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No lengthy check-in times..
No messing around with seat numbers..
Breeze security..... join the queue.... next thing you're flying through the channel tunnel thanks to the largest man-catapult ever invented.
This is a truly no-fuel environmentally friendly travel solution...
[link]
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A giant airgun would be better. |
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// A giant airgun would be better // |
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And with a means to join both tunnels at their ends, with
simultaneous launching the air rushing ahead of each launch
would feed the launch going the opposite direction. Sort of a
recycled air gun. |
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Yeah, like, how green is THAT ? |
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Shirley the channel tunnel can be retrofitted with hyperloop
technology? Oh, wait, Britain and France got out of projects
that risked instilling pride, inspiring a generation,
generating spin-off tech or building an unrivaled expertise
base when the Concorde production lines closed. |
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Why not just squash the prospective traveller and bury their remains. Pretend they have been instantly transported to France. The rest of the excited queue won't cotton on to the scam until it's too late. |
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The problem is that the channel tunnel is not
parabolic. Therefore, you have two choices: |
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(a) Fire people at something close to orbital velocity,
so they don't touch the floor on the way over |
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(b) Polish the floor really, really well and let the
passengers skip-slide the whole way. |
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//I think the person should always be shouting which
queue they were shot from, continuously, as they
come in to land.// |
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//The problem is that the channel tunnel is not parabolic.
Therefore, you have two choices:// |
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Golf balls take on a much flatter trajectory if they are given
sufficient backspin. It's called the Magnus effect if I
remember correctly. If the people were fired at a very high
velocity, the rotation speed could be kept in the
comfortable 100's of RPM. |
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So, squash them into hermetically-sealed rigid spherical containers before launch ? |
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Yes, that seems entirely reasonable, and far more comfortable than travelling business class on british airways ... besides, what could possibly go wrong ? |
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You have never been able to afford business class,
have you, [8th]? |
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// never been able to afford business class // |
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On the contrary; it's simply that there are almost no aircraft with more than four good seats* (indeed many have only one or two), and they are invariably the ones at the front, with the best view. |
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Sitting in the back with the livestock is deeply unattractive. |
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*The exception being the Avro Lancaster; while the seat right at the back may be cold, draughty and somewhat isolated, the occupant gets both a magnificent view and four .303 Browning machine guns to play with. |
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1. Stuff travellers into a pod the same diameter as the tunnel. |
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2. Attach cartridge filled with high explosive to rear of pod. |
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3. Insert into tunnel, seal this end, detonate. |
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Depending on the size of the charge, you could land anywhere from Belgium to Bulgaria. Might need to add rifling to the tunnel walls for accuracy. |
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// land anywhere from Belgium to Bulgaria. // |
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There's really no good option there, is there ? The lucky ones will be those who die at launch. |
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// The lucky ones will be those who die at launch // |
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I like your optimism - implying that a non-zero percentage of travellers will survive. |
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Hmmm, this could work if you had a passenger compartment
which sealed well to the chunnel walls. Load up the
passengers, then fire them to the other end compressing the
air in front of it. |
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Once the unit reaches the other side a latch mechanism
grasps the unit long enough for passengers to disembark and
new ones get in for the return journey. The previously
compressed air would only need a slight topping up to
reverse the process. |
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Powerful suction and compressed air are the same thing. It's
all about frame of reference. |
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You've clearly never had a blow job. |
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If you use compressed air, I suspect the effects will be
permanent. |
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