Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Heisenberg's Uncertainty Backstop Business Units

move cows and link them to randomised factory location
  (+5, -1)
(+5, -1)
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There are properties that physically straddle the border between Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland. This means that after brexit one end of a house can be in the EU, and the other end in the UK.

The idea is therefore to take advantage of this unique situation and establish a chain of factory units along the entire length of this border then invite businesses to occupy them.

Inside each empty unit, (known as HUBBUs) there will be a set of features that ensure the exact location of the businesses cannot ever be determined.

The first of these is a small adjoining field inside of which a pair of happy cows wander about. This field also straddles the same border.

The cows have horns to which a flexible cable is attached. These cables do not impede or cause the cows any distress whatsoever, but they are of critical importance to the operation of the business. This is because they relay signals vital to the control of the equipment contained within the factory building.

Inside the building are a series of turntables, each of which straddles the border. It is on these turntables that the manufacturing machinery and supporting offices are installed. The rotation of the turntables is totally random and determined by the movement of a chaotic pendulum system, placed in the ceiling directly above the border line.

The net effect of this arrangement is that each of the entire businesses is in a permanent state of constant unpredictable movement flux whereby their exact location cannot be established.

At any point in time one of the cows could in the UK, but half of the turntables could be in the EU, while the other turntable could be slowly entering the UK.

This means that any business occupying these units can take full advantage of both sets of rules and agreements pertaining to the EU and the UK as it is impossible to ever determine in which jurisdiction they are located.

This arrangement references Heisenberg's uncertainty principle, whereby both the position and velocity of a fundamental particle (like an electron) cannot be known at the same time, even in theory.

At a time of uncertainty, nothing is more certain than perpetual uncertainty.

Delux units have sheep as well as cows, with the resulting wool being used in the factory to be made into nice warm uncertainty pullovers.

xenzag, Feb 14 2019

Border example 1 https://www.newstat...ant-return-violence
[xenzag, Feb 14 2019]

Example 2 https://news.sky.co...ish-border-11150875
Front of house in one country, back of house in other country [xenzag, Feb 14 2019]

BEPS http://www.oecd.org...ps/beps-actions.htm
OECD document on how to deal with shifty profit shifters! [DrBob, Feb 14 2019]


       Ah but dis is a great idea, to be unsure to be unsure.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 14 2019

       Are you certain that you're unsure?
xenzag, Feb 14 2019

       //At a time of uncertainty, nothing is more certain than perpetual uncertainty.//

This type of scheme (not specifically this idea obviously but the general principal of it) is known as BEPS (Base Erosion & Profit Shifting). Basically it is a strategy to obfuscate where exactly any business that you do is taking place & it has been a staple of multi-national corporations' tax 'efficiency' operations for many years. The solution that states came up with in the end is to make one thing, as usual, certain. You are likely to be taxed in full on both sides of the border.
DrBob, Feb 14 2019

       And who will generate the tax bills? Residence needs to be established and it cannot be. Customers would also make their purchases on the premises on the turntables, meaning that they too were fully integrated into the location flux. This is a unique situation. All regulations are specific re location and duration, yet these are not measurable here.
xenzag, Feb 14 2019

       //This is a unique situation. // If you mean the potential Irish border, no. If it does come into effect, it will be no different from any other border. I'm sure there are rules in place to stop someone running back and forth across the USA/UMS border continuously.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 14 2019

       Yes, but to apply the rules you need to be able prove a location. Apart from that, I believe the Irish border is quite unique. Just watch and see how it fucks up everything to do with brexit.
xenzag, Feb 14 2019

       No necessarily. A company has to declare its profits in one country or the other. The problem at the moment is companies declaring their profits in countries with low taxes.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 14 2019

       Yes, but that's only a problem for greedy, wasteful, incompetent governments*, and who cares about them ?   

       The era of the geographically-bounded nation state is gone; all hail the coming of the Service Provider model. Get over it, you stupid ape-descendants - time to move on.   

       Or for some of you, some more time sitting by the Black Monolith might help. Maybe.   

       *There may be governments that aren't greedy, wasteful AND incompetent all at once, but they'll always be at least two of those things.
8th of 7, Feb 14 2019

       ^I was going to mention "Snowcrash", but I couldn't be arsed.
not_morrison_rm, Feb 14 2019

       //time sitting by the Black Monolith// As I've explained multiple times before, [8th], felt-penning a taped-shut cereal box does not make it a monolith. And you're not impressing anyone.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 14 2019

       Too much of this uncertainty and you’ll descend into the state of American politics.
RayfordSteele, Feb 15 2019


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