Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Holistic Automotive

Introductory whole vehicle chakra alignment $99.95
  [vote for,

At Holistic Automotive we cater to those of you who know that so called "science" and "logic" are schemes of big money corporations trying to squeeze money out of you.

Nature in all her wisdom didn't intend your car to be put through all the horrors a modern garage can subject it to just to make a buck.

We care for your car the natural way. While zen music plays, your car will have its chakra alignment performed while natural herbal gas additives are put in the tank. Technicians skilled at acupressure free the energy channels of your car giving you top performance and if necessary, full fluid replacement using homeopathic ancient Chinese curatives are employed.

Holistic Automotive: We'll get your car's engine humming like "Ommmmm".

doctorremulac3, Mar 30 2016

Inspired by this... Automotive_20Acupuncture
[doctorremulac3, Mar 30 2016]

...and this. Herbal_20gas_20additive
[doctorremulac3, Mar 30 2016]


       What could possibly go wrong ?
8th of 7, Mar 30 2016

       // zen music // Would that be the sound of a drum stick hitting no drum? And do you also service bikes? My bike's tires get a lot of acupuncture these days and don't handle it too well.
Toto Anders, Mar 30 2016

       This article is about the Quechua term. For other uses, see Chakra (disambiguation).   

       Chacra (from chakra Quechua for farm / field, land sown with seed,[1][2][3] hispanicized spellings chacra, chajra, chagra) is a term for small farms in the outskirts of cities dedicated to produce food for the city. Chakras are typically established on the ejidos of a city. They are commonly used for horticulture.   


       chak·ra ˈCHäkrə/ noun noun: chakra; plural noun: chakras   

       (in Indian thought) each of the centers of spiritual power in the human body, usually considered to be seven in number.   

       Perhaps in Vehicle: Car: Security: Decoy ?
normzone, Mar 30 2016

       I so love this. So much love this. Ommmm....
blissmiss, Mar 30 2016

       The misspelling was bugging me, but then I thought, hey, maybe that's how it's spelled...somewhere. Anyway, thanks for clearing up the confusion, [normzone].   

       And also, the idea [+]. Mechanics will admit that the solution to a particularly vexing automotive conundrum is often fluid and dynamic...woowoo zen, if you will. When a bigger hammer doesn't work, of course.
Sgt Teacup, Mar 30 2016

       Oops. Thanks Norm. Fix implemented.
doctorremulac3, Mar 30 2016

       //I so love this. So much love this. Ommmm....//   

       You gave me an idea for a better slogan. Thank you Blissy.
doctorremulac3, Mar 30 2016

       I hear they come much more recommended than the Scientologist Garage down the street.
RayfordSteele, Mar 30 2016

       Ha, that's gonna cost you some royalties, for stealing my "Ommmm". Gonna cost you big time, [doctorremulac3].
blissmiss, Mar 31 2016

       Tell you what, if I ever do this, I'll cut you in for half.   

       Joke would be on both of us if this actually worked. Actually, there might be some kind of placebo effect that extends to people's perception of how their car runs, so there might be something to this.
doctorremulac3, Mar 31 2016

       Give the car owner a little cup of chamomile tea, and drop in a Xanax, and all will be fine...just fine. Worries, I have none, noises under the hood, who cares...
blissmiss, Mar 31 2016

       Clear head, clear hood. Hmm. Think you're on to something there.
doctorremulac3, Mar 31 2016


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