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Enema Cinema

Relax and Enjoy!
  (+4, -8)
(+4, -8)
  [vote for,

This is a movie theatre that has special seats designed to deliver any number of specialized enemas for your colon cleansing pleasure.

Meanwhile, movies especially picked to take your mind off the procedure are playing, such as "Freddie Got Fingered (By The Mob)", "Fire Down Below", "Popeye" and "Don't Look Now", with many more titles playing each week.

Ask about our franchise opportunities!

Grogster, Sep 30 2012

here's a whole shit-load of movies that will work! http://letterboxd.c...like-shitliterally/
[xandram, Oct 01 2012]

The Road to Wellville http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111001/
William Lightbody: "Oh, no, no, I can't eat fifteen gallons of yoghurt". Dr. John Harvey Kellogg: "Oh, it's not going in that end, Mr. Lightbody." [Klaatu, Oct 02 2012]


       It takes a special type of mind to dream this stuff up.   

       On second thought... No, I'm sticking with 'special'.
Alterother, Sep 30 2012

       Before even browsers existed, I was reading Usenet as one is wont to do, and someone posted about a stomach upset advert which showed an unhappy couple leaving a movie theatre, but there was no title on the marquee. So...what was the name of the movie?   

       Names I remember:
"A river runs through it"
"The big easy"
4and20, Sep 30 2012

       Public Enema Number One.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 30 2012

       Really sick and gross.
blissmiss, Sep 30 2012

       Do not GoLightly into that good night
Old arses burn and strain at close of day;
Rage, rage against the colonoscopic light.

       Though wise men at their ends know not to fight,
Because their mouths had forked no supper they
Do not GoLightly into that good night.

       With apologies to the ghost of Dylan Thomas, long may he haunt us.
Alterother, Sep 30 2012

       Our Motto: The Ends Justify The Means!
Grogster, Sep 30 2012

       "Carry On Up The Khyber"
8th of 7, Sep 30 2012

       Oooh look, Road To Wellville is playing.   

       They're not going to make us sit on stools are they?   

ytk, Sep 30 2012

       "The Enema Below"
8th of 7, Sep 30 2012

       "You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!"
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 30 2012

       "The Lord Of The Ringpieces"
8th of 7, Sep 30 2012

       //They're not going to make us sit on stools are they?//   

       Au, Contraire, [2 fries]! These are the finest modified theatre seats that money can buy on sale and at wholesale prices heavily discounted. The custom plumbed hardware in the center of the seat is even replaced with brass fixtures for the showing of the movie "Goldfinger." You'll feel stirred, not shaken.
Grogster, Sep 30 2012

       // Goldfinger //   

       More a case of "Doctor, Nooooooo! "
8th of 7, Sep 30 2012

       I've been to one of these places, and I have to say that the picture quality was awful. I think the projectionist was just going through the motions.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 30 2012

       "Run Silent, Run Deep"?   

       I feel a strong urge to express my understanding that colon cleansing is a bunch of hooey.   

       On the occasions that I have felt an enema would be useful for clearing blockages, the last two things I wanted were anything prodding about my sensitive areas, and to be sitting upright.
baconbrain, Sep 30 2012

       Enema at the Gates.
DIYMatt, Sep 30 2012

       Dr. StrangeGlove or: How I Learned to Stop Currying and Love the Balm.   

       "Some Like It Hot"
hippo, Oct 01 2012

       "Battleship Potemkin"
calum, Oct 01 2012

       "The Abyss"
hippo, Oct 01 2012

       "Gone With The Wind"
8th of 7, Oct 01 2012

       Gone to the dogs, this one has.
blissmiss, Oct 01 2012

       "Little Nicky"
"The Red Shoes"
"Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore"
"High Fidelity"
calum, Oct 01 2012

No, seriously... lube will be provided?

