Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Is This A Better Mousetrap?

The public will beat a path to your door.
  (+4, -1)
(+4, -1)
  [vote for,

Mice (and rats) are the most common mammals on Earth, numbering even more than humans. Because of this we kill them in massive numbers, largely because we can't stand competition for the resources we both use... mostly food.

UBCo's Better Mousetrap is a veritable vermin Valhalla, with massive supplies of fast food for our furry friends, laced with appetite enhancers and sterility supplements.

Widescreen video feeds run 24/7, featuring partially shaven, nubile mouseketeers, pole-dancing and running on treadmills to entertain males, while female mice and rats admire parades of muscular Mus musculus and randy Rattus rattus with bulging scrotal sacs, while the reprehensible rodents quickly gorge themselves to peaceful oblivion.

Soon, like us, they'll be distracted to death by free bread and cheap circus tricks. Once word gets around we'll soon have the place to ourselves.

*(Any similarities, in the idea description, to modern human society and its manipulation by our political masters is purely coincidental and um, unintentional.)

UnaBubba, Apr 11 2012


       // Is This A Better Mousetrap? //   

       Probably not.
Alterother, Apr 11 2012

       I agree. However, I'm tired of removing the stiff, bloodied carcasses of rats and mice from traps around our place. The only upside to the current vermin plague where I live is the 10-11ft Carpet Python that has taken up residence in the shed, and is eating the rats faster than they can take over the place.
UnaBubba, Apr 11 2012

       Oi! Who let you back in?
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Apr 11 2012

       Oi! Who let you back in?   

       (Nice to see you again)
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Apr 11 2012

       hi, UB.
neelandan, Apr 11 2012

       Welcome home Mr Bubba [+]
zen_tom, Apr 11 2012

       //RT @KingRat @UB on to us, we attack at dawn!
theircompetitor, Apr 11 2012

       A wonderful addition to the mousetrap collection. Yay!
blissmiss, Apr 11 2012

       I think its "Rattus Norvegicus" round these parts, fella!.
Whist our Swedish cousins distract us by being silly/attractive in equal measure and the Finns simply loll around not getting sarcasm the Norwegians are taking over the world.
Something must be done!
gnomethang, Apr 11 2012

       //I think its "Rattus Norvegicus" round these parts, fella!// Australia has both; but I think you're more likely to see norvegicus, especially around buildings.
spidermother, Apr 12 2012

       That may be, [spidey], but I'm on ten acres in the country and our rats are most likely to be Black Rats (Rattus rattus), rather than the Scandinavian "berserkers" of our cities and ports.
UnaBubba, Apr 12 2012

       R. rattus do better in warmer climates, too, so you're probably right. They're both delicious.
spidermother, Apr 12 2012

       There's a restaurant in Beijing that serves only rat dishes. I'd like to visit it someday.
UnaBubba, Apr 12 2012

       Eating pest species is underrated in the West, but it does solve at least two problems.
spidermother, Apr 12 2012

       I'm not sure politicians would taste so good... all that bitterness and bullshit...
UnaBubba, Apr 12 2012

       //"Rattus Norvegicus"// No, it's Rattus Bubbus, it clearly says so at the end of the idea, just before the date.
zeno, Apr 13 2012

       Not Kosher
pashute, Nov 12 2012

       Not even if we give them little cloven hoofs first?
spidermother, Nov 13 2012


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