Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Centralized Cattle Mutilation Corral

Let them have the lesser cuts of beef and leave us with the USDA Prime.
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Just for all the cattle ranchers in southern Colorado who periodically lose cattle to those pesky aliens, here's the Centralized Cattle Mutilation Corral! All the southern Colorado ranchers take their sick and scrawny head of cattle to a central location, a big corral near Walsenburg. These cattle will be offered up as a sacrifice, so that the aliens (or conversely, the Fiendish Satanic Black Government Helicopters) will leave the rest of their stock alone.

The problem is in getting the aliens (or the FSBGH) to use the central corral. In the first place, it's convenient; no running all over Colorado necessary, just go to the Corral. But how to attract them in the first place? Maybe a big "WELCOME" sign with a spaceship (or FSBGH) on it. Maybe "BUFFET" will do the trick. Or "OUR FINEST SPECIMENS." Not that that would fool them, of course. . . . Maybe "COMING SOON--ANOTHER RUTH'S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE" . . . .

deacon, May 16 2001


       Do people still complain about cattle being 'mutilated by aliens'?
hippo, May 17 2021

       I think the Aliens they have given up on that. They used the results, along with covid vaccine space rays, to create the new super-idiot breed of Trump voters. With this generation, the seeds of America’s demise are now fully in place, and for the time being, American cattle need only fear the infusions of hormones and other toxins to make them suitable for beef burgers etc.
xenzag, May 17 2021


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