Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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cheap tricks

grab bag of anti theft ideas
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(+8, -2)
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being poor, my car is my prize possession. it's been attempted stolen three times, and each time i have to think of a cheaper, more crude method of prevention,or a least theft vengeance. the attemtps were only made after i got lazy in my preventative methods,or too trusting in the world.here's a few that i'm currently employing.

- carpet tacks and needles under a seat cover. stick needles halfway into seat(blunt first) for hideabilty. i have a tiger stripe seat cover with lumpy fur to mask the peaks. - take out the coil! only experts carry around a spare one.hell, take out two.take out any piece of your engine that you know how to put back in! - i bought expanded steel sections and bolted them across my smaller window panels. drilled and mounted from the inside. thinking of doing all of them. - idustrial glued carpet tacks under my door handle. left a space for one finger.bent them to hook into the position required to open.plus they get rusty. funny story:up late one night,heard scream outside. in morning,three tacks were missing from driver side door. - turn up radio (better yet,cd,cued to specific song of choice)loud as it can go.air cond, wipers, anything that will come on when started by a thief and either scare him or alert you,every time you park for some time. these are extreme measures for the extremley poor. please post 'em if you got 'em!

trav2, Jul 25 2001

Catalytic converter protection Catalytic_20Converter_20Theft_20Deterrent
Directions for mounting the device is abit sketchy, but it's a cheap trick. [ye_river_xiv, May 07 2008]

Liquid Insurace Liquid_20insurance
For the cost of a beer a day... [ye_river_xiv, Jun 06 2008]

EEVblog Tears into the White Van Speaker Scam http://hackaday.com...te-van-speaker-scam
[Dub, Oct 09 2014]


       also,if your car sits for some time,say,in a community sale lot,paint the price on every window, along with the phrase "if this car is moving it is stolen!". if you have to move it or test drive for someone, just add soap and water...something a thief isn't gonna have on him at 3 am.
trav2, Jul 25 2001

       This isn't what I thought it would be about.   

       Question: how do *you* drive your car if there are carpet tacks in the seat?
PotatoStew, Jul 25 2001

       How about a fake severed horse's head on the passenger seat to suggest that stealing the car might cause the driver to get some unwanted attention.
Aristotle, Jul 25 2001

       [admin: use an empty line to separate paragraphs, or a <br> at the end of a line to get a line break separating your list items.]
jutta, Jul 25 2001

       Make a convincing replica of a wireless miniature video camera and place it on the dashboard with a view of the driver. You might also need a sign explaining the camera's function.
beauxeault, Jul 25 2001

       Excellent! I buy old cars and drive them till they die. This has kept my average monthly cost for a car to $50 to $75 (not including gas, insurance) for at least 10 years now.   

       Your idea of removing any engine part that you can easily replace is a good one. Here's some others: 1. Install a rocker switch on one of the battery cables. 2. Put a quick-release valve stem on one tire. Let the air out when parked for a longer time (why steal a car with a flat tire). Requires keeping a compressor in the car. 3. Put Gay Pride bumper stickers on it. 4. Wire a hidden switch (in glove box or under dash) that, if in the "on" position, honks the horn continuously when the ignition key is on. 5. If it is a cheap car anyway, inflict significant cosmetic-only damage. Less appealing to burglars, but perfectly functional. 6. Wire circuit from battery to car seat and steering wheel -- an unknowing person will get shocked if sitting and touching the wheel. 7. Install a camera flash unit, wired to battery with hidden switch, that will flash repeatedly in drivers face. 8. Plaster the car with "I <heart> my <doghead>" stickers, then put dozens of plastic poo on the seats, dash, floor. 9. If the exhaust system is in good shape, keep a bag of potatos in the trunk. Stuff one in the tailpipe when you park. 10. Replace all standard controls with handicapped controls. Most burglars won't know how to use them. (not cheap, though). 11. Fill washer fluid reservoir with dark, opaque fluid. Then do the hidden switch thing for the washers. 12. Hidden valve on fuel line.   

       That's all for now.
quarterbaker, Jul 25 2001

       Another cheap solution is to mount a lit or flashing LED on the dashboard to simulate an alarm system. This can be reinforced by placing stickers on the windows indicating the car is protected by an alarm system.
phoenix, Jul 25 2001

       Coil is quite a good one but a rotor arm is usually easier to remove. That and add a fuse after the +ve wire on the battery. Mount it somewhere where its hidden and take it out at night. I also read about a guy with a Cosworth disconnecting his battery and wiring the car to the mains. Wouldnt advise this though cos if you cause someone bad harm you will be liable for prosecution.
Vader, Jul 26 2001

       or...if you happen to live in south africa you can install that crazy flame thrower car alarm that burns the living hades out of everything in a ten foot radius that im sure we've all seen videos of....not a good idea if you have kids or pets.....you'd have to get one of those "do not play on or around" dumpster signs and make good use of it....god forbid fifi gets out the kitty door....
PigPus, Jul 26 2001

blixa, Jul 26 2001

       Have x10 Popups repeatedly display on Windshield.
thumbwax, Jul 26 2001

       I had a friend who lived in San Francisco and worked in a pretty rough part in the south of the city. He drove a white van with a mega-stereo (not one of thos boomy ones, but one that was actually an audiophiles dream). In any case, he protected his van very simply: he had a signpainting shop screenprint a couple of very prominent radioactive materials symbols on each side of the van.

The van was not once disturbed.
bristolz, Jul 26 2001

       Cutouts of Rick Neilsen and Bun E. Carlos in the windows. That'll do it.
The Military, Jul 27 2001

       I'm still laughing at thumbwax's comment...

