Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Humiliating Furnace

Tells you how it really feels
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Take off the cover and it cries, "Ouch, you idiot."

Try to replace the filters. It deeply sighs and sternly says, "No, you're doing it wrong again."

Anytime you walk by it utters, "Don't touch me you big oaf."

The serviceman should be able to get all sorts of phrases coming out of the thing. After a couple years on the job he'll get tired of the whole lot and find pleasure in some new little hobby that takes all his time, keeps him coming home late, and not servicing your device anymore.

bdag, Oct 29 2009

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       I'm guessing you were the fly on the wall last week when I had to relight the pilot.
FlyingToaster, Oct 29 2009
  

       So the swearing in the basement during the beginning of 'A Christmas Story' wasn't the father, but the furnace?
RayfordSteele, Nov 01 2009
  
      
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