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The holidays bring many festive displays, replete with merry elves, nativity scenes, bulb-lit snowmen, Santae etc. But sometimes a display is lacking that je ne sais quoi. Here at BUNGCO, we sais exactly quoi, and now you can too.
Introducing the All Purpose Add On Dixie Cup Genitals! These charming
genitals are roughly the shape and size of a semi-opaque plastic beer cup, and come in packs of 10 and 50. Any Jolly Santa would be proud to sport a set of these fine genitals, which can quickly be affixed with a piece of tape or a tack. At only $7 for a 50 pack, all the elves, snowmen, wise men and reindeer can each have a set as well. What's more, they are so cheap you can go back the next night and replace any that may have been removed during the day. Fill them with colored tinsel or glitter for added effect! You will have a well hung tree when you use the Add-On Dixie Cup Genitals as tree ornaments! Or use them as a handy mold to create a set entirely out of snow! Just one unit and a snowdrift can be used to decorate an entire front porch or car hood!
The Dixie Cup Genitals will find many uses throughout the rest of the year. Life-sized billboards in bus stations or store mannikins can always be improved with the surrpetitious addition of a set. How many of us here at BUNGCO have driven blithely around, not realizing we had a set of Dixie Cup Genitals hooked to the front grille - for weeks!
Letters from consumers have revealed (ahem) that the Dixie Cup Genitals can actually be worn as a sort of disposable underwear. Strap on the entire stack and perform a "Dance of the 50 Cups" for admiring friends! Last but not least, our clever engineers have designed the Dixie Cup genitals such that you can actually set them down on a table and fill them with eggnog, or the drink of your choice!
All purpose Add-On Dixie Cup Genitals
Dec 13 2004]
Bhutanese Wall Phallus
[calum, Dec 13 2004]
"What About Those Big Testicles?" [calum, Dec 13 2004]
[FarmerJohn, Dec 13 2004]
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||I think that should be "we savons exactly quoi".
||An excellent notion. For too long has the joyless Presbyterianism that underpins the English speaking world (and with it the Western notions of Christmas) supressed man's natural tendency to appreciate the wonder of the penis, forcing men to sublimate their penis worship into consumerist penis-replacement accoutrements such as cars and sausages and war.
||This idea will, by allowing future generations to associate the happiness of christmas with the unparalleled pleasures of having a cock *and* balls, doubtless raise the background level of sexual performance contentment among white males in NATO signatory countries the world over.
||[Calum] - although I appreciate your appreciation of the penis, BUNGCO would like to point out that the All purpose Add-on Dixie Cup Genitals do come in two genders.
||A notorious vote-pincher, I hope mine places a (ahem) whole croissant above.
||OH MY GOD!! [CALUM] IS ODIN!!!
||Moi?, Je comprendes bien!