Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Bite me.

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.



Bad Remake Reduction Regulation

Bad Remakes plague Hollywood -- we can stop them
  (+12, -2)(+12, -2)
(+12, -2)
  [vote for,

Do the film remakers have anything creatively vital to add to these films, or is it just due to a lack of new ideas? Or what?


Gus Van Sant's Psycho. Hello? Shot-for-shot remake? what's the point?

Rollerball. OH KILL ME! They are going to DESTROY what made this film so brilliant. BOYCOTT THIS ONE.

Heaven Can Wait. You know what I think? Someone in mid-production on Down to Earth realized it was the same story as the Warren Beatty classic, so they all bit their knuckles until some key grip or gaffer or other said, "Just tell the media it's a remake."

There are scores of examples. Not the least of which are the many horrible remakes into English by Hollywood of great foreign films. (Anyone have any more examples?)

So I propose that Hollywood adopt the following regulation (or have this regulation enforced on it) regarding remakes:


I guarantee this will mercifully cut down on bad remakes!

globaltourniquet, Apr 14 2001

McKellen (1995) IMDB: 7.6 http://us.imdb.com/Title?0114279
[trixie, Feb 16 2002]

Olivier (1954) IMDB: 7.5 http://us.imdb.com/Title?0049674
[trixie, Feb 16 2002]


       (by the way, for those of you who may wish to lambaste my comment on a technicality, I am well aware that Beatty's Heaven Can wait is itself a remake. I do believe however that it is one of the few that could stand the double-feature regulation -- along with 12 Mokeys/La Jette... which brings up another subject: successful remakes -- any input?)
globaltourniquet, Apr 15 2001

       This will also get a lot of the good originals back onto the big screen. I like it.
wiml, Apr 15 2001

       Definitely a good idea. The same standard should be applied to sequels too.
The only half decent remake I can think of is A Fistful of Dollars, which was a remake of Yojimbo.
DrBob, Apr 15 2001

       Studios are interested in one thing: Bottom Line. Of course, that includes creative bookkeeping to keep percentage players from making money. If we build it, they will come. If we duplicate it, they'll come to that too-AND we'll have more sales Internationally, videos, DVDs, cable...
thumbwax, Apr 15 2001

       "Rollerball" was brilliant?
StarChaser, Apr 15 2001

       If you saw Rollerball when you were too young to appreciate it for its brilliance, I suggest you see it again. The new one will destroy the mood and the metaphor of the original. You can tell by just looking at the damn web site.   

       And yes, it was brilliant. James Caan's almost inaudible soft-spokenness contributed to the quiet intesity of the non-action scenes, which when contrasted with the loud frenzy of the action scenes proved more intense, and underscored the corporatations' idea that you can bottle, package and control people's thirst for blood and not worry about them outside the gladiator's arena. Of course, I could go on about this tremendous film....   

       As for all of those foreign remakes, even only a couple of those you mentioned were worth making. Perhaps Cape Fear and the Birdcage (but I didn't see La Cage aux Folles, so I can't comment on that). I agree that the lack of recognition to the originals is a travesty, and that is why this idea is a good one.
globaltourniquet, Apr 15 2001

       I saw it a couple of months ago.   

       '"Rollerball" was brilliant?' It's roller derby with motorcycles...there was something claiming to be a plot around the roller derby, but it didn't really connect with anything...
StarChaser, Apr 15 2001

       Unabubba, the writers of La Totale were actually given story credit for True Lies.
mrkillboy, Apr 16 2001

       I don't know what you people are talking about. I'm just dying for someone to remake "Point Break."
1percent, Apr 16 2001

       (I am a lover of great film, favorites include such geniuses as Jim Jarmusch, Terry Gilliam, David Lynch, John Sayles, Stanley Kubrick and such, AND I consider Norman Jewison's Rollerball a great film -- so stick that in your cupholder.)   

       (Now, happily moving on from the Rollerball tangent...)   

       There seems to be general agreement that this is a good idea. Now, is it anywhere near possible to implement? Or is that a question we aren't supposed to ask here?
globaltourniquet, Apr 16 2001

       I think remakes should be strongly discouraged as well...do we -really- need Yet Another remake of 'Prince and Pauper'?
StarChaser, Apr 16 2001

       Remake seems to connotate "waiting at least 15-20 years after the original, then use the same storyline and script and do it again".   

