Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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1984 Themed Vending Machine

Consume And Return Citizen
  [vote for,

The vending machine would be white with "CONSUME" printed on the top in black block letters. The payment slot would say "Insert Credits Here" (credits being cash, change or credit card) and the snacks would all be in white wrappers with stark names like "Sugar Bar" and "Fatted Potatoes" printed in dull, blocky faunts.

After you got your snack the wording on the top would change to "CONSUME AND RETURN".

doctorremulac3, Nov 30 2011

Brewed & Fermented Cereal Grains http://farm3.static...8132_d13c35bfc6.jpg
7 Credits, and your change is: [+] [swimswim, Dec 01 2011]

Repo Man http://en.wikipedia...Man_(film)#Elements
Foodstuffs packaged as described in this idea. [DrBob, Dec 01 2011]

Preferred hair style to wear at "Drink" http://rocketdungeo...-ufo-remakeand.html
Jump suits may be white or metallic. [doctorremulac3, Dec 01 2011]

How about this? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0063962/
The girl in the back, not the guys obviously [doctorremulac3, Dec 01 2011]

What the future was supposed to look like back then. http://www.youtube....watch?v=US7IF31wDVM
The fastest teletypes, the coolest looking tape data storage drives and computers festooned with thousands of cool blinking lights. [doctorremulac3, Dec 01 2011]

Several suggested ways to flash your Literary License Badge http://www.youtube....watch?v=CGcVhoHdRFo
Mine would be the one starting at 0:42 with "blog poster" being said instead of "police officer". (complete with the lady's reaction after) [doctorremulac3, Dec 03 2011]

Konzum Supermarket, HR http://www.konzum.hr/
I enjoyed the name of this supermaket chain while visiting Croatia for similar reasons [idris83, Dec 05 2011]

MultiPlusGood / DoublePlusCard http://www.multipluscard.hr/
Konzum supermarket even uses Newspeak... [idris83, Dec 05 2011]


FlyingToaster, Nov 30 2011

       ... [+]
Alterother, Nov 30 2011

       <wonders what citizens taste like>
RayfordSteele, Dec 01 2011

       this idea fnord is the best on the whole board
Voice, Dec 01 2011

       yes, it is doubleplusgood.
swimswim, Dec 01 2011

       <after tasting one, returns citizen>
RayfordSteele, Dec 01 2011

       [+] oh can we call the vending machine *memory hole*? or the opposite of...
xandram, Dec 01 2011

       Was hoping it sold Marathon bars and Opal Fruits.
theleopard, Dec 01 2011

       I like the 'Food: Meat flavored.'
RayfordSteele, Dec 01 2011

       That gives me an idea. A 1984 themed bar (pub) would be pretty interesting. One kind of drink only and signs all over the bar saying stuff like "Drink and Forget". "Inebriate and Socialize". "Engage in Mating Rituals".   

       From time to time you'd hear: "Big Brother Requests That You Dance Now". The songs would be really horrible mechanical dance beats (Well, we've got that part down already.) and the lyrics would be stuff like: "Our bodies are firm and healthy, We are ready for sexual congress. Now disengage in conversation and kiss me. Now stop kissing me as the song is over."   

       I could see a club in Manhattan doing something like this. I'm picturing the more "everything is white plastic with lit up floors" mid century dystopian design rather than the "ducts and mechanical systems sticking out all over the place uncovered by walls" dystopian decor. The latter is more depressing. The former has more of a "Well, at least the future is clean." vibe to it.
doctorremulac3, Dec 01 2011

       Hmm. White mono-sex jump suits. But the girls all have purple hair like my first love. (see link)
doctorremulac3, Dec 01 2011

       Link is glitchy [dr].
normzone, Dec 01 2011

       I'll try another one.
doctorremulac3, Dec 01 2011

       Salt snack. consume. relax. feel comforted. recommend this product socially. obey.
Voice, Dec 02 2011

       I like the idea, but I don't think you've actually read 1984. It's not about being 'stark'.
Loris, Dec 02 2011

       They don't mention "fatted potatoes" either.   

       "1984 Themed Vending Machine" is just a better title than "Vending machine inspired by generic mid century literature dystopia 1960s sci-fi movie set designer interpretation."   

       "Nineteen Eighty-Four" is the actual title of the book by the way, everybody who's actually read it knows that. It's my second favorite novel after Hitchhiker's Guide.
doctorremulac3, Dec 02 2011

       he s mixing it up with that alien movie. Just go with it.
Voice, Dec 02 2011

       Day of the Truffles perhaps.
FlyingToaster, Dec 02 2011

       I really got tired of the Hitchhiker's Guide after the first two books. Only so much mildly-depressing exasperation-style humor I can read before it all starts sounding the same.
RayfordSteele, Dec 02 2011

       I'm a fan of the first two and a half books of the 4 book trilogy. It did feel a little milked towards the end.
doctorremulac3, Dec 02 2011

       //"Nineteen Eighty-Four" is the actual title of the book by the way.//   

       I'm too lazy to type that all over the place.   

       //It's my second favorite novel...//   

       So why all the misrepresentation in your previous post?   

