Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Carnivore Justification

Because I'm tired of vegetarians telling me I'm a bad person and having no response.
  (+4, -7)
(+4, -7)
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Having attended art school for a long long time, I've caught a lot of flak for my cruel and ravenous abuse of the furry and cuddly species of this planet. While far be it from me to ridicule needlessly those who make a moral stand against meat eating or those who simply don't like meat, I feel that the same grace should be granted us who feel that cows are just too big, tasty or stupid NOT to eat. What we meat eaters need is a moral reason which would provide us with ammunition with which to protect us from those who try to guilt us for our eating habits.

To that end, I propose a Society for the Protection of Flora. SPF propaganda could include nude supermodels on billboards with the slogan "Cotton is Murder" and sit-in campaigns to stop lawnmowers. "Cows are murderers! That's why it's o.k. for us to eat them. Long Live Plants!"

BTW, my main motive in writing this was to bump off a certain pot-queef post. HA!

Voltmeter, Nov 05 2004


       Without people, cows would be extinct. They would die within a week from not being milked, and they cannot give birth without human intervention. And for performing the great task of making sure that their kind survives, what do we humbly ask for in exchange? Their tasty, tasty flesh.   

       Besides, if you eat plants, you're killing living creatures too. Plants in farm fields suffer much more than animals in factory farms. Just because they don't have a face doesn't mean that all living things aren't equal.   

       Eat and be eaten. That's the name of the game.   

       BTW if you're a guy, don't date a vegan. They don't swallow.
lawpoop, Nov 05 2004

       LoL [lawpoop].
Voltmeter, Nov 05 2004

       I eat cows because they taste better than people.
brodie, Nov 05 2004

       And just how would you know that...?
DrCurry, Nov 06 2004

       <nothing to do with [brodie]'s comment>
Two words, canine teeth. Say it with me kids Cay-Nine.

       Omnivore teeth, actually.
lintkeeper2, Nov 06 2004

zen_tom, Nov 06 2004


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