Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
I like this idea, only I think it should be run by the government.

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Automatic Pet-Cat Feeding Machine

Make sure your cat is well fed when you’re busy
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My cat reminds me when I forget to feed it by meowing. I don’t mind feeding it, but I also have better things to do so, the Automatic Pet Cat Feeding Machine.

The machine has a shallow cup. Above the cup are two electrically charged metal plates. The plates are charged with a small step-up transformer to 35K volts, not enough to spark by themselves, but enough to discharge through an object that may pass between them with sufficient current to ignite a burnable object. An upper cover protects the plates and cup from rain and to prevent false strikes. Solar panels with suitable controls maintain a storage battery fully charged to avoid the need for a long wire to the house. Finally, a light sensor below the plate is connected to a bell to ring whenever an object falls from the plate onto the ground.

The machine works like this: The machine hangs from a branch in a tree near the house. A few grains of bird-feed are placed into the cup. The cat is fed by any local bird attracted to the cup with the bird-feed. As it flies into the machine, the metal plates discharge through the bird causing their feathers to burn as the shocked bird falls below past the light sensor to ring the bell. The bell attracts the cat to come and find a perfectly cooked, defeathered bird for dinner.

Meanwhile you can go on with your life. Since the bird will never get to the bird-seeds, the machine will last a long time. I would recommend changing the bird seeds every few years to maintain their attractiveness.

el dueno

el dueno, Jun 12 2008

Bird Trap And Cat Feeder http://www.delphion...ils?pn=US04150505__
Patent #4150505 [supercat, Jun 13 2008]

How much do cats kill http://theoatmeal.c.../cats_actually_kill
2/3 of a kill, on average, per domesticated and properly fed cat. [Voice, Feb 26 2015]

[link]






       You could just stun the bird instead. That will keep the cat busy waiting for the next falling, flopping and flailing eatable toy with feathers. Hmmm, any way we can get it to attract those nasty pigeons that haunt me so?
CwP, Jun 12 2008
  

       sorry, it only works on *real* not imaginary creatures.
FlyingToaster, Jun 13 2008
  

       Something similar to this was part of a Tool Time skit on Home Improvements.
Tim Allen built a bird house three feet off the ground and called it a combination bird-slash-cat feeder.
  

       I can hardly wait for the Automatic Pet-Dog Feeding Machine.   

       In the US, it's illegal to intentionally kill wild birds, unless you're selective (ducks, in season, for example). Except for, maybe, pigeons -- I haven’t read bird electrocution statutes lately.   

       A burnt bird doesn’t seem very appetizing. But if you just kill it, the cat might eat it, feathers and all, provided you time it to occur in the presence of the cat, and you're starving the poor kitty. How many birds will a cat eat each day?
Amos Kito, Jun 13 2008
  

       Sounds like some experimentation may be in order. Count me out.
ye_river_xiv, Jun 13 2008
  

       //Automatic Pet-Cat Feeding Machine// to larger carnivorous animals?
Ling, Jun 13 2008
  

       Hopefully.   

       #include <EOSSACR.H>;
8th of 7, Jun 13 2008
  

       I have built a cat feeder that dependences a serving of cat food 2 times a day. It will run for a month on a 8kg bag of food.   

       It might be a little more legal.
dev45, Jun 16 2008
  

       For elderly, toothless cats, I suggest replacing the electrocution device with the ever popular claymore mine, coupled with a plastic catch basin placed at an appropriate distance to collect the resulting pigeon puree.   

       BTW, it is legal to kill "wild" pigeons in most areas of the US, as they are considered a "nuisance animal," although the laws are different in some states. Mostly the laws have to do with how you can kill them, not whether or not you can kill them.
Alterother, Jun 16 2008
  

       Ahh, what is a cat but a wingless, beakless, featherless furry pigeon with four legs ?
8th of 7, Jun 16 2008
  

       I think I like Tim Allen's design on Home Improvements. Wild Kingdom in my own back yard appeals to me.
CwP, Jun 16 2008
  

       My cat kills his own birds. And mice. And moles.
nomocrow, Jun 16 2008
  

       What's wrong with making a timed vending machine or something?
Bad Jim, Jun 16 2008
  

       [Bad Jim] That is not only no-fun but is already baked. I have timed dog and fish feeding machines. I have even built one of my fish feeding machines. Of course with fish being cold blooded, if you forget to fill the machine, you only loose one fish at a time… I always wanted a kid feeding machine but now that the kids are older, they ARE the kid feeding machine. Now I need a time lock on the fridge!
CwP, Jun 17 2008
  
      
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