Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Webbed Lips

Your roving reporter visits Professor Visage de Grenouille in the lab.
  [vote for,

RR - Prof. Grenouille, please tell our readers about your current project.
PG - Certainly, well I’m in the middle of clinical testing of webbed lips after successful trials on wide mouth frogs. See these triangular membranes in the corners of my mouth?
RR - Yes, quite chichi, and before you opened your mouth, I had no idea. You reminded me of Julia Roberts.
PG - You’re too kind. The webs’ rubber compound is quite elastic and hardly hinders mastication or speech.
RR - Whatever gave you the inspiration for this splendid idea?
PG - Well, actually it was when I was training my simultaneous capacity in front of the mirror, brushing my teeth while whisking off cat hairs from my black cotton blouse with a moist palm. I think it was the toothpaste foam overflowing a lip and seeing the folded skin between my left thumb and forefinger. Later, while entering the World Wide Web, the whole concept hit me.

RR - So, what other practical uses do webbed lips provide besides drip-less tooth brushing?
PG - Of course, there’s the convenience of eating with your mouth open and not needing to cover one’s mouth when yawning or picking teeth. And then, there’s the bedroom.
RR - Please go on.
PG - The webbing is a wonderful drool guard, and from tape recordings, I’ve noticed that snores acquire a pleasant whistling resonance. However, these don’t explain my spouse’s unusual support for the project.
RR - Any drawbacks noted?
PG - Well, I’ve noted that I use twice as much lipstick as before, and I eat burgers vertically now.
RR - And finally, tell us how one attaches and removes the webs.
RG - I composed a two component adhesive that includes chewing gum and super glue. I’m presently feverishly toiling to perfect a safe solvent to detach them.

FarmerJohn, Jul 30 2003


       Got 'em off yet, [FJ]?
saker, Jul 30 2003

       Gotta vote against this, FJ. I can hardly get a whole doughnut into my mouth as it is. I'd have no chance whatever if I had webbed lips.
DrBob, Jul 30 2003

       I pine for a photopod over webbed lips.
sartep, Jul 30 2003

       //I pine for a photopod over webbed lips.//   

       What would that look like, I wonder.
k_sra, Jul 30 2003

       A photopod is another web like apendage but for locomotion.
sartep, Jul 30 2003

       (Spiderman to Mary Jane)


       "Don't worry honey; FarmerJohn is working on a solvent."
P.S. Dr. face of the feminine frog?

       I Babelled "Frog Face".
FarmerJohn, Aug 01 2003


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