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International Dangerous Day

Protest Against the Rising Tide of Conformity!
  (+11, -2)(+11, -2)
(+11, -2)
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This may well fall foul of the let's-allness rules. However, I don't see how any entry in this category can fail to be a "let's all".

So.

I would like to designate the first Friday the 13th of every year as International Dangerous Day.

On this day, people will break through barriers to walk across dust- generating ceramic sunflower seeds. They will use electric drills without wearing safety glasses. They will add salt to their food. They will cross roads using nothing but their own judgement, regardless of the colour of the cross lights. They will apply varnish in areas that are not well ventilated. They will tow cars using a rope. They will exceed the recommended dose of aspirin. They will use their mobile phones on petrol station forecourts. They will travel on escalators without holding the moving hand rail. They will play conkers. They will eat soft cheeses. They will change lightbulbs without ensuring that the supply has been turned off. They will give sparklers to children under the age of sixteen. They will wire their own plugs. They will place heavy items on shelves above eye level. They will expose aerosol cans to direct sunlight or temperatures of 51°C. They will willfully fail to retain packaging for future reference. They will make and throw paper darts. They will seek out and use old solvent-based whiteboard markers and mercury thermometers.

The sound of a billion champagne corks being fired, carefree, will echo across the land, and men will be free.

MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 15 2010

You'll have to disable your alarms The_20_22Boy_20From...22_20Safety_20Alarm
[infidel, Oct 15 2010]

Office Safety Tips http://www.buzzle.c...-the-workplace.html
Suspended for IDD [Boomershine, Oct 16 2010]

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       Not to worry about the MFD. This is more of a "let's don't all," really.   

       Another Bastard Child of Necessity is born!   

       (Will hospital emergency rooms be open on this holiday?)
Boomershine, Oct 15 2010
  

       It's not actually a holiday. In fact, it is intended largely to be celebrated in the workplace. Remember, you can fire some of your employees for failing to place warning signs on the floor where a cup of water has been spilled all of the time, and you can fire all of your employees for failing to place warning signs on the floor where a cup of water has been spilled some of the time, but you can't fire all of your employees for failing to place warning signs on the floor where a cup of water has been spilled all of the time.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 15 2010
  

       ..of course. Then hospitals will be open. I'm thinking especially for those who enjoy hearing loss from the champagne corks being fired.   

       Will we get one of these days this year? I'll call in sick.
Boomershine, Oct 15 2010
  

       Hmmm. I have the overwhelming urge to run with scissors...
Grogster, Oct 15 2010
  

       Can this be a day where we all storm the padded offices of the Department of Health & Safety and beat the occupants to death with pillows and beanbags, just for fun?
infidel, Oct 15 2010
  

       I could get behind this, especially if, after decorking the champagne, one was encouraged to offer free drinks to any pregnant women in the vicinity. [+]
gisho, Oct 15 2010
  

       //Hmmm. I have the overwhelming urge to run with scissors...//   

       Check the calendar, [Grog].
Boomershine, Oct 15 2010
  

       //free drinks to any pregnant women in the vicinity. //   

       [Max] couldn't cover everything in his description. I'm sure he meant, "etc."   

       Oh, [+].
Boomershine, Oct 15 2010
  

       //decorking the champagne, one was encouraged to offer free drinks to any pregnant women in the vicinity.//   

       I think a red would go better with the soft cheeses, but sure.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 15 2010
  

       This is a *terrible* idea. A catalog of really *boring* forms of risky behavior. (Except for the part about ceramic sunflower seeds: that sounds like fun.) It takes the idea of devil-may- care, carpe diem livelifetothefullest and domesticates it. Like "casual Friday" in the billing department at Consolidated Widgets. I smell irony.
mouseposture, Oct 16 2010
  

       //A catalog of really *boring* forms of risky behavior.//   

       Apparently, [Mr Crazy Fun Hater mouseposture] , you missed this: //I have the overwhelming urge to run with scissors...//   

       *Real* scissors, right [Grog]?
Boomershine, Oct 16 2010
  

       International "anything" day... begins list.... walking two steps backwards for every ten forwards; wearing a bowler hat (also known as Magritte day); wearing a moustache - fake if necessary - (male and female); doing a head-stand in a park at mid-day; jumping off the ground so that at one single moment, there are no human feet on the earth's surface; clicking ball pens for an hour..... I have many more. [+]
xenzag, Oct 16 2010
  

       I shall "Protest Against the Rising Tide of Conformity" by being dangerous whenever I feel like it, rather than just on the allocated day.
hippo, Oct 16 2010
  

       //being dangerous whenever I feel like it, rather than just on the allocated day//   

       An excellent and laudable attitude. However, the bonus of IDD is that, if everyone breaks some trivial health-and-safety rule at the same time, very little can be done about it. It's the same principle that makes cicadas emerge en masse at the same time - predators are overwhelmed.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 16 2010
  

       //*Real* scissors, right [Grog]?//   

       Right, [Boomer], the real McCoy, with the pointy ends. I'm thinking maybe through narrow office corridors with lots of open file cabinet drawers. Just to keep my intensity up, I might have a nice open-top cup of scalding hot coffee in the other hand as I dash through. (Dang, I hope this day falls on "Talk Like a Pirate" day so I can holler "ARRR!!!" every time I hurdle a file cabinet drawer)
Grogster, Oct 16 2010
  

