Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Emergency Toasters In All Schools

break glass and make toast
  [vote for,

In every large school there will be at least someone who is addicted to toast, and for whom an emergency use toaster needs to be provided. These are simple toasters with few controls, equipped with one single slice of frozen bread, poised above the slot, in anticipation of being dropped in. Breaking a glass panel initiates the toast making process. It also sounds an alarm and triggers a camera recording of events to deter acts of inappropriate toast making.

When complete, the emergency toast drops out unto a paper plate which emerges from another slot under the toaster, accompanied by a simple plastic knife and a sachet of butter.

The entire apparatus is protected by heavy perspex housing, apart from the glass activating panel. Once it has been used, it must be opened via a key and reset with a fresh slice of bread, butter, knife and plate. These quickly become chilled to preserve their freshness in the refrigerated box containing the toaster.

Emergency toasters are supplemented by donation boxes to pay for their maintenance and supplies.

xenzag, Oct 11 2015

Toast https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WJmKStqugMc
For Bliss [xenzag, Oct 12 2015]


       Makes complete sense - needs more butter though.
DenholmRicshaw, Oct 11 2015

MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 11 2015

       What [Max] said...
blissmiss, Oct 11 2015

       [MB]! [blissmiss]!
DenholmRicshaw, Oct 12 2015

       Grrrrr scrape scrape.... Burnt toast, only suitable for chucking at an intruder, frisbee style.... Oops another idea.
xenzag, Oct 12 2015

       I have never met a toast addict, ever. And being a former addict of multiple substances, I know an addict from a mile away. I have never seen one.
blissmiss, Oct 12 2015

       As a recovering toast addict, who's battle cry was " Toast is the most ! ", this idea makes me hungry. I think I'll go to lunch.
normzone, Oct 12 2015

       [blissmiss] The link is just for you to verify the true addiction of Toast.
xenzag, Oct 12 2015

       Bizarre, weird, and had to see it to believe it territory.
blissmiss, Oct 13 2015

       In the UK, every citizen has the right to bare toast.
xenzag, Oct 13 2015

       Emergency toast in all schools: No glass needed. Just break the toast and eat it.
pashute, Oct 13 2015

       How about an emergency toasted-cheese-sandwich maker? It could be pre-loaded with buttered bread and cheese, and be activated by any of several switches around the school in case of emergency.   

       I am pretty sure that anyone intent on causing a school emergency is likely to be inescapably drawn to, and distracted by, the smell of toasted cheese, to the point where they might be disarmed effortlessly
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 13 2015

       Grilled cheese, yes. Toast...not so much.
blissmiss, Oct 13 2015

       Perhaps "toasted cheese sandwich" doesn't translate transatlantically.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 13 2015

       [blissy] *I* AM a toast addict! I cannot eat a sandwich unless it's on toast, among other toasty meals, breakfast toast, lunch toast, supper toast and snack toast (with honey or jam or marmalade). Just so you know, now you know a toast addict!   

       So, I guess I must bun this idea...
xandram, Oct 14 2015

       There is probably the means of making a machine gun type toaster, where belt fed slices of bread (rounds) enter the device and emerge rapidly, fully toasted like bullets.
xenzag, Oct 14 2015

       Shit, she probably wants her bun toasted too...(glances sideways in xandram's direction.)
blissmiss, Oct 15 2015

xandram, Oct 15 2015


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