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Elastic Map

Any Point A to Any Point B is a straight line...
  (+4, -1)
(+4, -1)
  [vote for,

if you stretch the map hard enough.
thumbwax, Apr 12 2008


       I'm imagining detailed gassamer maps of every city in the world in a match-box. +
xenzag, Apr 12 2008

       Why not just fold the map so that point A and point B are touching?
BJS, Apr 12 2008

       // fold the map so that point A and point B are touching //   

       It's more useful to fold spacetime so that Point A and Point B are touching. You need a decent power source for an interdimensional congruency generator to fold space like that, but it's a nice quick way to travel halfway across the galaxy in zero time. Just watch out for natural wormholes, though.
8th of 7, Apr 12 2008

       //It's more useful to fold spacetime//   

       8th, how have you achieved your current level of galactic domination without knowing something so very basic about the universe?   

       Spacetime is **already** folded up. Downtown Manhattan is actually 75 light-years from Central Park, but a wrinkle in spacetime makes them appear adjacent. Likewise, my living- room is in an entirely different arm of the galaxy from my kitchen, but warpage makes them appear contiguous.   

       What you think of as a relatively flat 3D universe (and what you would like to pleat to shorten distances) is *already* highly warped and concertinaed - you just can't see the joins. If you start trying to refold it in a different way, to bring currently remote locations together, you'll just end up screwing up the current fold system, and goodbye Central Park.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 12 2008

       sat navs everywhere will implode.   

       and I *still* wouldn't be able to fold it up neatly.
po, Apr 12 2008

       // Spacetime is **already** folded up. //   

       We know. Every time we use our Congruency Generator, it leaves these creases and wrinkles. We've tried spraying it with Spacetime Softener to smooth it out, but it doesn't seem to help. We were working on an Interdimensional Congruency Steam Iron, but the budget got cut ......
8th of 7, Apr 13 2008

       You need a spinning charge at high temperatures - a steam ion.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 13 2008

       And bleach to get the stains out from black holes.
Ling, Apr 13 2008

       The trouble is that the Fabric of Spacetime isn't what it used to be......
8th of 7, Apr 13 2008

       I thought this was going to a balloon globe
MisterQED, Apr 13 2008

       The map could come with a small corner section which is non elastic, has a grid printed on it, and correct to scale. Then you could stretch all other sections correctly, and use the map!
pashute, Apr 14 2008

       London Underground maps tend toward this.
angel, Apr 14 2008

       Joe was trying to get some long-distance travels figured out. He found he had to stretch his map around a cylindrical pillar in order to get them straightened - but then they were difficult to read. Disgustedly, he muttered, "Great. Circle routes."
lurch, Apr 14 2008

       <Cymbal sting>   

       <long pause>   

       <Slow, ragged handclaps, booing>
8th of 7, Apr 15 2008

       Am I missing something here? On any map, you can join two points (A and B) with a straight line. What's the elastic for? What are you all talking about? I'm going to bed...
wagster, Apr 15 2008


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