Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Crying Porn

First a porn, then a mystery.
  (+19, -5)(+19, -5)
(+19, -5)
  [vote for,

This is like normal porn in that the stars meet, have an awkward chat, cue music, have sex etc.

Except that in this new genre of porn, in the middle of the sex act, the guy or girl withdraws from sex and begins to cry, to the utter bewilderment of the participating partner.

They then have a thirty minute silence-laden chat exploring, why that person withdrew from the sex act, complete with statements like:

"Sorry, Is it something, I was doing?"

"Do you just want to cuddle?"

And responses like:

"I just can't do this anymore."

"I don't think I love you."

This is repeated ad nauseum in different scenarios and no one ever climaxes.

leinypoo13, Aug 12 2008

Youtube search for "crying fetish" http://www.youtube....2&search_type=&aq=f
Rare, but not nonexistant. [jutta, Aug 12 2008]

Rule 34 http://www.urbandic...ne.php?term=Rule+34
Less a rule, more of an axiom. [4whom, Aug 13 2008]

Rule 34 Porn http://i32.photobuc...4/rule34-itself.jpg
If there's one thing that internet weirdos can be counted on for, it's recursion. [hidden truths, Aug 14 2008]

XKCD cartoon http://xkcd.com/305/
"If you can imagine it, there is porn of it..." [hippo, Aug 15 2008]


       This would be huge for the Hallmark channel.
bungston, Aug 13 2008

       Not the same, but brings to mind the crying-while-eating and beautiful agony websites.
normzone, Aug 13 2008

       I'm disturbed by this.
futurebird, Aug 13 2008

       If it's a crying fetish, why must sex (or something approaching sex) be involved?
phundug, Aug 13 2008

       I think you're right [rcarty] - this is a form of ironic anti-porn.
phundug, Aug 13 2008

       Wow, [norm] - cryingwhileeating.com - just when you thought the internet couldn't get any weirder...   

       [leinypoo] - I suspect this is one of these ideas that you either get or don't. I don't.
wagster, Aug 13 2008

       Instead of being a marketed, segment specific product, Crying Porn should be a manifestation of a grass-roots level campaign by porn-workers to freak the shit out of consumers of porn by showing, however crudely, that sex is an emotional act, rather than just a cartoonish pandering to the "emotion" of fuckwant.
calum, Aug 13 2008

       So, this is just film of married people?   

shapu, Aug 13 2008

       So you seem to get your rocks off by seeing someone else not get any? I think that explains why all those gamekillers and cockblockers do what they do.
WhereYouAt, Aug 13 2008

       [WhatYouAbout] I doubt it - it sounds as though this episode is more autobiographical than you give [leinypoo13] credit.   

       I think this porn should also feature months of them living in the same house, clinging on to a sour and mutually destructive relationship punctuated by increasingly desperate, abortive sexual acts that leave both parties feeling degraded and alone.   

       During some of the sex scenes, she can start crying, before descending into hyperventilative screaming. Hugs and gentle language will fail to halt the hysteric screams, and eventually a heavy slap to the face will be delivered out of desperation. There, naked in the stark light of an undressed lightbulb, viewing the grim scene of domestic violence he's just participated in, a small piece of him will die inside.   

       This continues for months, and after what seems like an eternity of routine misery, and degradation one (or both) of them will conduct a series of affairs, and the months of misery and hideous despair will suddenly snap into a brief but violent week or so of violent liberation and malicious relief, followed by a lifetime of guilt and an unwillingness to again trust or engage others in meaningful relationships.   

zen_tom, Aug 14 2008

       Strangely, there is no Rule 34 porn.
zen_tom, Aug 14 2008

       Not yet, but I can already foresee the Rule 34 Rule 34 porn. Not pretty.
theleopard, Aug 14 2008

       Depressingly, [zen_tom] is wrong.
hidden truths, Aug 14 2008

       Sounds like somebody had a rough night.   

       There should be a crying game.
Noexit, Aug 14 2008

       oooh oooh can they also entangle a prostitute in an uncompleted threesome? Can he end up bruised on more than three consecutive weeks until his co-workers no longer believe his lies about walking into doors? Can an enfeebled father in law get involved somewhere, only to be thrown out of the house? An then can he be called back and be thrown out again? Will there be some hard core court action, complete with affairs with lawyers, judges, backstabbings, and at least one abortive attempt at murder? He can become alcoholic and she can steal his heartburn medication.
Voice, Aug 15 2008

       No you don't need a threesome. Just a screaming match over having an affair with someone he hasn't seen in over five years ending in a good martial-arts-style slapping, calling in the boss to confirm that yes he was actually working late on those evenings, another good slapping while the boss is there followed by a hasty exit, and years of expensive wrangling over the kids culminating in them telling social services they don't want to see him any more because every time they do she accuses him of abuse and they're sick of being intimately examined by doctors every two weeks.   

       {draws breath}   

       On second thoughts, it's hardly a credible story line, is it?
egbert, Aug 15 2008

       //They then have a thirty minute silence-laden chat exploring, why that person withdrew from the sex act, // Baked by most French cinema of the 1960s
DiveTart, Aug 15 2008

       Or, as in "Don't Look Now", sex could be followed by a terrifying chase through Venice after a figure who reminds you of your daughter who recently died in a tragic accident. Hang on, that would just be "Don't Look Now". Never mind.
hippo, Aug 15 2008

       It's sort of "porn plus actual dramatic plot," except they never climax. I'm pretty sure there have been many porn scenes where the sex is interrupted by the characters crying or whatever, as part of some fairly flimsy plot, but they probably did get back around to the sex pretty soon.
bnip, Aug 17 2008

       [bnip] - nope, porn has never included plot.
quantass, Sep 03 2009

       OK, this should probably be firmly in the realm of "don't go there", but i feel provoked to post this.   

       Actually i'm in the process of writing something which depicts the five stages of grief in an erotic context. I would call that plot. I thought it would make the protagonists more convincing and make it less of an exercise in objectification.
nineteenthly, Sep 03 2009

       Could work. Erotic moments happen at the most unexpected times - often springboarding off other totally unrelated (but usually very strong) emotions.
wagster, Sep 03 2009

       what's Rule 34 ?
vfrackis, Sep 03 2009

       "If it exists, there is porn of it."
nineteenthly, Sep 03 2009

       ohjeez the porn version of a chickflick.
FlyingToaster, Sep 03 2009

       Is there a porn version of the halfbakery?
RayfordSteele, Sep 04 2009

       And here it is. The single weirdest idea I've ever read on the HB.
doctorremulac3, Jul 22 2014

       You just need to hit the "random" button more often.
normzone, Jul 22 2014


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