Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Heat old people using microwaves

Heat old people using microwaves
  (+5, -2)
(+5, -2)
  [vote for,

Veeeeery low-level microwaves might be a more efficient way to heat people.

Maybe you could customise the temperature for individuals?

Problems: It might be that fluid in the eyeballs/brain/joints/fat might be so hyper-sensitive that the heating to the rest of the body would not be noticeable. It might also be a problem with microwaves bouncing off things and creating hot-spots.

Though we constantly have radiowaves passing through us anyway, so in itself its not dangerous.

possibly the frequency of the microwaves could impinge on brain functioning? ? ?

nicholaswhitworth, Feb 27 2011

Polar bears and cameras http://www.bbc.co.u...nvironment-12070732
A slightly off topic link. [Wrongfellow, Feb 27 2011]

Microwave Mind Control http://www.whale.to/b/rifat.html
Barking mad. [DrBob, Mar 01 2011]


       The title suggests we should start with old people?
rcarty, Feb 27 2011

       The eyes are indeed the most vulnerable; low dose microwave exposure causes premature cataracts.
8th of 7, Feb 27 2011

       There you go, then! Old people, by definition, cannot get premature cataracts.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 27 2011

       What happens if they have metal replacement hip joints?   

       You could always go for "boil in the bag" heating for old people.... or better still just burn the really old ones to heat the not quite so old.
xenzag, Feb 27 2011

       I think he left out a 'c' somewhere.
daseva, Feb 27 2011

       As the son of a very elderly parent, can I just point out that this idea is facetious, trivialising and disrespectful?   

MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 27 2011

       There's a parallel problem with hyperthermia in the elderly in summer. A modest proposal based on the old Inuit canard: cool the elderly by setting them adrift on ice floes.
mouseposture, Feb 27 2011

       Some polar bears inhabit ice floes, or can swim to them ...   

       Will there be webcams ? Please, tell us there will be webcams ...
8th of 7, Feb 27 2011

       And what is wrong with very high power levels???
saedi, Feb 27 2011

       // what's wrong... // someday, you'll be old.
lurch, Feb 27 2011

       Just buy them a mobile phone and then call them all the time... They'll soon get toastie warm!
Jinbish, Feb 27 2011

       //polar bears inhabit ice floes [...] Will there be webcams ?//   

Wrongfellow, Feb 27 2011

       You could do the experiment with cold frogs. Endpoint would be hop frequency. I predict an upside-down bell curve graphic microwave energy input vs hop vigor, with very cold and very warm frogs showing zero hops, and the optimal microwave energy at the curve zenith.
bungston, Feb 28 2011

       plus a control with the same hops/warmth curve under infrared.
lurch, Feb 28 2011

       Maybe I will get old(er...). But when I smell of wee, can't remember who I am and have too many cats (hence the smell...), turn the power setting to full. Then I'd be nice and warm and the cats too!
saedi, Feb 28 2011

       /when I smell of wee / It is possible to achieve this state without the cats. As you know all too well. "Possible" might not be a strong enough term.
bungston, Feb 28 2011

       Not too sure about a missing "c" or an extra "h" in the title, but there is definitely one too many "w"s in Nicola's moniker.
4whom, Feb 28 2011

       Microwaves may not be the most efficient way to achieve this. If you could shake the whole person at about 0.5GHz...
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 28 2011

       This reminds me of one of my favorite adages:   

       Build a man a fire, and he will be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
MikeD, Mar 01 2011

       //Microwaves may not be the most efficient way to achieve this//

I don't think we need to microwave the whole body of the elderly person, just their shoes. Once the footwear reaches an uncomfortably hot temperature the subject will naturally start hopping around, hence keeping themselves warm.
DrBob, Mar 01 2011

       Hmmm. Nom, Soylent Green

       {in shock, looks around and realises why they're all called "'Bakers"}<vr>   

       <b>Dear GOD!</b>
Dub, Mar 01 2011

       Dr. Bob is evil [+]
Voice, Mar 01 2011

       [Dub], formerly partial to free food, has a new-found fear of being invited for (er, "to"! I meant "to"!) dinner.
lurch, Mar 01 2011

       excellent, drbobby, excellent. thinking o/s the box as usual. lewes has a lot to answer for inho.
po, Mar 01 2011

       // being invited for (er, "to"! I meant "to"!) dinner //   

       "Fava beans and a nice Chianti ...."
8th of 7, Mar 01 2011

       //Fava beans// Cheezes, geting tired of that. Has no one another recipe for long pork?   

       (Now, where did I put my copy of _To Serve Man_ ?)
mouseposture, Mar 02 2011

       "Heat Young People Using Kerosene"
FlyingToaster, Mar 02 2011

       My little book here says it is served between the fish and the joint...
lurch, Mar 02 2011

       Thanks po. The guards don't let me outside of my box very often so I try and make the most of any opportunity that arises.
DrBob, Mar 02 2011

       [8th of 7], Ff-f--f-ff-f--f-ff
Dub, Mar 02 2011

       <Waits for someone to post "Non-spontaneous Human Combustion Kit" idea>
8th of 7, Mar 02 2011

       Presumably this is better (for the old people) than using an immersion heater...
saedi, Mar 03 2011


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