Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Bagel Segregator

Segregation, for bagels (and donuts)
  [vote for,

Every Friday my company buys bagels and donuts. They come in these large donut boxes like 24"x18". The stupid retard at the bakery shop takes all the donuts and bagels and just crams them all into the same frigging box. This causes different species of bagels and donuts to touch and transfer their specific characteristics to other bagels and donuts. For instance, a plain bagel crammed next to an onion bagel becomes partially onion-ated. A sesame bagel stuffed next to a chocolate donut becomes a sesame-chocolate bagel. So when I go to get my *plain* bagel, I have to spend time and clean/scrape all the onion shit and donut glazing from the surface of my bagel, because I want a *plain* bagel, not a sugar-onion-chocolate bagel.

Since it would be too much of a mental strain for the retard at the bakery to learn to keep the bagels separate, I propose new boxes for the bakery to use. These boxes have "slots", like the boxes that bottled beer comes in, or like those old ice-cube trays from days of yore. Each slot is large enough to fit a bagel or donut. So when you fill the box, you just fill the slots. All the bagels stay separate. Everybody is happy.

DeathNinja, Aug 01 2003

[DN] and his gift horse http://www.aims.ca/...gift/Pics/horse.gif
<grumbling>complaining about his free bagels and donuts why I otta...</grumbling> [Worldgineer, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]


       Wow, [DeathNinja], I never figured you for a picky type!
k_sra, Aug 01 2003

       aaaaannd relax [DeathNinja].
neilp, Aug 01 2003

       (true story) As a teenager, my girlfriend knew this girl who had a life-threatening allergy to... uh, it was either poppy seeds or sesame seeds, I forget. Anyway, she died from eating a plain bagel that, for whatever reason, had some of the offending stuff in it.   

       Terrible thing, yeah, but if you were that allergic to something commonly found in bagel shops, wouldn't you just avoid bagels altogether?
snarfyguy, Aug 01 2003

       //retard at the bakery// whoooaa - living dangerously there DN and what k_sra said.   

       mind you I have some sympathy...
po, Aug 01 2003

       Your company buys bagels and donuts?! Wow.
hazel, Aug 01 2003

       You have to understand that I'm generally a very tolerant person. This is proven daily, as evidenced by the lack of dead bodies. But when you mess with my free weekly bagel, you've crossed the line.
DeathNinja, Aug 01 2003

       Bagels should be given medals of honor for being boiled,baked,fried,and micro'd and still be happy to be eaten by picky people.
pig, Aug 01 2003

       //one with this carbunkle hebner growing off of it.// Carbunkle hebner ??! Waaaah!
bungston, Aug 01 2003

       I hope your carbuncles dont have rickets,or my bagel may be more spicey than desired
pig, Aug 01 2003

       Yeah, but it's only 9/13th rant. +
thumbwax, Aug 02 2003

       Would the powdered donuts start to shun the chocolate-covered ones? Would the chocolate donuts be forced to the back of the package? If one was misplaced, would a jelly-filled demand that it take over its spot? I see bagel discrimination lawsuits, donut brotherhood rallies, churches where only white donuts are served, riots, donut profiling, bagels powdering themselves white, flaming hot cross buns at Tim Hortons...
RayfordSteele, Aug 08 2003

       Bubby, you can buss my bagel anytime.
bungston, Aug 08 2003

       if jammed in there too quickly, i can forsee problems involving frosting being scraped off of donuts. And what about those long donut elcair things?
foggy, Jul 12 2004


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