       Crimson Permanent Assurance will cancel your policy, [Grog]
infidel, Oct 16 2010
  

       //very little can be done about it// I dispute that. What is ordinarily done about such minor infractions consists of paperwork and meetings spread out over weeks to months after the incident. This will simply provide job security for the Health&Safety bureaucrats the other 364.25 days of the year.
mouseposture, Oct 16 2010
  

       Oh yes + I've just been waiting to use the ladder on an uneven surface!!
xandram, Oct 16 2010
  

       //This will simply provide job security for the Health&Safety bureaucrats...//   

       [mouse] Are you perhaps overlooking the fact that H & S bureaucrats are *employees*? It's a day of revelry for them, as well. [link]
Boomershine, Oct 16 2010
  

       [Boomershine] How does that affect my argument? You think because they run with scissors one day of the year, they won't do their jobs the rest of the year?   

       Seriously, you're overlooking an important principle. Bureaucrats aren't a different species* The stupidity resides in the organization, not the individuals. This is the thing which dismays me about large institutions: everyone knows it's a lie, yet everyone continues going through the motions. Even the people at the top, who create policy. The Soviet Union functioned this way for decades. The only thing that can threaten this is if a true believer gets past the filters and accidentally rises to a position of power. (I'm thinking of Gorbachev, of course.)   

       *Exept for the Bureau of Motor Vehicles, of course. Their brains have been taken over by parasitic worms from Alpha Eridani.
mouseposture, Oct 16 2010
  

       Finally!
<dusts off antique lawn dart set>
  

       //How does that affect my argument? You think because they run with scissors one day of the year, they won't do their jobs the rest of the year? //   

       Well, not at all, probably. Your argument, as usual, is well thought out and well presented. It is distinguished from the other annos here, as far as I can tell (and this difference seems to lie at the heart of many HB arguments) by its degree of seriousness.   

       It is my perception that nearly all "important principles" in this idea are being deliberately overlooked, with an aim toward HB Silliness.   

       [Max] can make his own case perfectly well--as we all well know--if he wishes to, but this is my explanation for my own comments.   

       [Max] did name this *International* Dangerous Day. If we really wanted to get serious about this, 'dangerous' would have a completely different context in some countries, and not be funny at all.
Boomershine, Oct 16 2010
  

       //distinguished ... by its degree of seriousness// How dare you! I'm *completely* serious about the brain parasites from Alpha Eridani!
mouseposture, Oct 16 2010
  

       // 'dangerous' would have a completely different context in some countries, and not be funny at all.//   

       International Talk Like a Pirate Day is a bit edgy in Somalia too.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 16 2010
  

       //How dare you! I'm *completely* serious//   

       Um..this was exactly my point. You were (and still are, even though [Max] has shown up) the *only* serious one in the room.
Boomershine, Oct 16 2010
  

       I have to agree there, [bigsleep], that is one of the worlds great smells...
Grogster, Oct 16 2010
  

       //Sitting over a soldering iron inhaling lead fumes //   

       [bigsleep] You bring tears to my eyes....just like the old days.
Boomershine, Oct 16 2010
  

       //the indelible mark of a future electronics engineer//   

       Or a terrorist bomber.
Boomershine, Oct 17 2010
  

       Takes a man of real nerve to bomb terrorists.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 17 2010
  

       Perhaps he's referring to the officer responsible for dropping terrorists, parachuteless, out of airplanes. I believe Argentina used to do that with individuals deemed a threat to social order.
mouseposture, Oct 17 2010
  

       That's terrible! What if they landed on someone?
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 17 2010
  

       Alright, who ARE you two people, and what have you done with [Max] and [mouse]?!? (Your phony "nice guy" accents were dead give aways...)
Boomershine, Oct 17 2010
  

       // Takes a man of real nerve to bomb terrorists //   

       Ol' George W. certainly had the cojones for that ... just a shame he wasn't ever quite sure who, and where, the enemy were. Except of course the Democrats in Congress, which went without saying.   

       "Better that a thousand innocent people should be cluster-bombed than a single terrorist go free". Or something like that - not sure his soundbites were quite that coherent.   

       // What if they landed on someone? //   

       S'Ok, they used to fly waaay out over the sea. No risk to anyone below.
8th of 7, Oct 18 2010
  

       I don't think being dangerous means being violent. That's why [MB]'s initial examples appear to some as boring risks... Because danger is like that; it's not necessarily violent. Sure, doing violent things is dangerous too, but not all dangerous things are violent. Anyways, reminds me of the Shamaladingdong movie 'The Happening' where people would get the virus or whatever and commit suicide in the most expedient conceivable way.
daseva, Oct 18 2010
  

       They are intentionally boring risks. Nobody will die as a result, hospital admissions will remain the same, and healthandsafety people will only froth gently like salted slugs.   

       Of course, though, the reality will be different. As many people will die on IDD as on the preceding day, but all of their deaths will be blamed on IDD.   

       So, once again, it's back to the darwin board.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 18 2010
  

       // healthandsafety people will only froth gently like salted slugs. //   

       We will pay a pound to watch that.
8th of 7, Oct 18 2010
  

       //back to the darwin board//   

       [marked-for-tagline]   


 

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