Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Empirical testing of Russia

  [vote for,

I suggest breaking up Europe into little countries, with a graded number of Russian nationals in each country.

For example, sub-country 1 could have 49%, subcounty 2 could have 48%, ..further down the list is Highgate, London about 5% and possibly Weston-super-Mare, Somerset with one bloke who once bought a matrioshka at a jumble sale.

Then we get the level of menace, subcountry 1 has people threatening physical violence, while subcountry 87 merely excludes them from bingo.

In this manner it should be possible to get the numbers to draw the graph.

not_morrison_rm, Mar 24 2014


       sub-country 1 could be the Sudetenland, as they've had the practice.
not_morrison_rm, Mar 24 2014

       Would russians be added or subtracted to maintain grade, or would there be a periodic regrading of each region?
bungston, Mar 24 2014

       Subtracted. Russians have a hard time adding to their numbers, although I guess recently their population has increased a few thousand.
RayfordSteele, Mar 25 2014

       "I'm just gonna read down this list here, and you tell me how much MENACE you experience. ok?   

       ... SPIDERS?   

       ...huh. how about GIANT spiders?"
sninctown, Mar 25 2014

       // Would russians be added or subtracted to maintain grade,   

       Well, the logical way would be to change the borders, get a few enclaves. It's easier to redraw the map than shift loads of people around.   

       Don't ask me about who gets the seat on the UN security council, suggest weekly attendance decided by rock, scissors, paper.
not_morrison_rm, Mar 26 2014

       We wouldn't be able to reset the initial conditions between test cases, so the experiment wouldn't be properly controlled. Basically, what we need here is a backed up version of Russia to roll back to every time the fighting starts. This could be implemented by re-seeding the place with Old Believers from Siberia, full of essential Russian-ness, but having no memory of the past fifty years of history.
pertinax, Mar 27 2014

       So, any old collection of drunken Russians, then?
RayfordSteele, Mar 27 2014

       Last time Russia got grabby Britain was pretty well out of sorts. But the time before that, the Brits sent in the Light Brigade to charge about, plus Florence Nightengale. Why don't they send in that crew again. Updated, of course.
bungston, Mar 27 2014

       //Why don't they send in that crew again. Updated, of course.   

       That's a reason quite a few WWI war memorials in the UK go 1914-1919..
not_morrison_rm, Mar 28 2014

       "I suggest breaking up Europe into little countries" Look at google maps... Europe isn't a country...
sisseck, Mar 28 2014

       //Look at google maps... Europe isn't a country...   

       You can break a tree into pieces and make matches, does that make a tree a match?   

       Personally, I'd put Europe down as an incontinent, as it leaks a lot.
not_morrison_rm, Mar 29 2014


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