Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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This entire idea was triggered by a phone call I had earlier this afterevening, from Michael Rentisham-Ffoulkes, who is on the Technical Advisory Board of Rentishams.

Michael is aware of the Internet (he is, after all, a Technical Advisor) and is even considering installing a machine to access it in Rentisham's 'head Office. However, he had recently come across the phrase "Internet of Things", and asked me to give him a quick explanation thereof. I did my best.

Once he had grasped the concept of a refrigerator that can email its owner, he enquired as to whether animals had also been internet-enabled. He was quite surprised that, in going from the Internet of People to the Internet of Things, technology had not passed through the Internet of Animals. All this set me thinking, which is never a good thing, and I think he is onto something.

I have, in the past, been the guardian and protector of several goldfish. I am currently in loco parentis to four Giant African Land-snails. None of these pets is in any way satisfying. Goldfish just swim, go "glub glub", die and then float. Giant African Land-snails don't even do any of those things - they just live on and on, like chihuahuas and television chefs. Many other pets are equally unexciting.

The solution, it occurs to me, is to internet pets. Obviously giving a keyboard to a goldfish is unlikely to work, so a different approach is needed. Many pets, these days, are microchipped - the implanted chip simply serves to identify the animal, should it get lost. Yet, with modern electronics, the implanted chip could do more, much more.

What's needed is an implantable chip that can report interesting information, wirelessly, powered by a small internal battery that can be recharged inductively. Said chip will need things like GPS and compass, motion sensors, pressure and temperature sensors, and perhaps even a microphone (if the chip can be implanted just beneath the skin). The chip can be made to tweet interesting events, such as "My core temperature is 2 degrees above normal, perhaps I have distemper, LOL" or "Just finished 100 laps of my goldfish bowl - time for a snack!" or "I have been motionless for 34 hours. I'm either hibernating or dead but, as a cat, it's probably the latter."

Celebrity pets might attract quite a following ("I'm being taken out in Paris Hilton's handbag"; "I'm in the White House"), but even the most mundane pet could provide entertainment and diversion for its owner.

MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 26 2017

Give Wild Elephants Smartphones My contribution [notexactly, Apr 27 2017]

:-( http://www.iotnewsnetwork.com/tag/pets/
boring applications of this idea for the more active pets [pashute, Apr 30 2017]


       " You had to work late - I had to poop in the house "   

       " You have been on vacation - I have adequate food and water, but your absence annoys me, so I have rearranged small items everywhere I can "
normzone, Apr 26 2017

       "We are the Borg ... we have come for your female sheep ... Ewe will be Assimilated ... Resistance is futile ..."   

8th of 7, Apr 26 2017

MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 26 2017

       "10% off, if owner is chip implanted at the same time as their pet."   

       Golfers will be implanted using shotguns or chip shot. Farmers of tubers would be potato chipped. Weather forecasters would be ice chipped.   

       Donald Trump walked in with a chip in his shoulder and Ivana made him dance the Hokey-pokey.
popbottle, Apr 26 2017

       One could read 8th's comment entirely wrong all too easily.
RayfordSteele, Apr 26 2017

       No InEweEndo intended ...
8th of 7, Apr 26 2017

       // pets are things? //   

       Cats are things. Dogs are sentient life-forms.
8th of 7, Apr 27 2017

       Actually this has merit. consider a microchipped pet going from kitchen to livingroom. Then while playing a video game called "rescue your cat!" you aim a laser cannon at things like pokemon that might effect your cat. Then you verbally recount to your cat the epic battles you have participated in to save its life, over and over. So there is something new to talk about with your cat.
beanangel, Apr 29 2017

       //Actually this has merit.// Would you try not to sound so surprised?   

       Anyway, I've tried this. Lashed up a Raspberry Pi, subcutaneous inductive loop charger, supercapacitor, temperature sensor and a 3-axis sensor. Surprisingly simple. The goldfish can't get off the bottom of the bowl, but I can tell exactly how warm he is.   

       [edit] I just tried the inductive charger, and the goldfish is now off the bottom of the bowl.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 29 2017

       You could help me build a mental image of your device if you could specify which of the mentioned items were installed inside the goldfish.
lurch, Apr 29 2017

       Well, all of them. It seemed simpler than having wires sticking out of it.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 29 2017

       // aim a laser cannon at things like pokemon that might effect your cat. //   

       Just aim an actual laser directly at the actual cat.   

       Sp. "affect"   

       // Then you verbally recount to your cat the epic battles you have participated in to save its life, over and over. So there is something new to talk about with your cat. //   

       You need a psychiatrist, or better, immediate euthanasia.
8th of 7, Apr 30 2017

       Googling "IoP internet of" returned many different ways that IoP is already used: Internet of People Internet of Patients Internet of Possibilities Internet of Plants Internet of Products Internet of Pee Internet of Payments Internet of Places Internet of Packaging Internet of Pests Internet of Popcorn Internet of Printers Internet of Pager Internet of Pets !! Internet of Potatoes ...
scad mientist, Apr 30 2017

       baked. Even with plants. (look up Arduino aquaponics) But great idea. So + from me.
pashute, Apr 30 2017

       // Arduino aquaponics //   

       Or indeed the Raspberry Pi ... the Apple ... the Commodore PET ...
8th of 7, Apr 30 2017


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