       //"1984 Themed Vending Machine" is just a better title than "Vending machine inspired by generic mid century literature dystopia 1960s sci-fi movie set designer interpretation."//   

       I don't know, "Dystopian vending" seems fine to me. If you wanted to licence preexisting culture for brand recognition, "Repo man themed vending machine" would be a better fit. (From what I've heard; I don't think I've seen the film.)   

       Fun fact: a major supermarket chain here ("Sainsburies") now sells their own-brand stuff in plain white (+back text) packaging. They've not quite managed to go all the way; they still print chatty comments on it and the fonts arn't plain enough to go directly into such a vending machine.
Loris, Dec 03 2011

       When I was a little kid, the grocery stores used to stock 'generic' foodstuffs that were literally sold in unadorned white packaging with block-letter labels simply proclaiming what the contents were (or resembled). I don't know when this ended; today they're called 'store brand' and have simple-yet-colorful, non-copyright-violating subtle imitations of the logos on the brand-name products that the store-brand foods themselves subtly imitate. I sort of miss the old vaguely Orwellian generic foods.
Alterother, Dec 03 2011

       //faunts// Change that to \\fonts\\ then delete this anno, thereby rewriting history.
mouseposture, Dec 03 2011

       //So why all the misrepresentation in your previous post?//   

       Because, to put it another way, the idea wasn't "Vending Machine That Would Have Fit Perfectly Into The Novel Nineteen Eighty-Four Without Any Creative Flourish Added On My Part".   

       If somebody asks you for a Kleenex do you point out that Kleenex is a specific brand name and it should otherwise be referred to as a "tissue paper"? It's ok to take a little latitude when getting your point across. "Dystopian Vending" doesn't really make any sense. I'll stick with the present title if you don't mind.   

       My next idea might for a "Literary License", a nice shiny metal badge in a little leather wallet that you can flash like an FBI agent at people picking at your writing. It'll say "FICTION WRITER" At the top and "I CAN WRITE ANYTHING I WANT TO" at the bottom. Maybe have that planet from the cover of the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy in the middle.
doctorremulac3, Dec 03 2011

       //Because, to put it another way, the idea wasn't "Vending Machine That Would Have Fit Perfectly Into The Novel Nineteen Eighty-Four Without Any Creative Flourish Added On My Part".//   

       I can tell by subtle clues that you're getting exasperated, but my nature just won't leave it alone. Sorry.   

       The thing is, when something is described as being 'themed', it's going to be generally expected to actually reflect that source.
I don't have a problem with creative flourishes. Ignoring the source (or worse, getting it wrong) however, is only going to draw ire.
Loris, Dec 03 2011

       <Flashes badge>
doctorremulac3, Dec 03 2011

       Is there someone named "Badge" here?
swimswim, Dec 03 2011


       Sure you can.
However, I'd like to point out that by claiming that you're admitting that some of what you write is false (or to use a technical term, bollocks).
Loris, Dec 03 2011

       No. ALL of what I wrote is false. It's fiction.   


       Those asterisks are the sun glinting off my literary license badge.
doctorremulac3, Dec 03 2011


       We don't need no steenking badges...
Alterother, Dec 03 2011

       (see link)
doctorremulac3, Dec 03 2011

       It might be better if the products inside are gawdy colors, and proclaim how doubleplusgood they are.   

       I'm not sure "Consume and return" is really the best way to word it though... some people might try to insert their consumed "Bar:sugar and nuts" back into the machine.
ye_river_xiv, Dec 04 2011

       Actually, to be true to Ninteen Eighty-Four, the book, all the products would be titled "Victory____", as in Victory Cocolate, Victory Chips etc. The background of the novel was the never ending, amorphous war and associated social struggle that everybody was supposed to devote their lives to.   

       This however doesn't make for a funny post on Halfbakery.   

       I like your "Double-Plus-Good." being on the back of the wrappers. Although that would take away from the stark, cold, meaningless existance I'm hoping to have associated with this machine. Double-plus-good would make it kind of cheery, which would be un-good.   

       I can think of worse ways for them to interpret "Consume and Return" though.
doctorremulac3, Dec 05 2011

       Insert credit and out pops The Milkybar Kid through the vending machines chute.   

       I'll keep the hat.
skinflaps, Dec 05 2011

       Just in time for the holidays, feel good about yourself by getting all of your obligatory shopping done in one stop. Insert credit card, press the "Man (age 40-66)" button, and select a quantity to complete your purchasing duties for your father and older, male co-workers. "Woman, (age 40- 66)" will let your mother and older, female co-workers know you care. And don't forget "Dog (all ages)," because you know you will feel the guilt pain again if you do not. Merry purchasing! Come again.
swimswim, Dec 11 2011

       If it served 'coffee'* of the quality excreted (there is no other word for it) by some current beverage vending machines, it would be the ideal preliminary to the Two Minute Hate…   

       *Actually, the sort of liquid even a Nutri-Matic machine would be ashamed to serve.
8th of 7, Dec 14 2011

       Choco ration's going up!
crok, Jan 02 2012


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