If you're within earshot of your car, you could always velcro a tarp to the windshield. When the thief goes to remove it, you'll hear both the tarp moving and the RIP of the velcro.
AfroAssault, Aug 17 2001

       i got a cheap trick, ive never tried it but it might work. Buy a bunch of cheap a$$ wallets (kmart ones or something) and everytime you park your car outside and if you suspect a thief will come by to steal your car... leave one wallet on the top of the car, when the thief sees it, he'll grab the wallet and leave, screw your car. he rather have the wallet. (i wouldnt do this outside your house though.. the thief will come back, best if used when your out at the mall/school or whatever) Leave like 50 cents or so in the wallet to satisfy the $%@$. If the wallet is still there when you get back then good for you.
racinghart, Aug 20 2001

       Twice a week at 2.00 a wallet and .50 cents a drop is 130 dollars a year. Cheaper to get a Car Alarm. Empty bullet shell casings in and around car would be a cheaper alternative.
thumbwax, Aug 21 2001

       u guys most of these ideas everyone has is mostly stupid. the windows rolling up and having gas go into the car, that is stupid cause most of the time the windows r going to get broken first of all. the only true way u guys are going to have a car that is truely theft protectect is to have bulletproff windows and do not have ne gap for a slimjim to fit into or a block for it. even though the windows are bullet proof there is still bullets and guns that will shoot right through it. and a security system can most of the time be dissabled by having a device the goes onto the wires to dissable it and the lower tech ones ya just get a 300,000 volt personal defence and zap it. and i have been stealing cars for over 5 years now. and if u can find a way u think it will be theft proof there will be a way to get around it. And if i am shocked it will have to be very bad cause i am a lil phyco just to let u all know i accationally shock myself lol. and if some mother fucker sets me on fire i am gonna blow up the car with abomb i have to detinate for an amount of time. and if i get really pissed i am gonna brake into the fucking house and shoot it up with the sawed off shotgun i carry under my coat. info from the car guy
cartheftguy, May 18 2002

       jutta, you *do* keep some sort of record of IP's, don't you?
RayfordSteele, May 18 2002

       thats criminal spelling and grammar you have [cartheftguy]
kaz, May 19 2002

       the little phyco should be locked up (somewhere with a padded room for his own protection perhaps)
po, May 19 2002

       I'm outta jail again but not for boosting cars. other thing long story and my roomate just destroyed the engine on my bmw, so that will be the car i get tonight.just to let ppl know if u wanna keep ur car get a fake key made and put it in the ignitionand drill a whole through ur ignition turn thingy and put a lock on it.cause one of the easiest way is to stick a screw driver in it and hit it with a hammer.turn it then u ain't got to worry got breaking the steering column. info from the car guy
cartheftguy, May 22 2002

       To cartheftguy,   

       I'm not here to diss you like everyone else, rather seek the advice of a pro. I'm 17 from the UK and getting my 1st car (peugot 106).   

       Some basic ideas for protecting the car would be great!
thepasty, Jul 16 2002

       thepasty: You've already taken an excellent step toward avoiding car theft ..... no-one in their right mind is going to want to steal a Peugeot 106 ....   

       To be serious for a moment, there are two issues: Having the car stolen, and the damage thieves do while trying to get in.   

       On the first score, a decent immobilser (Thatcham rated) will frustrate most car thieves, and the pros aren't going to be after your little 106. On the second, it's as much a matter of where you park as what you do (but of course you might not have any choice). My advice would be never, ever leave anything of obvious value in the car (leave the hatchback cover off so people can see there's nothing in there), and if you must have a radio or stereo, get one you can remove when you leave the car. And ALWAYS take it with you.
8th of 7, Jul 16 2002

       Most attempts at car theft can never be stopped, but you can often do enough to make attempts at stealing a car too time consuming to be worth the effort.   

       Come to think of it, a bit of locktite on most any car parts can be helpful. There's a lot of removable parts that you don't want removed, and this is a pretty easy way to slow down the thieving process. Painting over screw slots can be useful as well.   

       A friend of mine had his car battery stolen. Since these can leak and damage the car, putting it in a marine battery box, if possible is always a good idea, although that won't buy much time. Squeeze a bit of locktite on the hold down rods for better effect, or if possible, drill a hole through them to lock the wing nuts on. Such a tiny lock won't do much either though.   

       I'm not a big fan of the removable stereo face plate idea. As I understand, replacements are pretty easy to get now, and carrying it around will just make it prone to being lost or damaged. They sell fake faceplates that make any stero look cheap though. Not exactly a cheap trick...   

       Another expensive trick is a custom paint job. Most car thieves don't want to get attention wherever they go. That can attract vandalism though.   

       Here's a cheap trick: Carve the VIN of the car onto most of the parts of the car, and photograph where you did this. Most car thefts are by professionals with chop shops these days, so identifying the parts as stolen might help police to track down the criminals, and put them in jail again for a while. Then all the cars in your area will be a little safer.
ye_river_xiv, Sep 30 2007

       Dont ever reverse into a parking spot. It leaves your car vunerable to thieves with a tow truck.
sprogga, Jun 06 2008

       A friend of mine delivered pizzas, and his car had a hard time starting, so he would leave it running during a delivery, and just stick the tire iron through one of the holes in the rim, so it would jam against the brake rotor. It foiled thefts more than once, the car would be a block away with a black tire mark leading to it.
n81641, Jun 10 2008

       On May 17 2002 [cartheftguy] acquired a user account, apparently for the sole purpose of posting his above rant(s) - pardon me, that should have read annoes, and was never heard from again.
normzone, Oct 09 2014


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