Offices are, for the vast majority, pretty soulless places. Which is crazy, when you think of how many people spend so much of their time there. We spend hours in front of the computer screen, and then we go and sit in church for an hour on Sunday and stare blankly into space there, too! (No offence,
Christians - I can only speak from my own experience not anybody else's)
With this in mind, Karma Office supplies Inc. introduces their new range of products, specifically aimed at making your workplace into a more spiritual place.
First, the office rosary. This is particularly useful while reading long documents, for example, or using design programs that are mostly mouse-based. Your left hand, which previously picked your nose, or fiddled with your hair, can now help you meditate as you work, flicking through the 'beads' of your new, Philippe Starck-designed Officary. To add a practical touch, the beads have been replaced with multi-coloured paperclips. The executive version (with Wi-fi and bluetooth built in) alternates paperclips with fake keys for sports cars that you don't own.
The ceiling-suspended Tibetan Prayer Wheel is also one of our big sellers. Simply suspend it in the warm updraft coming off your computer, and it will merrily spin away, generating prayers and good karma. Wind chime attachment optional (not such a big seller, that).
Finally, there's the Krishna many-handed desk tidy, which speaks for itself. Well, not literally - unless you believe in miracles <insert forced hearty laugh here>!
Thanks for taking the time to look round our product range. Don't forget to use your loyalty card! Our current special is at the 1,000 point level - cash your points in and we will help a little old lady across the road on your behalf!
Don't think of it as a dig at religion. Think of it as a meditation on the anodyne soullessness (is that a word?) of the workplace. With added God.