Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Clown dentists

Amalgamate popular phobias into one easy to fear focus
  [vote for,

Many people are afraid of clowns, others of dentists. Then there are people afraid of snakes, spiders, buttons, public speaking, heights, dogs and flying. Despite being able to see the irrationality of others' phobias, we are ourselves unable to detach themselves from our own irrationality.

Consequently, i propose a rather sadistic new profession, and make it a criminal offence not to use them: clown dentistry. Dentists dressed as clowns with lots of buttons on their costumes practice dentistry in microlight aircraft with living snakes and spiders as their instruments while the patient has to shout through a megaphone at a crowd of people walking particularly vicious-looking dogs on the mountain top below them. That way, we get to amalgamate our phobias and get over them, and understand each other in that respect.

I'm not being heartless. I have a couple of phobias and i recognise their irrationality.

At the very least, there should be clown dentists whose practices are awash with snakes and tarantulas.

nineteenthly, Feb 13 2010

clown doctors---- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clown_Care
[xandram, Feb 13 2010]

(?) clown doctors photo http://www.kikuthec...a/clown_doctors.jpg
[xandram, Feb 13 2010]

evil clowns for [Ian] and fear of clowns... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evil_clown
[xandram, Feb 13 2010]

Implosion therapy http://www.springer...t/113746470nx8t644/
[mouseposture, Feb 13 2010]

Assassin psychiatrist http://www.youtube....watch?v=w_bxkVFK3Wc
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Feb 13 2010]

Clown dentist masks http://1.bp.blogspo.../dentistmasks03.jpg
[leinypoo13, Feb 13 2010]


       Yes regulate dentists forcing them to be aversive as possible, so they will have to lower their fees or even pay people to practice their tooth pulling trade.
rcarty, Feb 13 2010

       Thanks, [duckdodgers], i like. I also wonder if you had enough scary stuff going on at once, you'd just sort of tune it all out and you'd be fine.   

       I also like the idea of dentists paying people, not that i have anything against dentists i encounter, but then i think i should pay my patients too.
nineteenthly, Feb 13 2010

       Part of my dislike of them is that i want them to be a medical speciality rather than a separate profession than doctors. I'm looking forward to my heart disease avidly.   

       However, yes, clown dentists on a plane would allow the cabin to be filled with dogs too.
nineteenthly, Feb 13 2010

       Hmm, Patch Adams?
nineteenthly, Feb 13 2010

       True, and possibly he'd be making work for one of his trades through the other.   

       [Mouseposture], thanks for the link and that was my thought exactly.
nineteenthly, Feb 13 2010

       Think of the children ........ MUHWHAHAHAHAHAH !
8th of 7, Feb 13 2010

       Clearly the approach there should be to prevent children from becoming afraid of clowns by associating dentistry with circuses. It's what Juvenal would've wanted.
nineteenthly, Feb 13 2010

       19thly, you have upset my very existence with this idea. You now, off to the oral surgeon...or shall we say the non-oral surgeon? ( Mime in scrubs waiting to remove your ailing tooth.)   

       There, put that in your dream spinner and go to sleep tonight, you evil doer you.
blissmiss, Feb 13 2010

       But...I've only got two phobias left; stage fright and death, and this helps neither.
Public execution seems a bit extreme though so maybe I'll just keep them.

       [Blissmiss], for some reason i keep putting off that appointment, and i have of course entirely rational justifications for that, honest! As it happens, it doesn't need removing! Really, that's what the guy in the white smock said.   

       So, death and stage fright? Maybe make a feature film on the plane as it plummets to the ground. That ought to do it, [fries].
nineteenthly, Feb 13 2010

       Clearly some of the odder collection of links, heh.
blissmiss, Feb 13 2010

       Yes, implosion therapy, then _really_ freaky masks, then explosion therapy. Beautifully symmetrical.
nineteenthly, Feb 13 2010

       You mean your dentists don't normally dress up as clowns? I think I need to review my insurance policy...
RayfordSteele, Feb 14 2010

       Maybe they're just clowning in their own time.   

       Looking at the links makes me wonder what happens if your humour is different than the doctor's. Does it work as well? Shouldn't there also be Pythonesque and "Doctor In The House" -style specialisms?
nineteenthly, Feb 14 2010

       Is it possible to have an irrational fear of irrational fears? If so, then I've got that one.   

       But to add to the clown dentist scenario, can they figure out a way of scheduling the appointments such that the patients are always late?
zen_tom, Jan 19 2018

       // Is it possible to have an irrational fear of irrational fears? //   


       It is, however, impossible to have a phobia of (for example) venomous snakes, or tigers, or crocodiles, since they are extremely dangerous and fear of them is perfectly rational. Indeed, if you are a resident of a rural area in numerous parts of your planet, the lack of such a necessary and protective fear would be an abberation.   

       It is possible to have an irrational fear of a threat in circumstances where such a threat has a vanishingly small probability of existing. However, one day there may indeed be a rattlesnake hiding behind the tinned anchovies in Waitrose, and then you're in trouble...
8th of 7, Jan 19 2018

       Not as bad as clown proctologists.
doctorremulac3, Jan 19 2018

       A clown proctologist hiding behind the tinned anchovies in Waitrose would indeed be terrifying ...
8th of 7, Jan 19 2018

       // can they figure out a way of scheduling the appointments such that the patients are always late? //   

       Hmm, I think if their clocks were all fast that would work for the first appointment, but if there was another one it would mean they might be on time. It could advance by the same interval on the second occasion but that could also be learned, so I think staging accidents and placing obstacles on the way might be a better approach.
nineteenthly, Jan 19 2018


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