Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Barnyard Waterslide

  [vote for,

Rather than have the herds just standing around plotting insurrection, a waterslide can provide entertainment and exercise. Put those rolling hills to use and turn those fat rolls to lean, tasty muscle.
FlyingToaster, May 26 2014

animals on the internet http://blog.ted.com...ruled-the-internet/
maybe there should be animal maker faires [JesusHChrist, May 30 2014]


       But lean meat is more profitable.   

       Mostly I just want a herd of cows lined up on the path up the hill, waiting their turn to go down the slide and splash into the pond.
FlyingToaster, May 26 2014

       How do you get cows to go down a waterslide?   

       For one thing, I think they'd need to be trained. If they just stepped onto it, their hooves would slip and they'd fall on their rump roasts before going down. Probably not something they'd want to repeat. So you'd have to train them to sit and scootch themselves down, just like we do. That's a pretty well trained cow.   

       I like the idea of cows going down waterslides in principal, I'm just fuzzy on the details such as how and why.
doctorremulac3, May 26 2014

       <completely irrelevant aside> I have tried something similar to what I imagined from the title. In my early skydiving days (ie when I was thinner and more single), I once misjudged things and was about to land downwind (bad) on a disused runway (hard) on which the airfield owner/farmer had stacked two large piles of steel girders (painful).   

       There was about a 5ft gap between the two piles of girders, but on the near side of that gap was a large pile of festering manure, also left there by the owner/farmer. After about 1 second of thought I aimed for the gap. The result was that I slid on my arse into, through, and out of the muck heap, clearing the girders by about a foot either side. I think I made the right choice, but only by a narrow margin.   

MaxwellBuchanan, May 26 2014

       //How do you get cows to go down a waterslide? //   

       I figger get the pigs hooked on it first, show the cows how much fun it is.
FlyingToaster, May 26 2014

       If you could make this work, it would make rounding them up for slaughter that much easier.   

       Don't bother trying to train the full grown animals. they will likely injure themselves. But if you start with the young ones, they are generally more playful and less prone to injury during a fall. If they grow up sliding, they'll have the technique refined enough by the time they are big that they won't hurt themselves. Hopefully the adults will teach the kids, so all you'll need to do is keep the slide in working order.
scad mientist, May 27 2014

       Install a people mover, call it a cow mover, toss their lazy asses up on it, and teach them to have fun. It is, after all, a teachable skill. My daughter taught me, I know.
blissmiss, May 28 2014

       Would be helpful to have someone keep an eye on this waterslide activity.   

       I imagine David Heifferhoff and Pamoola Anderson might fit the bill.   

       <slinks back under a rock>
not_morrison_rm, May 28 2014

       ^ Haywatch
FlyingToaster, May 28 2014

       You can lead a cow to water... but you can't make them think.   

       If the cows were in and lolling around the pond and the bulls were placed on the hillside just above the slide they would probably be your first customers even if the cows weren't wearing lipstick.
cudgel, May 29 2014

       Udderly ridiculous....
not_morrison_rm, May 29 2014

       You gotta beef with that?
normzone, May 30 2014

       I don't want to carp on about it.   

       Hang on, that's a fish...   

       whatever, they are all vertebrates.
not_morrison_rm, May 30 2014

       //cow mover//   

       Sp: cow moover.
AusCan531, May 30 2014

       I stand corrected. Moodos to you.
blissmiss, May 30 2014

       It might behoove us to find some way to hide this idea. I've got no stake in it.
normzone, May 30 2014

       Just don't let the horses go down. I'd hate to have to shoot 'em.
RayfordSteele, Jun 01 2014


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