h a l f b a k e r y
Like gliding backwards through porridge.
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A vert ramp skateboarding form that favours the incompetent.
If anybody else with my degree of balance and coordination can remember trying to skateboard as a child this will probably be easier for them to understand.
When trying to skateboard as a child (just before giving up) I found that if I leant too far towards one end of the board it had a tendency to
shoot out from under me and leave on my face. I also noticed that the board usually covered quite a bit of ground when this happened; some years later, while watching skating on TV, I put these 2 things together and conceived BoardAir- a skating form that marries the concept of getting 'air' on a vert-ramp with my inability to stay on a skateboard.
The principle is thus- the skater rides the vert ramp as normal, except that when they reach a point where they're travelling vertically up the ramp they fall off the back of the skateboard in the manner previously described. This will (hopefully) launch the skateboard up and off the top of the ramp where it can achieve some 'air' before returning to earth. The competitors are scored on the amount of 'air' the board achieves and style, in terms of how uncoordinated their effort was, with bonus points given according to the personal injury compensation value of any injuries they sustain. More bonus points can be gained when the board lands, again with the compensation value of any injuries sustained by third parties or double if the competitor is injured by their own board. If no injuries are sustained by any third parties then bonus points can be earned according to the value of any damage caused by the board to the property of any third party.
When I came up with this idea, I felt it would be interesting to formulate an alternative to the extreme sport ideal of risking injury by actually promoting it.
||Reading that a few days after writing it makes me realise how much the writing style sounds like an insurance policy :S