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Iron Pigeon Poo

Feed pigeons iron supplements to make their poo go black.
  (+9, -5)
(+9, -5)
  [vote for,

As I walked to work this morning through George Square (Glasgow) I noticed that poor William Gladstone was in desperate need of Grecian 2000.

From what I can reckon, most of the historical statues in Glasgow are a dark coloured metal. George Square happens to be infested with pigeons. Hordes of pigeons. This means shed loads of white, minging sh*t - and where do pigeons do most of their sh*t? Anywhere they perch, that's where. And poor old Willy G had it really bad this morning.

To combat this, without just killing the flying rats - I propose a novel solution to colour the bird poo with iron sulphate. A prescribed supplement for a deficiency of iron in the blood, iron sulphate causes, as one of its side effects, a blackening of stool.

Now, since pigeons seem to indiscriminately peck at the ground I suggest that this supplement be impregnated into small pieces of bread or pastry that are left over at the local bakery (there is one on George Square). These items are then distributed across the square for the consumption of the feathered vermin.

Now when they poo they won't ruin little Willy's hairdo.

Jinbish, Jul 25 2005

Statue of William Gladstone http://www.artandar...l?ixsid=vj8TouV5J7P
His head was white today... it should be black. It should also be quite solid (being a statue) - instead, it looked gloopy. [Jinbish, Jul 25 2005]

NOT flying rats!!! pigeon_20litter_20patrol
[etherman, Jul 25 2005]

Statues in George Square http://jinbish.mult....com/photos/album/7
Today's report on statue head status and a possible rival solution proposed by The Duke of Wellington [Jinbish, Jul 28 2005]


       I can actually imagine this happening, but won't the iron just kill the pidgeons? I was actually there this morning, and I can just imagine looking at old Will with what looks like a new hair 'doo'...
froglet, Jul 25 2005

       The death of the pigeons would be a truly unfortunate side effect. I haven't a clue whether the iron would actually kill them or not - all I know is that they continually peck the concrete and somehow gain sustenance.
Jinbish, Jul 25 2005

       Internal bleeding causes blackening of the stool too.
Shz, Jul 25 2005

       I thought the title was an imperative.   

       <tosses icky iron into bin>
salachair, Jul 25 2005

       I'll be all for this as long as it doesnt kill the pigeons. As they could be very useful, not just pests. <see link>   

       Plus, Glasgow is a top place anything that makes it better needs lots of buns.
etherman, Jul 25 2005

       Feed them Guinness - it does the trick for blokes!
gnomethang, Jul 25 2005

       Well, it's either this or commision some guy with a hawk to fly his pet predator around the place every other day to keep the pidgeons out.
froglet, Jul 25 2005

       I figured from the title that this would be for magnetic poo removal.
If you mixed, seed coated small ceramic magnet, balls into the food, it could, <I think>, safely pass through their systems, may indeed turn the poo black, (or at least salt'n'pepper), and as an added bonus there may be a way to diamagneticly repel it from said statues’ hairdos.

       Do pigeons have craws?   

Thermite eh? Talk about your stealth bombers.

       What about all the things they shit on that are white?
Giblet, Jul 26 2005

       [Giblet]: Shush. You'll ruin everything!
Jinbish, Jul 26 2005

       Considering there was no bones before my annotation, and now there is three (I didn't vote), I guess I already did :D
Giblet, Jul 26 2005

       Feed them something with a bit of a copper compound in those municipalities with bronze statuary.
elhigh, Aug 01 2005

       I thought you were going to feed them so much iron that you can clean away their poo with a magnet, but [salachair]'s misunderstanding was funnier.
dbmag9, Aug 02 2005

       Getting hit by bird poo, while unpleasant, will be sorely missed when compared to now being knocked out by pellets of metal and seeing statues turned to shrapnel.
fridge duck, Aug 04 2005


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