Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Hyperbaric Departure Lounge

Squeeze the passengers, maximize profit
  [vote for,

Aircraft fly by having at least as much lift as weight. Lift is provided by aerofoils and airspeed, airspeed is provided by thrust, which costs fuel and therefore money. In recent years, United Airlines, among others, have begun replacing the pilots flight bags with iPads and the like. The flight bag would normally be filled with >20kg of flight plans, navigational charts weather reports and other assorted paperwork. This weight saving translates to a big fuel saving when applied to a large airline <link>.

Now, when SCUBA diving, many people pee. More than usual. The phenomenon, termed "immersion diuresis" has two components, cold, and pressure. Cold constricts the vast network of capillaries in the skin, increasing blood pressure slightly, and pressure increases... well, pressure generally. Both of these combine to force more water through the kidneys by increasing filtration rate. Meaning you pee more.

Now, if airlines were to collude with airports on this, then the departure lounge should be deliberately chilly, and hyperbaric. Squeezing an extra 100l pee out of 200 passengers is a lot better than swapping that ipad in. The good thing about loosing weight off the aircraft is you don't need as much fuel. Which means the aircraft needs less fuel to carry THAT fuel, and so on.

So, departure lounges, high pressure, cold, toilets like palaces. For extra points, get the passengers to burn off glycogen and its associated water by making sure the snacks are super expensive... oh, they're onto that one.

bs0u0155, May 13 2015

326,000 Gallons saved http://www.apple.co...es/united-airlines/
[bs0u0155, May 13 2015]

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       You could always make a pre-boarding announcement along the lines of "Boarding will commence in 15 minutes; this flight is operated on behalf of Delta by Aeroflot and Malaysian Airlines." That would reduce average passenger boarding weight quite effectively.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 13 2015

       I think Aeroflot's involvement might actually protect a Malaysian plane, from errant SAMs anyhow.
bs0u0155, May 13 2015

       //United Airlines, among others, have begun replacing the pilots flight bags with iPads //   

       Why not simply implement the passengers in software?
MaxwellBuchanan, May 13 2015

       Incidentally, if you kept people for an hour in a hyperbaric room, then put them in a cabin pressure equivalent to 8,000ft, would they not tend to pop?
MaxwellBuchanan, May 13 2015

       //would they not tend to pop?//   

       Hosing them out at the other end is a fast and convenient method of deplaning.
bs0u0155, May 13 2015

       Forget the plane and transport everyone by supersonic sub.
nineteenthly, May 13 2015

       Well, the speed of sound in water is over 3000 mph, so the journey times would be attractive.
bs0u0155, May 13 2015

       Hyperbaric departure lounge. At the gate, hypobaric area (4000m AMSL equivalent) with very low humidity & warm temperature. Passengers lose more mass by faster evaporation from the lungs. Plus, leave them there long enough and they'll acclimatise - no need to pressurise the aircraft, hence less stress on the airframe and another fuel saving. Plus the low oxygen level will keep 'em docile during the flight.
8th of 7, May 17 2015

       Low temperatures also cause human bodies to burn more calories to keep themselves warm. This will also reduce body weight a small amount for each passenger (plus encourages pee-ing, since water is one of the by-products of the metabolism process).
Vernon, May 17 2015

       //At the gate, hypobaric area (4000m AMSL equivalent)//   

       I thought of this, my reasoning was different though,we have this zone so that any intestinal gasses that might occur in the hi-low pressure transition should be released before people get into the confined tube.
bs0u0155, May 17 2015

       So, have a counter selling air freshener, nose clips and deodorant at inflated prices.   

       It can't fail !   

       Who would have thought it was possible to chisel so much money from the travelling public ? Apart from airlines and airports, that is …
8th of 7, May 18 2015


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