Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Dog Day Afternoon

do not disturb, i might bite..
  (+10, -3)
(+10, -3)
  [vote for,

as a consultant i frequently change workplace, but one common theme is that at times people want to be left alone to actually do some work.

in some workplaces people indicate this by wearing a hat, any hat. which should mean "leave me alone". however, there are times when your not quite sure if your issue is suitably large to override the hat. also, some people become habitual hat wearers just so they can concentrate upon the latest online golf game.

my suggestion is that anyone who doesnt want to be disturbed should wear a dog nose. This has 2 advantages:
1) they are a little uncomfortable & you are unlikely to wear one unless you really shouldnt be disturbed.
2) you can wear different breeds to indicate your mood. a rottweiller = i will bite if disturbed. poodle = i would prefer to not be disturbed, but will only harmlessly snap at you. jack russell = i will appear really annoyed, but actually i'll forget about fairly quickly.

(thanks to goff for the 2nd advantage)
mymus, May 24 2002

I love weird coincidentals like this.. http://www.edwdebono.com/debono/shcd1.htm
you sound very sensitive to me, mymus. [po, May 24 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]


       mymus, if you couldn't figure out that employees were uncomfortable with your inquiries when they started to wear hats in your presence, perhaps you are not qualified to be a consultant who charges an hourly fee. Instead of being asked to don dog nose gear, those employees who give you the cold shoulder and apply their nose closer to the company grindstone should be thrown a "bone"... Which, in common parlance, used to mean a crisp $100 bill (US), for being able to differentiate between what generates income and what is obviously superfluous twaddle. Considering how long I've been away from the marketplace and the rate of inflation, I wouldn't be terribly surprised to find that the average "bone" went for $1K these days...Woof!
jurist, May 24 2002

       jurist, actually this is nothing to do with me wanting to contact them. their behaviour is well established long before i arrive & observe it. I am merely observing this trend across various companies.

i will try not to take your obvious dislike of consultants personally. i work for myself & get paid because i deliver value. i get more work because of excellent references from prior clients. & in my experience, most people dont need bribes to do their jobs.
mymus, May 24 2002

       po, wow. i thought i was being restrained in my response to jurist.
mymus, May 24 2002

       did I say you were not? eh?
po, May 24 2002

       Actually, mymus, you could not be more incorrect, as I do a considerable amount of consulting, also. I've just never experienced the reception you've described. As a former business owner, I regarded monetary incentives as an important and occasionally effective tool in my armory. Not as effective as an incredibly good head stroking, mind you, but a very close second.
jurist, May 24 2002

       jurist, again this isnt about me or my reception. its established behaviour in open plan offices, where people are time scarce. there are times when all of us are in the zone & just need a couple of uninterupted hours to complete something. the idea is about being able to clearly signify this, and the level of "do not disturb" ness.
mymus, May 24 2002

       I think you would be well served to re-read what you have actually written in your original idea and subsequent postings. As the guy who pays the bill, I would be very un-impressed with someone who expressed themself so incompletely.
jurist, May 24 2002

       wow, jurist, chill!
yamahito, May 24 2002

       Gee, Yama, I just didn't see it that way...I'll turn the air conditioning down to 69 degrees Fahrenheit and hope these insights evaporate. Thanks for the heads up.
jurist, May 24 2002

       <Relaxes as peace, soft and warm as the white dove's down, settles all around this idea...>   

yamahito, May 24 2002

       I love the basis here. Not the dog noses, really, but the whole "can't you see I'm wearing a hat? Leave me alone!" thing is hilarious. This naturally developed?
waugsqueke, May 24 2002

       yep, seen it in 3 places so far. it does have value, & some people have some great hats for it. i always meant to get my last boss an enormous mad hatter top hat with "JUST FUCK OFF!" on it. as she would explode if any did disturb her while wearing her battered cap. it was always amusing to see someone slowly approaching her, while she scowled at her monitor. wondering at what distance from her they would spin round & leave.
mymus, May 24 2002

       As usual, I've been po-interpreted...I was just trying to hand out $100 dollar bonuses to deserving employees who continue to do their work well, don't bite, meet goals, and don't urinate on the consultants, with or without head gear..
jurist, May 24 2002

       jurist, you seem very judge mental. (pun fully intended).
mymus, May 24 2002

       Blissmiss, see what you've done? I'd just got them settled.
yamahito, May 24 2002

       bristolz, any chance of a pic of completely undisturbable office to make us all chuckle & hug, in an end of Friends episode kind of way?
mymus, May 24 2002

       Is there a hat for "come and talk to me - I'm in here on my own and would dearly love to talk to someone about work or the weather (I don't mind which) instead of the boss and everyone else just assuming I know what I'm doing?"
sappho, May 24 2002

       my link was merely my very own mental link between Edward DeBono (jurist's mention of a bone) and the author's 6 hats book.
po, May 24 2002

       yep, that'll be the lost, orphan puppy nose & sad eyes mask.
mymus, May 24 2002

       I am now sitting at my desk wearing a yellow construction hard hat with FUCK OFF-THIS MEANS YOU! written on it with dry marker. People are gathering around the corners off the partitioning and peeking in at me surrepticiously. But they are not talking to me so the concept does work. I cannot comment on the dogs nose element as there does not seem to be one to hand, but croissant anyway.
IvanIdea, May 24 2002

       it will be interesting to see if you soon have a red indian, sailor, butch biker & traffic cop sat around you young man.
mymus, May 24 2002

       Don't make me laugh out loud at work, please, mymus. But there must be some kind of idea in that. It's far better than dog noses.
pottedstu, May 24 2002

       I would like a feather in my cap, BTW a big croissant to you, mymus.
po, May 24 2002

       Go on, Buttercup..Don't let us down with talk about the Village People.
jurist, May 24 2002

       Its now 4 oclock and no, there have been no traffic cops. However I had forgotten that my bank manager (surreally called Mr Barsted) was coming.
He admired my head gear
drank my coffee
extended my overdraft
left with the hat which he seemed overjoyed with
Good job Mymus, what do I owe you for the consultancy?
IvanIdea, May 24 2002

       <makes notes for next meeting with bank manager>
yamahito, May 24 2002

       IvanIdea, its free unless he's also my bank manager. in which case, my fee will the same as the amount i would have been trying to get from our bank manager...
mymus, May 24 2002

       I find that if I just spend enough time of the day talking to, giggling, and answering myself, no one bothers me. Come to think of it, most of the cubes around me were empty. Hmm...
RayfordSteele, May 24 2002

       Sappho, that's puppy eyes you need, not a dog nose...
goff, Jun 17 2002

       That's one of the advantages of joining the Borg. You turn on your sightline laser and keep shining it in people's eyes as they try to talk to you. They soon get the message and go away.   

       "Little Red Dot" = "Do Not Dsiturb"
8th of 7, Jun 17 2002

       not sure that just the red dot would be enough to stop me trying to talk with 7 of 9 though. then again, in her case, i dont think a dog nose would help much either.
mymus, Jun 17 2002

       [+] heh- I just sniffed this one out!!
xandram, May 09 2012


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