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A method to avoid mass extinction events via giant ostriches

....or how to avoid figuring personally in the next great extinction event
  (+2, -1)
(+2, -1)
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At some point another space rock will threaten a great extinction event, and whilst I might not exactly be shedding a tear over the Panda (and before His Borgness mentions felines..) I think most people would personally prefer to avoid it themselves.

Not wishing to reinvent the wheel, the last time mammals made it through is because the dinosaurs considerately took the hit for us. Regrettably, they are still no longer around, so I suggest a breeding program to see how large an ostrich can be bred and they can do the hanging around the impact zone for us. In particular, ostriches as they are quick on their feet, and so could be lured towards the impact site by converging trails of cookies, or something like that.

They would also serve a function in the other wing of the space rock vs life on Earth re-match by providing very large eggs . Eggs have a strong shell, suitable to be covered by iron filings mixed in with epoxy resin. The shells (strange coincidence, perhaps) could then be fired along a linear accelerator, to impact onto the rock, so causing it to lose velocity and (if you`ll forgive the abtruse technical expression) bugger off somewhere else.

not_morrison_rm, Jan 04 2012


       //The shells (strange coincidence, perhaps) could then be fired along a linear accelerator, to impact onto the rock//   

       A hard-boiled idea.
Klaatu, Jan 04 2012

       Now that you've explained it, it all seems so obvious...
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 04 2012

       So, nothing about sticking giant heads in the sand?
Ling, Jan 04 2012

       [marked-for-deletion] genetic engineering/magic
hippo, Jan 04 2012

       Incredibly badly researched? Bah! This is at least as good as the Journal of Irreproduceable Results.
RayfordSteele, Jan 04 2012

MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 04 2012

       Sounds like a shell game to me. Probably a [morrison] plan to feather his nest. Talk about flipping the bird...
normzone, Jan 04 2012

       //genetic engineering/magic//   

       But no,I used the word "breeding" as we've managed to get dogs to range from Chihuahua to Irish wolf hound sizes by the same method...so I see no magic. And a bit of a fowl suggestion that I might even consider GM magic.   

       I admit the research may be the tricky bit as I sadly lack any giant ostriches (...Craig Ventner sees dollar signs at this point..one drumstick could feed a family of four) and I suspect that many people would prefer it if I didn't actually get to monkey around with the trajectory of large rocks up there somewhere...cuts to huge mushroom cloud rising from where Milton Keynes used to be..."Ooops, sorry, had a decimal point in the wrong place"
not_morrison_rm, Jan 05 2012

       //I used the word "breeding" as we've managed to get dogs to range from Chihuahua to Irish wolf hound sizes by the same method//
Wouldn't it be simpler and cheaper to breed huge numbers (I'm talking passenger pigeon sized flocks, squared) of wren-sized ostriches?
AbsintheWithoutLeave, May 01 2012

       >(I'm talking passenger pigeon sized flocks, squared)   

       It'd take me hours to get 'em to flock in a square formation..one large ostrich tends to flock with itself, if you see what I mean.   

       and not single canard joke in there..
not_morrison_rm, May 01 2012

       Sorry, this one loses my enthusiasm. Not enough jam, bees, or rhinoceroses.
Alterother, May 01 2012

       I know, I looked at this and thought "who put this crap up here?" and then found it was me....
not_morrison_rm, May 03 2012


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