       "The Buns of Navarone"
hippo, Oct 01 2012

       If it was a big cinema, and not well maintained, it could well be a case of"20,000 Leaks Under The Seat" …
8th of 7, Oct 01 2012

       It would be interesting to compare the appeal of the enema to the appeal of the film.
nineteenthly, Oct 01 2012

       … Brokeback Mountain …
8th of 7, Oct 01 2012

       //20,000 Leaks Under The Seat// Bravo!
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 01 2012

       "The Road to Wellville"   

       Funny in a Monty Python-ish way. <link>
Klaatu, Oct 02 2012

       Yes I do believe that;   

       "My own stools, sir, are perfect--they are gigantic! And, have no more odor than a hot biscuit.''   

       is my all time favorite Anthony Hopkins line.   

       //20,000 Leaks Under The Seat//   

       I'm still laughing about that one...   

       (Note to Self: HIRE A PLUMBER)
Grogster, Oct 02 2012

       "Close Encounters of the Turd Kind"
hippo, Oct 02 2012

       "The END!"
AusCan531, Oct 02 2012

       //of the Turd Kind//

       Diarrhea of a wimpy kid.   

       If a child sat in an adult seat by mistake, you could get "Honey, I Blew Up The Kid" ...
8th of 7, Oct 02 2012

       "Fuckbob Shitpants"
calum, Oct 02 2012

       The Year of Living Dangerously.
DrBob, Oct 02 2012

       Would all this be funded by the Motion/Picture Academy?
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 02 2012

       Oh, and Shitty Shitty Bang Bang.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 02 2012

       "The Towering Inuendo", and, worryingly, "There Will Be Blood".   

       "Any which way but loose" ?
8th of 7, Oct 02 2012

Alterother, Oct 02 2012

       A sort of Ethnic Cleansing, certainly, but not in the accepted sense of the term.
8th of 7, Oct 02 2012

       I don't get that one.
Alterother, Oct 02 2012

       Aha. Agreed. Very clever.   

       'Fleet Fighter' (directly inspired by above prior art, of course)
Alterother, Oct 02 2012

       Angels with Dirty Faeces.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 02 2012

       Ring Of Brown Water
Star Trek: The Motion Picture
Flush Gordon
8th of 7, Oct 02 2012

       The Movement of King George.
Alterother, Oct 02 2012

       //This is turning into a Sphincters List//   



       //The Movement of King George//   

       So I guess I can stop wondering why he stuttered...
Grogster, Oct 02 2012

       Reservoir Logs.   

       Children of the corn.
nomocrow, Oct 03 2012

       //So I guess I can stop wondering why he stuttered...//

You're thinking of "The King's Peach"
hippo, Oct 03 2012

       Star Wars: Attack of the Colons
Star Wars: Rectum of the Jedi
Briefs Encounter
8th of 7, Oct 03 2012

       ...and still nobody has mentioned 'Back Passage to India'.

This whole set of annos reminds me of that Irwin Allen TV series about the submarine. You know the one. Voyage to the Bottom of the Barrel.
DrBob, Oct 03 2012

       Monty Python's 'The Cleaning of Wife'.   

       And then we could have the theatre version with some Shaking-spear: Romeo and Scrapey-jet, All's Well that Ends Well and Coriolanus will be the opening performances.
TomP, Oct 03 2012


       'special seats designed to deliver any number of specialized enemas for your colon cleansing pleasure'   

       All right. How exactly do these seats insert a tube rectally without disturbing the subject's enjoyment of the films? Or that of other movie goers?
Phrontistery, Oct 06 2012

       //...How exactly...//   

       Very carefully.   

       First, we explain the principle of... Look, SQUIRREL !!!   

       There, that wasn't so bad, now was it? Relax and enjoy tonight's feature presentation, "Something Wicked This Way Comes."
Grogster, Oct 06 2012

       You haven't worked that bit out yet.
Phrontistery, Oct 06 2012

       More a case of he hasn't worked that one in, it would seem.   

       The adjective "enjoyable" does seem to imply that patrons of the establishment are most likely to choose a rather narrow and specific range of viewing material of the type usually sent in a plain, unmarked wrapper.
8th of 7, Oct 06 2012

       Please feel free to take one of our tasty after dinner mints on your way out of the theatre! And don't forget next week's feature movie, "The Naked Spur," an old western classic sure to have you riding tall in the saddle.
Grogster, Oct 06 2012


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