Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Dante's 15º Inverse Purgatory Shopping Haj

down hill spiral supermarket
  (+18, -4)(+18, -4)
(+18, -4)
  [vote for,

Dante's 15º Inverse Purgatory Shopping Haj takes place in a supermarket where the continuous aisle of products gradually spirals down to the centralised checkouts. To prevent run-aways on the slope, each trolley is equipped with a hand grip, failsafe brake.

The net obvious physical effect is to make it easy to travel continuously in one direction, thus discouraging backtracking. The psychological effects are more subtle and long lasting.

Shoppers finally passing through the tills enter the "hall of heavenly escalators", where celestial music plays as they ascend to the entrance car park again.

xenzag, Mar 14 2008

Vatican Spiral http://www.flickr.c...otopusch/466069603/
[calum, Mar 17 2008]

Haj http://www.chinadai...250852871166433.jpg
[xenzag, Mar 17 2008]

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       "Hmm - everything in this supermarket is arranged in order of spiciness"
hippo, Mar 14 2008

       Is there a much more boring paradisical version?
nineteenthly, Mar 14 2008

       It should spiral up. The downward spiral would encourage arrival of shoppers as the checkout before they had adequately persued the wondrous products available for purchase. We want them to linger. Also, I would omit the handbrake, as some backsliding would allow for reperusal of wondrous products. Also, the slope could be slightly but unobtrusively greater in front of certain product displays, whose makers would pay extra to have them so sited.
bungston, Mar 14 2008

       I can see the line of extreme shoppers from here. Differing from the standard issue carts to their own specially prepared sport models that look vaguely reminscent of wheeled bobsleds or even logues that will allow them to complete shopping in record time. Parents are begged by teenagers to be allowed to shop for them. The best bringing lots of coupons for paper towels or toilet paper which is packed high right before the registers.
MisterQED, Mar 14 2008

       I like the idea of sloping the floors to guide shoppers. [+]   

       BTW, there is such a thing as a shopping cart escalator--you wheel the cart onto it, and special grooves connect to carry it up, whilst you catch the people escalator next to it.
baconbrain, Mar 14 2008

       [UB] from the nature of your postings (increasing references to offspring; extreme methods of weight loss), I'm inferring that you've just hit your mid-life crisis head-on.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 14 2008

       I propose sloped shopping isles leading to the high value impulse retail areas and discouraging efficient transit through the shopping center and everyone poo-poo's the idea. I've got to get more literary and obtuse. To much caffine.....
WcW, Mar 14 2008

       [WcW], it does seem to be 99% presentation and 1% inspiration here
afinehowdoyoudo, Mar 15 2008

       oh, & 100% procrastination
afinehowdoyoudo, Mar 15 2008

       It would be more appropriate for the shopping spree to exit directly into Hell.
nuclear hobo, Mar 15 2008

       {WcW] I don't recall your idea about sloping shopping aisles, but my own idea is not really about shopping.
xenzag, Mar 15 2008

       The Guggenheim in New York, and the Ikea store at Kungens Kurva (just outside Stckholm) are both built like this. Since Ikea is a furniture "supermarket" , that makes the idea sort-of Baked, especially since the Ikea store on a busy Saturday before Christrmas does indeed bear a striking resemblance to the lower circles of Hell .......
8th of 7, Mar 15 2008

       I often "backtrack" in the wine aisle.. Bordeaux or Cote-du-Rhone? hmmm. Back and forth..
vinny gildersleeve, Mar 15 2008

       //To much caffine.....//   

       Hear, hear!   

       The finer, the better.
baconbrain, Mar 16 2008

       15° is actually pretty steep.
Texticle, Mar 16 2008

       Definietely downhill. Uphill would be a deterrent to people from filling their trolleys too much.....
Custardguts, Mar 17 2008

       Prayerwheels on the trolley handles would drive the trolley in reverse. Spin ten prayers to move one foot away from hell.
wagster, Mar 17 2008

       Yikes, I forgot to add this croissant to your shopping cart. +
xandram, Mar 19 2008

       I'm not in favor of anything that makes shopping more like a cattle auction, and bringing up Ikea's floorplan is the glowing tip on the hot prod.
dentworth, Mar 19 2008

       I get regular visitations from the holy ghost of TescoDirect.
wagster, Mar 21 2008


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