Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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There goes my teleportation concept.

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Inside-out mosquito net

Very satisfying.
  (+12, -4)(+12, -4)
(+12, -4)
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This new BorgCo product consists of a small tent (about 200 x 300 mm at the base) made of very fine black mesh, which clips firmly on top of a small tank of water.

Each week, a postal package containing freshly-harvested mosquito larvae is delivered, which are emptied into the water tank. Soon, the mosquitoes hatch, and fly frantically around inside the tent, desperately trying to find a source of blood, preferably yours.

You, however, sit safely on the outside, watching their increasingly feeble attempts to escape, as they slowly starve to death and finally fall lifeless to float in the water.

Rinse out the tank, and you're ready for the next batch.

Hours of fun for all the family, and a slow, pointless and miserable death for vast numbers of mosquitoes.

8th of 7, Aug 16 2011

[link]






       // freshly-harvested mosquito larvae //   

       That lets me bun this. I can't hold with hatching out skeeters just to be mean to them, but if they are already alive, yeah.   

       I've hidden from mosquitoes in hot sleeping bags, under mosquito nets, and by not going to interesting places. I've worried that I had malaria, and seen my mother deathly ill with West Nile virus.   

       But don't send me a kit, thanks. The noise would give me nightmares.
baconbrain, Aug 16 2011
  

       bun for the laugh ... but careful with evolution. After millions of generations, you risk the possibility of super mosquitos. If 10,000 of these nets are sold, chances are that 5 of them will malfunction or otherwise release the mosquitos early before fully dead. Over many generations, this may breed mosquitos will hibernate (pretend to be dead) until disposed of .. then they wake up and seek revenge. It's like taking anti-biotics and stopping half way through the prescription. ... if you do this long enough, eventually you'll get mosquitos that eat through the mesh.... and that won't be funny any more.
ixnaum, Aug 16 2011
  

       you are evil but <hits [8th] in chest> I love you...
po, Aug 16 2011
  

       Very amusing, but the larvae will never actually mature; that's what they blood is for. The adult mosquito doesn't feed on the blood, she just transports it to her young.
Alterother, Aug 16 2011
  

       [ixnaum], mosquitos do hibernate; we get them in the house all winter because a chilly late season mosquito will sit down on the stack of firewood to rest and lapse into a little buggy coma, only to thaw out when we bring the wood inside and set it down next to the woodstove. Interestingly, they don't seem to bite after waking up, they just fly around the house until they die, then the cat eats them.
Alterother, Aug 16 2011
  

       Takes the rue out of cruelty.
rcarty, Aug 16 2011
  

       hehehe, BUN [+]. This beats an ant farm...
Grogster, Aug 16 2011
  

       // <hits [8th] in chest> //   

       Ouch, that HURTS !   

       <appeal to assembled HalfBakers>   

       She's a girl, are we allowed to hit her back ?   

       </appeal to assembled HalfBakers>
8th of 7, Aug 16 2011
  

       [Alter] That assumes a degree of caring (and knowing where your young are) that is atypical for insects. My understanding was that the blood was needed for the female to become fertile, not for the young themselves.
MechE, Aug 17 2011
  

       Maybe that's what it is. You know me, too lazy to look stuff up. At least right now the damn sattelite's running like molasses and giving me a decent excuse for not hitting wiki to confirm every single anno.
Alterother, Aug 17 2011
  

       Takes all the fun out of chasing them. What's with this generation of passivity? Now if it could be connected to a wifi camera and you could watch it on youtube, that would be another thing.
pashute, Aug 17 2011
  

       Gives me a new perspective on God, as we sit, spinning on an escapeless earth, floating in a vaccuum devoid of nearby sustaining nutrients...
RayfordSteele, Aug 17 2011
  

       // Yes, yes you are //   

       <Tweaks [po]'s ladybumps, runs away sniggering>   

       [Rayford], maybe it should be re-titled Be Your Own God kit ?
8th of 7, Aug 17 2011
  

       I give it a bun just for listing it under "Culture"
AusCan531, Aug 20 2011
  

       I have hobby of catching mosquitoes, spraying them with mosquito repellant then releasing them back into the wild. Now who is the one who has no friends you bloodsucking, annoying vermin?
AusCan531, Aug 27 2011
  

       //Interestingly, they don't seem to bite after waking up//   

       Those might be males - they can be distinguished by their feathery antennae, needed to track down fertile females.   

       The females have to track down much larger prey, and can do with a simpler sniffing apparatus.
neelandan, Aug 27 2011
  

       Coming soon from BorgCo, the Mosquito Dungeon, for those desiring a more interactive experience.   

       Comes complete with mosquito-sized rack, iron maiden, head crusher, stocks etc., a binocular microscope, and a couple of pairs of long, fine tweezers
8th of 7, Aug 27 2011
  
      
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