Some may be familiar with the Go-Pro range of "action" wearable rugged video cameras.
However, inspection of the results of use of Go-Pro devices by "the average punter" show indisputably that the video captured is very far from "professional". Recordings exhibit numerous faults, including mis-aiming
of the device (resulting in a 70 minute recording of a motorcycle's front wheel, mudguard and a very small amount of road surface), greasy fingerprints obscuring most of the image, recordings made in portrait format with the camera in landscape orientation, and many other depressing examples of human fallibility.
BorgCo are therefore offering the "Go-Am" action camera, for those benighted dolts who wish to expend even less effort in obtaining an unusable record of their activities. With a maximum recording time of just a few minutes, due to an undersized battery (a single-use photographic dry cell of an obsolete and hard to source type*) even at the generous 8-bit 320 x 240 image resolution, stored on a 3.5" floppy disk, with a flexible mounting bracket vibrationally tuned to the mass of the camera to emphasize oscillation, a non-water-resistant enclosure, and a range of clamps with underspecified screws and springs so that it falls off as soon as what it's attached to is moved, causing the fragile unit to plummet onto a hard surface and disintegrate.
Slots positioned around the casing ensure that water and dirt are routed onto delicate mechanical and electronic components with maximum efficiency, accuracy and speed.
The fittings are specially shaped and coated so that string, duct and gaffer tape, and ty-raps will simply slide off.
No repair service is available - when the unit is damaged, it's necessary to claim on the insurance** and purchase a new unit. Since disks are coded uniquely to each device, this means any existing recordings are lost.
It is quick and easy to connect the camera to a host computer for image upload, using either the 20ma current loop serial connection at 110 baud, or the IEEE-488 parallel interface. Software is supplied on a standard paper tape and is fully compatible with at least two popular small computers, including the PDP-8.
*We sell them. You may be surprised at how expensive they are.
** BorgCo is an insurance broker and will be happy to collect your payment to fully cover your item, bearing in mind the restrictive terms and conditions*** under which the insurance is valid.
***authored by MaxCo LLP, who have come up with a range of ingenious exclusions and waviers that even the writers of software licences find astonishingly innovative.