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Camera/GPS/DNA Alarm

 Guaranteed to find the bad guy AND your car.
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When a rule-breaking thief attempts to get into your car, cameras hidden inside the car flash an image of the thief. Then, a GPS system is activated to locate the car. Finally, small needles are hidden in the steering wheel to open up a wound on the fingers of the thief, so later DNA analysis can be used to locate them if they ditch the car.
—Pocketassreturn, May 03 2004

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       MAYBE I SHOULD!!! But that's not a good enough excuse.   

         

       Just kidding.
—Pocketassreturn, Jun 05 2004
   

       // a rule-breaking thief //   

       Would this system deter other types of thieves?   

       Can you explain how the system would differentiate between thieves and the genuine owner? I for one would not be pleased if my car's steering wheel suddenly send needles into my hand!   

       Assuming that you could overcome this objection I forsee another issue - you only have access to the gathered DNA if the car is recovered. Obviously the GPS would help with this but how will the thief react when (s)he gets spiked by the needles? Probably by torching the car in an empty car park! I'm assuming this would destroy the DNA evidence.   

       All-in-all I can see potential in this idea but the practicalities require more consideration so I'll reserve both my bone and my bread for now.
—dobtabulous, Jun 09 2004
   

       How does having the crook's DNA aid you in "locating" him?
—Tabbyclaw, Jul 18 2004
   

       With the current size of SUVs, you could easily include an onboard mini DNA lab to extract the relevant data, and then use a cellular modem to pass on the information to the crime labs. The feds have been angling for a bigger DNA database, so they'll likely appreciate the effort immensely.   

       However, reliable owner-recognition software will indeed be essential.
—ye_river_xiv, Sep 30 2007
   

       The DNA could be collected by a set of hair clippers that protrude from the headrest. Only Lex Luthor would be able to steal your car.
—marklar, Sep 30 2007
   

       The camera texting you a picture of whoever is messing with your car is actually a really good idea.
—GutPunchLullabies, Sep 30 2007
   


 

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