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Abandoned Lighthouse Nuclear Reactors

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Dotted around these sceptred isles are a good number of lighthouses, often in coastal locations.

Many of these lighthouses have stood for centuries, having been first conceived as evil eyes to scare off the French and other undesirables. Most of them continued to be maintained well into the 20th century, acting as warning and navigational beacons for ships. Many are, in fact, still operable, but nowadays use electric lighting.

Given that lighthouse keeping is no longer a job, it is clear that the only useful part of the lighthouse is the very top, which often quite some distance from the bottom. The intervening structure is now redundant.

At the same time, it is clear that nuclear power is the only sane way to produce electricity, at least until we stop panicking over global warming.

Some of the characteristics of nuclear reactors are as follows:

(a) Most people do not want to live near one.
(b) They need reliable access to coolant
(c) They are best built in areas not known for being earthquakey.

The inescapable conclusion, therefore, is that England's collection of sturdy, remote coastal lighthouses should be adapted to provide nuclear power.

MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 02 2016


       But where will you then hide all the ICBMs ? The "disused" mineshafts are already full to the brim with little green aliens ...
8th of 7, Sep 02 2016

       I suppose I could've done a better write-up with mine if I had put more than a minute of thought in it.
RayfordSteele, Sep 02 2016

       //But where will you then hide all the ICBMs ? //   

       Haven't you heard? In the event of a nuclear war, Wales slides back to reveal the launch tubes.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 02 2016


       sp. septic
not_morrison_rm, Sep 02 2016

       Abandoned Lighthouse Nudie Rectors: Quite often members of the priesthood are convicted of various sex crimes and need to be housed somewhere where they are being punished, but at the same time safe from attack from other inmates. What better than to maroon them in abandoned lighthouses?
xenzag, Sep 02 2016

       'You are the light of the world...'
RayfordSteele, Sep 02 2016

       Here's me thinking this would be a new stretched reactor with telescoping control rods. All across the country converted lighthouses everywhere will be rising to need of the power grid.
wjt, Sep 03 2016

       // Wales slides back to reveal the launch tubes. //   

       Can that be done now ? How credible does the threat need to be ? It does slide into the sea, doesn't it ?   

       It will of course be necessary to carefully preserve those portions containing narrow-gauge steam railways. The rest can be dumped.
8th of 7, Sep 03 2016

       I've always had difficulty reconciling your passion for steam engines with your role as part of a hegemonizing swarm, [8th]. Do Hornby sets work OK under microgravity in the cube? Do the other borgeois know about this, or is it a secret vice?
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 03 2016

       The locos with Magnadhesion do, but the rolling stock can be problematic. However, it's just a matter of adjusting the local synthetic gravity field, and making sure the track is properly pinned to the baseboard.   

       Decades ago, we assimilated a model train enthusiast. Just one, and only for a few minutes, until all the alarms went off ... but it was too late. We're only obsessive about dominating all other life forms in the galaxy, that doesn't even come close to the fanatical single-mindedness of an anorak-wearing train nerd who has just noticed that the porter's barrow in tonight's episode of Poirot was a GWR model only produced after 1933, and was allegedly on the platform of an LMS station in 1926. And the station master's hat only had two bands of braid, not three. And the "Way Out" sign was in the wrong font. And that type of composite carriage was only ever run at the back of the train, not behind the loco ... which had the wrong headlights for a stopping local passenger ... and the driver had the wrong colour of overalls ... and the fireman's shovel should have three rivets, not two, and the haft should be oiled elm, not varnished pine ...
8th of 7, Sep 03 2016

       Synthetic gravity? How vulgar.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 03 2016


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