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Dolphin in a can

No not cat food, it's a dolphilganger.
  [vote for,

Watching a recent Mythbusters outtake episode I was amazed to learn that sharks would not attack an object looking like a seal as long as there was a foam rubber dolphin in close proximity.
This held true for fish and meat as well.

An inflatable plastic dolphin could be compressed into a fairly small and lightweight container as standard safety gear in shark infested waters.
When threatened, simply engage a battery powered pump which quickly fills your dolphin buddy with water from your depth so buoyancy will not be a problem.

Dive in complete confidence.

Rigging the dolphin with a buoyancy control device will see you escorted safely to the surface.







Hey, if you don't have a way back to shore it's your own fault.

Dolphin friendly tuna http://www.odd-fish...dex.php?comic_id=48
[normzone, Mar 27 2008]


       Nice idea, but it seems like research suggests. Also, I think there is more than just the shape involved. Foam rubber may approximate dolphin skin and flesh.   

       As dolphins are fairly aquadynamic, it would make sense to make diving equipment with dolphin-like features such as a dorsal fin tank and fin-shaped fins. If you used a propulsion thingy, that could be shaped like a baby dolphin. I'm sure a shark would be most wary of what appeared to be a mother with calf.
marklar, Mar 26 2008

       + I'd like a dophin buddy!
xandram, Mar 26 2008

       I thought this was going to be about canning the dolphins that are caught with tuna instead of throwing them back. Dolphin Buddy would be a better name.
nuclear hobo, Mar 26 2008

       I'd like for the can to look like a can of mixed nuts.
Noexit, Mar 26 2008

       Would that be like Dolphin Helper? Dolphins are reputed to taste like veal. I don't like veal and I won't eat dolphin.   

       Sharks will occasionally strike fish in the vicinity of dolphins, but it appears to be the exception rather than the rule. Tuna schools will often run under dolphin pods, probably for this reason.
normzone, Mar 26 2008

       I really did think this was an idea for a new brand of "friendly dolphin tuna".   

       Maybe have a saltwater-activated battery operated noise source that plays a loud dolphin distress/aggression call, something that I'm sure the shark would be familiar with.   

       My only question is - I thought most shark attacks were unexpected? I can't imagine this'd do you much good with half a leg already missing.
Custardguts, Mar 26 2008

       What happens if it bursts? (+)
xenzag, Mar 27 2008


       [Shot of a couple and their young son on the beach, looking wistfully out to sea. Then a shot of 10-15 dorsal fins patrolling just beyond the breaking waves.]   

       Little boy: "Aw, Dad, I wanted to go swimming."   

       Dad: "Sorry, sport. See those fish? Those are great white sharks, and you'd be shredded and swallowed by those monsters before you could say Jack Robinson!"   

       Little boy, sadly: "Darn."   

       Voiceover: "Tired of letting man-eating sharks ruin your family's day at the beach? Try new Dolphin-Buddy! We're so confident that you and your family will not be mercilessly ripped in half that we'll give double your money back if you are!"   

       [Shot of the family laughing and frolicking among the sharks, with artificial dolphin nearby.]   

       Family in unison: "Thanks, Dolphin-Buddy!"
bnip, Mar 27 2008

       I wonder why sharks get so freaked out by dolphins. Is it because they have sex for fun? And the shark is like 'damn I eat seals all day I'm crazy. but THOSE things, gawd!'.
daseva, Mar 27 2008

       //it would make sense to make diving equipment with dolphin-like features //
hmmmm, man powered dolphin diving suit...hmmmm.

       //[2fries] finally discovered what I was keeping in my Fake Peanut Brittle can all this time.//
I was guessing at a planets worth of missing socks.

       //I thought most shark attacks were unexpected? //
That might be true, I don't know.
I was under the impression that shark attacks are usually preceded by nudges or circling.

       //What happens if it bursts?//
Believe it or not I actually considered this.
Since the skin of the dolphin would not be stretchy like a balloon but more like an inflatable beach ball, small punctures would not matter in the least as long as the pump remained in operation.
Of course if a Great White decided to attack the dolphin all bets are off, but at least you may be able to use the distraction to arm your cattle prod.

       //Sharks will occasionally strike fish in the vicinity of dolphins//
Have you seen this first hand [normzone]?
That would be so cool. I just recently got certified for open water diving and can't wait for another chance to go, unfortunately the water around here kind of sucks for viewing sea-life, let alone spearing it. : )

       //Family in unison: "Thanks, Dolphin-Buddy!"//
Search for "bionic dolphin" [bnip].
I've been wondering if it would be possible to write off the cost of owning one of these things if a viable business plan could be thought up where you would contract out to specific cities or beaches to patrol the water and scare away shark during peak seasons.

       //I wonder why sharks get so freaked out by dolphins. Is it because they have sex for fun? //
That's exactly it.
Hard core Dolphornographic videos are the future.


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