Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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El Chapo Stick

Like Chapstick for the butthole (Prison Grade)
  [vote for,

For prisoners facing a long time locked up, pain in the nether regions might become unbearable.

The pain inflicted by group showers and accidently dropping the soap, via presumably unwelcome probing can be alleviated by El Chapo Stick.

The product contains cocaine (novacaine like at the dentist) to numb the nerves using local anesthetic, and the Vaseline base product helps with lubrication.

The application of the product is in the form of a phallic like tube, in order to cover the most affected areas. A good fit as it were, since it resembles the shape of the penal probe patrol.

Available in different sizes. Small for first time prisoners. Medium for repeat offenders and Large for those who are used to the ins and outs of the prison system.

I think this product would be really popular for long term residents of prisons, possibly not for the top men, but for the new comers bottom men (the bottom of the pecking order).

AngelEleven, Jan 15 2016

"What we've got here is a failure to communicate!" http://reason.com/a...6/20/rape-factories
"Contrary to popular belief, most of the perpetrators were not other prisoners but staff members" [LimpNotes, Jan 15 2016]


       Was looking for probabilities on this type of thing and found this article that says according to DOJ records, staff members are the primary rapists in prisons.
LimpNotes, Jan 15 2016

       Lot of effort for a rape joke.
the porpoise, Jan 15 2016

       Not a rape joke, since rape is no joke. Merely a product idea for dispensing local anaesthetic to the anal orifice, and apply lubrication at the same time.   

       As awful as this is, I reckon this product would still be useful for some people. One could probably buy it from your local sex shop or chemist as a novelty item.   

       One use could be to relieve the pain in the butt after taking a dump from consuming very hot Mexican food. As a person who loves hot food, I would consider using this, however for now its just a matter of mind over matter - at the moment I just put up with the slight discomfort for a few minutes. On second thought, since I am a virgin in that way, the thought of shoving something in the out hole makes me cringe.   

       It may have some legitimate uses, for example for the post operative treatment of piles or colon cancer.   

       As a medical tool, one could also use it as a literal anal probe, perhaps with a camera or scalpel on one end for delicate surgery of diseases in that area of the body.
AngelEleven, Jan 16 2016

       Like the name a lot, but idea not great.
xenzag, Jan 17 2016

       Yeah I was thinking of something that could make El Chapo stick in prison, however that idea escaped me, and was instead replaced with this.
AngelEleven, Jan 17 2016


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