       If that is so, then what does the Home Alone series fit under? They wait, let's see, what, 18 months before remaking [beating dead horse] it again?
Wes, Apr 17 2001

       Gone in 60 Seconds was a remake, and though i haven't been able to track down the original in any video store, i imagine it's probably much better than the under-budgetted original.
tkeyser, Apr 17 2001

       Something I was dissapointed with the Gone in 60 Seconds remake was that they didn't attempt to include the 40 minute car chase, nor the 93 cars destroyed in 90 minutes that was apparently in the original.   

       A DVD review I read also claims that parts of this chase can be seen in The Blues Brothers!
mrkillboy, Apr 17 2001

       As a Science Fiction fan (although though one retired from formal fandom) I probably ought to say that Rollerball is comparable to Soylent Green and Silent Running.
Aristotle, Apr 17 2001

       ...i.e mostly pants, but with some entertaining moments.

Actually, thinking about it, the BBC have sort of taken globaltourniquet's idea on board. Whenever a big expensive re-make comes out, they do tend to show the original movie beforehand. In a purely 'jumping on the bandwagon' sort of way, of course.
DrBob, Apr 17 2001

       A good remake double bill is Excalibur and Monty Python's Holy Grail.
Aristotle, Apr 17 2001

       DrBob, we have seen that phenomenon somewhat here as well, where the networks tend to jump on reshowings of originals for current big Hollywood remakes, but that really only applies to the big grossers. I think they need to be shown side-by-side, in the theatre.
globaltourniquet, Apr 17 2001

       Au contraire, ItsMan. It's the ever expanding middle classes, with more money than sense, that are the problem if you ask me (which you didn't).
DrBob, Apr 17 2001

       Class isn't the issue. I'm certain that even the relatively poor fall into that category -- more money than sense -- and they will all conspire to ruin my love for Rollerball just because they want to see L.L. Cool J smash people's heads in with a heavy steel ball. Sheesh!
globaltourniquet, Apr 17 2001

       (not to mention the filthy rich...)
globaltourniquet, Apr 17 2001

       M (1931, Fritz Lang) - M (1951, Jospeh Losey) Cousin, Cousine (1975, Jean-Charles Tacchella)- Cousins (1989, Joel Schumacher) Nikita (1990, Luc Besson) - The Assassin (or Point of No Return, 1993, John Badham) L'homme qui aimait les femmes (1977) - The Man Who Loved Women (1983, Blake Edwards) Les Fugitifs (1986, Francis Veber) - Three Fugitives (1989, Francis Veber) Pepe le Moko (1937, Julien Duvivier) - Algiers (1938, John Cromwell) Cyrano de Bergerac (France 1945 then US 1950 then US as Roxanne in 1987 then France again in 1990!) oh and the recently released Vanilla Sky is a remake of Alejandro Amenabar's 1997 Abre los Ojos but I presume you already knew that.
sinatra_blue_eyes, Feb 14 2002

       The Man Who Knew Too Much (Alfred Hitchcock 1934 / Alfred Hitchcock 1956).
sirrobin, Feb 15 2002

       // The thing which really annoys me is the remakes where no recognition is given to the original film or writers,//   

       For some of the examples you gave, the title of the remake is an almost direct translation of the original. I will admit some are changed interestingly, though, e.g. "The big blond-haired man with one black shoe".   

       From sinatra's list, some near-exact translations are "Male cousin, female cousin", "The man who loved women", "The fugitives"
supercat, Feb 15 2002

       Steven Soderbergh is in the process of remaking Solaris. I really hope he does it well.
-alx, Feb 15 2002

       Very good idea!!!! Remake are made by bone heads with no original material of there own.
Turkish, Feb 15 2002

       And they don't care - they're only in it for the money.
thumbwax, Feb 15 2002

       Remaking something like Solaris or Cyrano de Bergerac, which are based on books or plays, is different to remaking original films. After all, no one complains if you restage a play, so why should re-filming one be any different? Often-filmed books like Anna Karenin are close to plays in that respect.
pottedstu, Feb 15 2002

       Some remakes are better. IMDB lists 10 versions of, eg: "Richard III," none of which run the full four hours that Shakespeare wrote. Ian McKellen, from the "winter of discontent" to "a horse, a horse" beats over-rated Larry hands-down.   

       And speaking of Shakespeare, do the producers of stage plays need to distrubute ponies of "Decameron" with the playbills?
trixie, Feb 16 2002

       Given the horrible pile of bad remakes and sequels we've had to endure this year, I thought it was fitting to resurrect this idea. Of note: the studio that remade "The Italian Job" this year just released it on DVD, and you can buy a boxed set with the old version too. So at least in the DVD world this is being baked. (WTAGIPBAN)
krelnik, Oct 08 2003


back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle