm sure he'd admit to several odd quirks and numerous dangerous tendancies. We met when I was in 5th grade and he showed me how to stick fries to the ceiling using ketchup for glue and a spoon for a launcher, but we've moved on a lot from there.   

       I'm now trying to get him into home made sugar rockets and then home made fireworks.   

       The weird thing is after writing this I'm trying to figure out how many people consider me their crazy friend. There are at least two.
MisterQED, May 09 2008
  

       //The NRA thing is just a symptom// - indeed. When recruiting, I found these types much more approachable, as they weren't appalled by the presentation of such an idea. The stable, sane types proved to be somewhat more likely to respond by slitting my tires and setting fire to my lilac bushes.   

       I'd never even attempt the Desert Eagle .50. I have proven completely incapable of hitting anything with a handgun, which I find very embarrassing among my circle of crazy friends, who think that my ability with a rifle should directly transfer.
lurch, May 09 2008
  

       //NASA spec soderer //
sp. "sodomiser" ?
coprocephalous, May 09 2008
  

       Do they still make cannons? That would do the job wouldn't it?   

       As for crazy friends: sounds like Mike from Spaced. He brings a land-mine to a party.
theleopard, May 09 2008
  

       This would be great for fans of the anime "Hellsing". That vampire has a ridiculous gun!   

       Also, I think the bullets should have a shark motif painted on them, teeth and ferocious eyes and all.
qt75rx1, May 09 2008
  

       In the spirit of the idea, the feet per second should be low, so you could hear it coming and have time to become properly afeared.   

       Definitely the shark motif. And it should make growling noises.
normzone, May 09 2008
  

       dunno about the pistol, but a friend of mine calls shooting a .50 rifle "random chiropracty"
FlyingToaster, May 09 2008
  
      
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