Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.

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Hibernate through unemployment

Suspended animation with automated job searching after redundancy
  (+6, -3)
(+6, -3)
  [vote for,

One of the problems with being unemployed can be the ability to buy food, pay rent or mortgage, heat one's dwelling and so forth. These expenses could be reduced as follows.

On becoming unemployed, you have the option of a hospital-like facility placing you in hypothermia in a sort of capsule hotel style arrangement, where your vital signs are automatically monitored and you are tube or intravenously fed. This will make accommodation, food, water and oxygen more affordable. In the meantime, your details are placed on a database which attempts to match you to potential employers and possibly allows them to browse a videoed interview, CV, covering letter and the like. In the meantime, your body is used to test drugs and your waste products sold to help finance your suspended animation. In the unlikely event that you are offered an interview, you are revived.

You also have the option of being killed and having your organs harvested if you fail to find work after a certain period.

It's not really very proactive.

nineteenthly, Jan 24 2011

The unemployed awaiting organ harvesting http://www.lonelyre...9/02/comaimage1.gif
[ldischler, Jan 24 2011]


       This is something like the approach taken by Magrathea (sp.?)(they were waiting for the Galactic economy to recover sufficiently to afford their services) but applied to personal employment - also worth mentioning of course, is Hotblack Desiato, although he was spending a period of time dead "for tax reasons".
hippo, Jan 24 2011

       A very sci-fi idea, hordes of people fully catalogued, held in an economically viable state of suspension until such time as The Arcology decides to find a use for them - perhaps as cannon fodder, or to help clean out the death-tubes, or to work the Urillithium Mines on Tantus III, or the Slave-Ships of Oberon Prime. Sometimes, due to power-shortages, whole sections of the Jossent Grid† are accidentally powered down, the resulting spoilage, providing lots more work for the Bureau of Statistics as they delete the names from the register.   

       † The Jossent Grid - Jossent - Arch. From the old Job-Centre Act of 2053, where those claiming unempolyment benefit had to undergo psychometric and physical testing prior to being frozen under a joint government/Royal Bank of Scotland scheme thought to help the failing economy by removing those less productive from society until such time as they could be found gainful employment. Similar to the ImmiGrid, another scheme run side-by-side intended to address the immigration problem, sponsored by the Daily Mail, and McDonalds.
zen_tom, Jan 24 2011

       The power outages are fine - they provide Soylent Green and the calcium phosphate's quite a useful fertiliser and industrial material. Further studies are needed on this matter.   

       In the meantime, i think i'll throw a spaceship going to Neptune into the mix.
nineteenthly, Jan 24 2011

       [hippo], just don't sign up for the "B" Ark ....
8th of 7, Jan 24 2011

       So [Ian], "plentiful" as in there are a lot of them or "plentiful" as in lucrative, financially or otherwise? Are you saying we're "B" arking up the wrong tree (yes, i read album sleeves too!)?
nineteenthly, Jan 24 2011

       This is treating human beings as nothing more than interchangeable components in a vast organic machine.   

       Oh, wait ....
8th of 7, Jan 24 2011

       //myself to ask “what’s my product?” rather than “where can I find a job?”//   

       That's what jobseekers should be doing now. At least, that's the kind of thinking that was encouraged at a recent careers seminar. The general gist was really that marketing one's elf is all about knowing your 'product'.
Jinbish, Jan 24 2011

       For me at least, the issue hasn't been "how can i find a job?" for a very long time indeed. It's "how can i get paid for work?" And my main means of deriving an income is very much about customisation, and as of the spring will become even more so.
nineteenthly, Jan 24 2011

       I've baked this very well for the last year or so.
daseva, Jan 24 2011

       So you're using the InterPlaNet to post your annos now then?
nineteenthly, Jan 24 2011

       Boy, am I ever glad I'm not a Telephone Sanitizer.
Grogster, Jan 24 2011

       I was turned away in the final round of interviews for a sanitizing position because I was under-qualified.
rcarty, Jan 24 2011

       Can't believe that.   

       No way would you ever have made it past initial screening ..... did they put the Voight-Kampff on you ?
8th of 7, Jan 24 2011

       It's possible, but I can't be certain because for most of the interviews I was still cocooned within the disemboweled gourd of a rather innocent person who had happened along just before my appointment.   

       It was only after this temporary vessel became immobilized from rigor-mortis that I had to climb out and leave it discarded in a restroom before finally being found under-qualified for not being sanitary enough.
rcarty, Jan 24 2011

       Try McDonalds, they'll take ANYONE ....
8th of 7, Jan 24 2011

       I did, and their aptitude test result determined that I was a suitable candidate for making burgers.   

       Fortunately I quit before they could feed me thorugh the grinder.
rcarty, Jan 24 2011

       // Fortunately //   

       Fortunately for who, exactly ?
8th of 7, Jan 24 2011

       My potted plants would have certainly died.
rcarty, Jan 24 2011

       Could we not hibernate through employment and just be woken up for the weekends instead?
DrBob, Jan 25 2011

       Yes, but a career as a High Court Judge isn't for everyone.
8th of 7, Jan 25 2011


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