Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Human Amber

Eternity in golden gem
  (+6, -3)
(+6, -3)
  [vote for,

Amber is a strange and mysterious gem, long sought by craftsmen for its warm golden glow and beauty. Scientists seek amber mainly due to the presence of "inclusions" - small creatures and flora trapped 20-40 million years ago in pine tree sap, and frozen in time ever since.

Ah but that even a pharoah should achieve such a lasting tribute as that fortuned to the mere ant in amber!

Such immortality should be provided the general public, without the indignity of cyrogenics, by skilled craftsmen using state-of-the-art acrylic materials and partial remains of the deceased.

Your finished Human Amber would be a dazzling globe of frozen sunshine, capturing inside a tasteful arrangement of skull and hands, or perhaps an artistically spiraled spine. Included in the basketball-sized orb would be a handful of sentimental artifacts, perhaps a wedding ring or small holigraphic image of your cat.

Once completely hardened, your Human Amber will be cast into the ocean, to reside for thousands or millions of years before perhaps emerging into daylight again on some sandy shore, to be admired and treasured by the future races.

spartanica, Apr 01 2002

(?) Frog in amber http://www.uky.edu/...ritters/frog-b.html
25 million years old [spartanica, Apr 01 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

E'bone'ite http://www.ebonite....lStyleID=65&active=
They sell a 'skull' ball -- there are many other embedded life embodiments from which to choose. [reensure, Apr 02 2002]

(?) How to Make Your Own http://www.citilink.../Projects/ball.html
"Inspired by Ebonite's clear bowling ball with skull inside, I decide to make my own miniature version." [thumbwax, Apr 02 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Forest cemetary http://www.halfbake...a/Forest_20cemetery
Appropriate, in an odd sort of way [phoenix, Apr 03 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]


       Just after . . .
bristolz, Apr 02 2002

       Only 1:30? Ha, you have at least an hour before you need to go to sleep.
Galileo, Apr 02 2002

       UnaBubba-you have no time to read? Is it because you are always on the 1/2 Bakery?
wannalearn, Apr 02 2002

       I do. In fact I'd give the synthetic better odds of surviving. I mean, just look at the Hostess Twinkie shelf life.
bristolz, Apr 02 2002

       I like the idea. Natural amber is a relatively soft stone, so I think modern materials can equal or surpass it. I love the idea of passing directed fossils along to the future--very much a message in a bottle whose fate you cannot possibly know.   

       Unabubba, why in the **** isn't the darned nanny bottling and diapering your youngest at that unGodly hour? How does she earn her paycheck?
Dog Ed, Apr 02 2002

       Why not encase whole bodies? In a million years they could be brought back to life and bred a la Jurassic Park, to then proceed to waste the planet(s) and make war.
FarmerJohn, Apr 02 2002

       Ah, yes. I can just see the George Bush-a-sauras shouting tax reforms from the top of a prehistoric mountain now.
Pseudonym #3, Apr 02 2002

       Oh, great. As if human remains weren't taking up enough of the planet as it is, you want to clutter the world up with thousands of eternally surviving amber coffins lying around. Are you really beautiful enough that you want to be around in twenty thousand years?
sadie, Apr 25 2002

       You would of course need to include several pocessions in the amber along with your corpse...like a time capsule that will never be opened; until OPEC finds you millions of years later and ha their way with you
Juleus, Dec 28 2002

       I want to be preserved in a diamond. Current tech allows diamond-coating of metallic surfaces, used most commonly to make high-quality cutting tools. I'm confident that The Scientists will find a way to apply such a coating to any material, even skin and cloth.
friendlyfire, Dec 28 2002

       I think, it's a great idea. Amber balls take up less room than a grave, are more versatile, more individual, more care-free and if they end up just lying around, they can still be crushed and burried.   

       If you use synthetic material, you can create them in all sizes, colors and shapes, perhaps arranging a spacy ancestor arrangement in your living space or a special room or place.
fuqnbastard, Jun 07 2004

       i like the hologram concept...bun.
shinobi, Jun 08 2004


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