Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Gritter Modification

Stop gritters sliding into buildings and people.
  [vote for,

The grit spreading lorries that trundle around our cities in times of cold have a design flaw - they grit comes out of the back of the lorry. This means that when a hill is to be gritted the driver has two options:

(a) reverse down the hill, gritting ahead of himself, or (b) slide down the hill forwards, gritting behind.

Either way is unnecessarily dangerous and could be avoided if there was a small reservoir of grit and a spreader attached to the front of each lorry, for just such occasions.

calum, Jan 29 2002

(?) A Steaming Jaikie http://www.malkymcc...ck.com/gallery6.htm
Oh yeah. [salachair, Dec 08 2004]


       An admirably sensible idea, but what would become of the steaming jakies on Queen Margaret Drive who derive great joy from shouting, "Aw, ya boaby, mind whit yur daein!" at the beleagured gritter drivers as they skite all over the shop?
salachair, Jan 29 2002

       Good idea calum. But I might have to vote against it because of salachair's annotation.
mcscotland, Jan 29 2002

       All they do in my town is drive around at 10:30 pm (overtime rate) with the orange beacon flashing. No grit comes out at all (saves money that way).
angel, Jan 29 2002

       No, no, mcscotland, don't vote against it because of me, I think it's a great idea! We'll just have to find something else to occupy the jakies. Ummm...... suggestions?
salachair, Jan 29 2002

       We call them sand trucks here, but the same problem exists. Croissant.
TeaTotal, Jan 29 2002

       Drive backwards up the hill.
quarterbaker, Jan 29 2002

       The idea came to me after being told about the driver of a gritter that slid into (and damaged) the wall of a pub. The road he was gritting was only accessible from 'up,' so progress down the hill was the only option. There are number of hills/streets like this where I stay.   

       The steaming jakies could be occupied by showing them brightly coloured shapes. They would be entranced.
calum, Jan 29 2002

       Or drive forward up the hill, turn around, go down the hill, go around the hill and drive up the other side. Eh, [calum]'s idea is better.
phoenix, Jan 29 2002

       [PeterSealy] - you don't know how lucky you are - in Glasgow the gritters don't make the pavements safe - we have workshy Council employees who grit our pavements by using a dustpan to chuck wholly inadequate amounts of grit on the path. The said grit is located in the back of a Council pickup which they park at one end of the street. This requires them to walk up and down the street every time they want to fill their dustpan with grit, bleeding the city's overtime budget dry. This system, of course, is dependent on them actually being arsed to do it - during the last freeze our pavements weren't gritted until 4 days worth of ice had accumulated.   

       It's nice to see my taxes are being well spent.....
salachair, Feb 01 2002

       It must be of even greater comfort to know that Glasgow City council has is the highest in the country then. That was a real suprise to me when I moved from Glasgow to London and watched my bill drop by TWO THIRDS.
mcscotland, Feb 01 2002

       Here we use dump trucks where the bed tilts toward the cab and sands the road in front of the drive tires. This way you are always driving on road you just sanded.
Mattrix, Dec 07 2004

       you're kidding...
po, Dec 07 2004

       So, this is baked. Where's "here", Mattrix?
calum, Dec 07 2004

       [salachir],[mcscotland] equip the steaming jakies with personal gritter backpacks. As they stagger haphazardly about the city, their swaying gait will effectively grit pavements from curb to wall and the random nature of their routes will cover each street on a regular basis. Obviously the areas around off licenses will get done more regularly but that is no real problem.
Belfry, Dec 07 2004

       steaming = very drunk   

       jakie = bum (in the American sense)
Belfry, Dec 08 2004

       A steaming jaikie, dearest Tabs, is what you get if you mix Glaswegians with Buckfast fortified wine. Or Bacardi Breezers. Or 10p vodka shots. Or de-icer. See linky.   

       Of course, there are drunkards in every town, city, village and bus stop, but I've yet to find another place where the drunks are quite as hideous as they are in the dear, green place.
salachair, Dec 08 2004


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