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"And didn't Caesar once say..."
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Ever found it hard to fit in at dinner parties and posh receptions? Your problems are solved with the insta-quote: A machine that analyses the flow of conversation, selects a suitable quote (from its huge database of billions of humourous/famous quotes) and communicates it to you via a hidden earpiece. You then introduce this quote into the conversation and become the most popular guy/gal there!

Note: The machine would obviously be pocket-sized. Extra memory could be purchased to supply jokes and witty comments.

Mr Phase, Jul 14 2005

(?) Shazam http://www.shazam.c.../help_faqs_shazam#1
A Music recognition service for mobile phones in the UK, You call the number and Shazam "Listens" to the music playing in the bar/club and texts you with the Artist and Trackname.... [Minimal, Jul 15 2005]


       Well, its magic. AI can't quite do this, yet. But, as the idea stands, I like it. I think machines will have an active role in socializing for many years to come.   

       Already, before I debate, or quote, or think, I can use google to forge my stance. One day, this type of informed debate could become widespread. I am neutral, however, due to the magiciousness of the post.
daseva, Jul 14 2005

       This product isn't as far off as you might think. We already have truth detectors that analyse the average pitch and modulation of the voice. We also have products that can, if allowed to listen to the same voice for a few hours, recognise anything they might say and even replicate their voice and mannerisms. Technology IS the future!
Mr Phase, Jul 14 2005

       Was it not Samuel Palmer that said "Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them."   

neilp, Jul 15 2005

       "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."   

       Ralph Waldo Emerson (Journals, 1849)
neilp, Jul 15 2005

       MFD rescinded. Magic.   

       Even so, as soon as someone recognised your opinions as being repeated quotes, you would be made foolish. Also, if these caught on, we would cease to have original conversations, we would merely recycle old ones.
hidden truths, Jul 15 2005

       Perhaps we could demagicify the idea by removing the analysis part and playing on pure word recognition. The machine could be taught a wide variety of pronunciations of key words (sex, death, beer) and can offer a range of or random quote on that general topic. Just about doable, I reckon, though use of the machine may well lead people into thinking you are a nutbar, prone to wiggling your finger in your ear and making only tangentally related proclamations.
calum, Jul 15 2005

       I don't think there is any reason to be surrepticious with this invention. If your mobile phone could do this, then put it on the table and let it chip in to the conversation occasionally with interesting facts and quotes. If the quotes are a bit random, that would be funny, either way it could stimulate the debate...

Shazam [link] is a service for mobile phones in the UK which recognises music that is playing. Maybe this could work in a similar way?
Minimal, Jul 15 2005

       // Technology IS the future. //   

       Can I use that? Wow, that's like, heavy, man.
RayfordSteele, Jul 16 2005

       Sure, in years it'll be used by insta-quotes world-wide..."As Mr. Phase once said, 'technology IS the future' "
Mr Phase, Jul 28 2005


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