Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Hot Rice Spa

Get Amongst It
  (+3, -1)
(+3, -1)
  [vote for,
against]

Your day was not nice.
The morning is harder.
The spa is filled with rice.
Definitely not fish tartar.

The heaters dryly heat
These little white grains,
Past the temperature of meat
But below the cooking of brains.

So following work you leap!
Directly into this spa,
And sinking down deep,
You grab your loofah.

The heat it surrounds you
Anaesthetizing hurts,
Yet as long as your breathing is true,
All yer agony inverts!

It may smell a bit cereal,
But that lasts for a day,
From there it's mercurial
- depends how vigorous your play.

So - Just jump into these seeds,
Relax, you, and enjoy!
Forget those daily needs,
Imagine Helen of troy!

For she was all about rice
and Paris and Rome.
Torino was also quite nice
But this is best at home!

mylodon, Nov 05 2017

Rice packs https://www.etsy.com/shop/theferriswheels
Current state of technology in this domain [mylodon, Nov 05 2017]


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Annotation:







       //Your day was not nice.
The morning is harder.
The spa is filled with rice.
Definitely not fish tartar.//
  

       This has to rank as the least ept piece of poetry of all time.   

       As to the idea - is the rice cooked or dry?
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 05 2017
  

       The concept of bathing in a vat of lukewarm rice pudding is one which we can unhesitatingly state that we wish had never been drawn to our attention.
8th of 7, Nov 05 2017
  

       I recall recently inviting someone to spend time sewn into a blanket, that was then immersed in week old porridge.
xenzag, Nov 05 2017
  

       Yes, and there's a special place in Hell for you, and people like you ...   

       Not to give too much away, but it involves porridge ... lots and lots of porridge. Have you watched "The Road To Wellville " ? Remember Mr. Lightbody ? The man who was ordered to be "taken to the yoghurt room and given fifteen gallons ..." ? Eh ?   

       Well, very like that, except using porridge. And a mere fifteen gallons seems a piffling amount.
8th of 7, Nov 05 2017
  

       I've just had a call from the International Guild of Poets, Oders and Lyricists asking if I know [mylodon]'s address.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 05 2017
  

       Don't you listen to the naysayers mylo.
I wrote the posting Thesaurusoetry, then somebody from here, (still no idea who), submitted it somewhere and I received a cheque in the mail for winning some poetry contest I had never entered.
  

       Life is weird.   

       Ha! and the tagline just read:
Like gliding backwards through porridge.
  

       No, no ive been misunderstood.
The rice must be dry!
You can't in porridge breathe true
You'd clog up and die!
mylodon, Nov 05 2017
  

       Thesaurusoetry made my morning [+]
mylodon, Nov 05 2017
  

       " I've just had a call from the International Guild of Poets, Oders and Lyricists asking if I know [mylodon]'s address. — MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 05 2017 "   

       Are you certain it wasn't POEM ( Professional Order of English Majors ) ?
normzone, Nov 05 2017
  

       The thing about poems that rhyme
Is that they really ought to scan correctly all the time.
If a word doesn't fit
Then consider omitt-
ing it or leave until the next line.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 05 2017
  

       I think someone needs to post an idea for a porridge fountain. I already generated the baked beans fountain, so the porridge is a natural successor. Leave it with me. (see porridge shower idea)
xenzag, Nov 05 2017
  

       Are you sure this Idea is not about rice pudding for cannibals?
Vernon, Nov 05 2017
  


 

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