Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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F1 Bumper Stickers

Lightweight psychological advantage.
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Millions of pounds are spent each year in formula one trying to find lightweight additions to cars which will bring a competitive advantage to the team.

I am amazed that none of the myriad genius brains in F1 have ever stumbled upon this idea; but in my half baked experience when a 'baker develops a brilliant idea which smart people have failed to recognise as brilliant, it is almost always accepted with universal praise and admiration in the 'bakery.

So here's the idea: add a lightweight bumper sticker to the back of the car. Slogans could include witticisms such as "honk if you want to go faster" "I heart Bahrain" and "my other car is pretty much identical to this one."

These adornments would surely cause other drivers to stop and think, in an arena where both stopping and thinking are almost always bad ideas.

Fishrat, Jun 06 2012

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       'Hows my driving?'   

       I prefer the more direct approach to putting off other drivers. Namely the Schumacher approach, simply rear end them at 175mph and then blame the other driver for failing to anticipate the collison.
S-note, Jun 06 2012
  

       A beautiful, naked, girl on the back might be distracting?
Ling, Jun 06 2012
  

       "My other ride is your Mom" may be distracting.
cudgel, Jun 06 2012
  

       Mine would have to read *I don't have another car*. [+]
xandram, Jun 06 2012
  

       "My other car is full of eels"
UnaBubba, Jun 06 2012
  

       //"My other ride is your Mom"//   

       Brilliant.   

       [+] For the idea as well. There's no bumper sticker that couldn't hurt the guy driving behind you. You could have it say "Good luck fellow racer!" and it would a) take time to read b) be distracting and, possibly c) get up in the guy's head as in "Hey, is this guy being a smartass? Or maybe he's being nice."
doctorremulac3, Jun 06 2012
  

       There's someone who markets red bumper stickers with the text "If this bumper sticker is blue, you're driving too fast" - brilliant.
hippo, Jun 07 2012
  

       Glad to see somebody finally tapped the comedy potential of blue shift jokes.
doctorremulac3, Jun 07 2012
  

       pics of explicit gay porn might also be distracting   

       ... or scat porn, two girls one cup kinda stuff   

       or pics of people who died in race car crashes   

       anything with ick factor
EdwinBakery, Jun 07 2012
  

       /A beautiful, naked, girl on the back might be distracting?/   

       She would also produce a lot of air resistance, and might get cold.
bungston, Jun 07 2012
  

       creepypasta?
Voice, Jun 07 2012
  

       The bumper sticker could slowly change to different messages, causing the driver behind you to want to "read the whole thing" instead of passing you. E.g. "Your . . . Momma . . . Is . . . A . . . "
phundug, Jun 07 2012
  

       My sticker would have an image of Gandalf glowering and saying "You shall not pass!"
AusCan531, Jun 08 2012
  

       [If you can raed tihs yuo suhold plul oevr!]   

       Baby on board.
skinflaps, Jun 09 2012
  

       Brilliant! [+]
Grogster, Jun 09 2012
  

       Caution: Deer X-ing
Alterother, Jun 09 2012
  

       "I hope you do not find this distracting"
erenjay, Jun 10 2012
  

       "F1 drivers do it in the pit lane..."
Fishrat, Jun 10 2012
  

       Caution: Severe Oil Leak
AusCan531, Jun 10 2012
  

       Caution:List alert pit stop.
skinflaps, Jun 10 2012
  

       what about molding an inverted face into the back of the car, which tracks you as you move to the side and try to overtake? It would freak me out.
erenjay, Jun 10 2012
  

       I'm thinking rather a disorienting paint job reminiscent of auto camouflage would be better. Although it might be hard for the viewers to look at.
RayfordSteele, Jun 11 2012
  

       A paint job that looks like the front of the car--coming right at you.
Alterother, Jun 12 2012
  

       1) Combined bumper sticker with anti-velcro patch.   

       2)Ahem. //Glad to see somebody finally tapped the comedy potential of blue shift jokes.   

       Q. "Is that red-eye in that shot?" A. "Oh no, that's just the doppler shift"   

       as seen in Neutrino Detector Birthday Party...
not_morrison_rm, Jun 13 2012
  

       There's a removal company in this city who have a life-sized, printed poster of two gurning idiots in the cab of one of their trucks pasted to the back of all of their trucks.   

       It scares the crap out of you every time you look up and see one of them "bearing down on you".
UnaBubba, Jun 13 2012
  

       You see, that's one of the things I can't stand about my country: in the US, somebody would have filed a lawsuit against that company the first time one of those trucks was involved in an accident, even if it wasn't a rear-ender, and after that there would be nationwide calls for state & municipal ordinances banning graphics that cause confusion over the vehicle's orientation.
Alterother, Jun 13 2012
  

       In the 1980's there was a vogue for drivers of small cars, particularly Minis, to have cards or bumper stickers that read, "My Other Car Is A Porsche"   

       This was spectacularly outdone by a motorist in the Manchester area who placed a neat hand- written sign in the rear window of his Rolls- Royce that read, "Some Of My Other Cars Are Porsche"
8th of 7, Jun 13 2012
  

       //first time one of those trucks was involved in an accident, even if it wasn't a rear-ender//   

       I suspect their trucks have fewer accidents as a result of bearing the graphics, rather than more. Seeing one of them in front of you immediately sharpens your mind.   

       [8th], that is priceless.
UnaBubba, Jun 13 2012
  

       //first time one of those trucks was involved in an accident, even if it wasn't a rear-ender//   

       Erm, how would you know it was a rear-ender? Given that both ends look the same...
not_morrison_rm, Jun 14 2012
  

       "I brake for Ferraris"
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jun 14 2012
  

       SLOW DOWN VELCRO HAZARD!
S-note, Jun 14 2012
  

       Remember those clever pictures which look different depending on which side you look at them from? Maybe you could have a bumper sticker picture of Bernie looking smug, which from another angle was Bernie looking petrified. It would seem like he was inside the car, reacting each time the car pulled through a chicane. I imagine watching it would be addictive and distracting.
Fishrat, Jun 14 2012
  

       S-note, very funny indeed. + for the anno.
blissmiss, Jun 14 2012
  
      
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