h a l f b a k e r y
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When your computer crashes at an inopportune moment it makes you so mad you want to PUNISH it, you (generally) want to smash it to smithereens. But you can't do that, because then you'd have
no computer. So what recourse do you have? Well, if the OS is
still up, you can shut down using the mouse -
but how hard can
you hit mouse buttons without breaking the mouse? Similarly,
how hard can you hit CTRL-ALT-DEL without trashing your
keyboard? Sometimes when *everything* locks up, I like to
press the On/Off switch in and out, say, 100 times, just to
demonstrate how *&$@ing pissed off I am - but you can only
do that with so much force before you break the switch...
The solution? A seperate keypad with a single key the size
of a fist with "CTRL-ALT-DEL", "Reboot", or "Exit Netscape" written on it. This would be like one of those fairground arcade machines that measures the force of your punch - it would be indestructible. So next time your computer treats you like a bitch,
*PUNCH ITS &^$#ING LIGHTS OUT*!!!!
Be Gentle? F. That.
The exact opposite of this idea. [macm, Feb 15 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]
Have your big button adapt to the occasion. Maybe big red LEDs which read "&^*$ing DIE NETSCAPE!!!!" [macm, Feb 15 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]
Similar idea... but the F.O.A.D. button wouldn't necessarily be analogue. [macm, Feb 15 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]
(??) The Microsoft Minimalist Keyboard
Yes, yes, we've all seen this hilarious gag. The difference between this, and the F.O.A.D. button is that the F.O.A.D. button is deadly serious. You might have to permanently fix it to a supporting wall in order to be able to hit it with the required force. [macm, Feb 15 2001]
The Microsoft Minimalist Keyboard
Yes, yes, we've all seen this hilarious gag. The difference between this, and the F.O.A.D. button is that the F.O.A.D. button is deadly serious. You might have to permanently fix it to a supporting wall in order to be able to hit it with the required force. [macm, Oct 04 2004]
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||A tangential idea to this would be a UI which displayed a little humility and which didn't constrain the user's input to being so deferential. So, instead of saying "No disk in drive A:" with "Retry" and "Cancel" options, the "Retry" options would read "Yes there is!" and then, when the PC found the disk in the A: drive, it would come up with a "Sorry. I've found it now" dialog.
And instead of displaying a little spinning clock-face ("You've got to wait until I'm ready"), it should actually tell you what it's doing and let you cancel it ("You wanted to see the 'Save file...' dialog, so I'm scanning all your mapped network drives and rebuilding the file explorer list. If it was just local drives which you were interested in I'll stop right away" - "No, that's alright" - "Yes, you moronic piece of electronic junk, haven't you worked out yet that I save everything locally?")
||hippo: you need to talk to the IRS
I'd like a little scriber just for distorting the desktop. That way, when no explantion is sufficient, I could just "mess around with the (PC) face a little".
||I had a program called "catharsis" that would allow you to shoot "megakilojoule angst rays" at your application. Being less than physical, though, it wears out quickly.
||My favorite has always been during re-booting (Windows) after the OS has locked up. The computer informs you (while scanning all drives) that it was improperly shut down, and cautions you to shut down properly in the future. I would use the F.O.A.D. (love the name, by the way) button in situations like this. [+]
||I like to chuck a foam brick at the monitor as hard as humanly possible, if I concentrate hard enough I can almost hear the tinkle of the last shards of the screen skittering across the desk, Mmwahhaahaha ha .
||Oh, did I type that out loud?
||Hitting the keyboard doesn't count. The computer has no pain receptors there. I flick the power switch off and on repeatedly. That way, I can hit it in the HDD and CPU where it _hurts_.
||Also, IT keeps issuing me with faster, more upto date computers.
||i was thinking this idea would be that the button was tied to artificial intelligence and the punishment was a reward/punishment reinforcement mechanism to teach it what not to do. something like that...